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Modern Family S01E11

Part 2 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:39 p.m.

没事回去睡觉
It's nothing. Go back to bed.
-不爸爸 -别碰我
- No, but Dad... - Don't touch me.
我敢肯定只是颗肾结石
I bet it's just a kidney stone.
又说"只是"
"Just" Again.
你们谁下去给你妈倒杯水
Someone get your mom a glass of water...
再从车道上捡颗石子看她觉得滋味如何
and a piece of gravel from the driveway and see how she likes it.
大家在吵什么
Why is everybody yelling?
爸爸有点不对劲
Something's wrong with Dad.
别吓着他了过来
Don't frighten him. Come here.
要死了死神要过来索命了
Oh, that's gotta be death! Death is coming!
-你得去医院 -没错
- Okay, you need to go to the hospital. - Yeah.
不用不用吃药就行了
No, no, no. I just need a pill.
给我找片最大的药来
Give me the biggest one you can find.
亲爱的深呼吸深呼吸就行了
Honey, breathe. Just-Just breathe.
你生孩子的时候我也是这么跟你说的
That's what I told you when youwere in labor
结果你把奶昔扔我脸上了药呢
and you threw my smoothie at me. Pill!
-我去打电♥话♥ -真不用没事
- Okay, I'm calling. - No, no, it's fine!
没事过去了疼痛已经过去了
It's actually- It's fine. It's passing. It's passing.
很抱歉吓着大家了
I am sorry to alarm everyone.
应该只是我反应过度了
I think I was probably just overreacting,
因为我体内住着个外星人呢
because there's an alien inside of me!
天啊
Oh, my God.
-快停下 -我去打电♥话♥
- Oh, close it down. - I am definitely gonna call.
系统全面衰竭系统全面衰竭
All systems down. All systems down.
-混♥蛋♥ -怎么了
- Son of a bitch. - What's the matter?
你说呢他在玩我的台球
He's playing on my pool table, that's what.
大概还给自己倒了杯好酒
Probably got himself a nice drink too.
你要去哪杰
Where you going, Jay?
-我就出去看看 -算了吧
- Just to check things out, okay? - Come on.
听见没他又开始乱动我的遥控器了
You hear that? Now he's messing around with my remote control.
这么远你怎么听得见
You can't hear that from here!
嘿老弟
Hey, there.
杰对不起吵醒你了吗
Hey, Jay. Listen, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?
没有我本来睡得就浅
No. No, I'm a light sleeper.
-年纪大了就这样 -你才不老呢
- That's what happens when you get older. - Oh, you're not old.
我没说我老
I didn't say I was old.
我本来也不怎么睡
I never sleep much anyway.
凌晨两点以后生活才精彩得多
Life is just more interesting after 2:00 A.M.
美酒更香醇
You know, the liquor tastes better,
女人更美丽
the, uh, women are more beautiful.
他们怎么说来着
What is it they say?
夜晚是属于诗人与疯子的
That the night belongs to the poets and the madmen.
-你是哪个 -也许两个都是
- Which are you? - Perhaps both.
我感觉你也一样是吧
And I think maybe you too, huh?
我看到那边你骑着摩托车的照片了
I see a picture over here of you on a motorcycle.
-你喜欢骑摩托车吗 -曾经
- You ride? - I used to.
曾经曾经
Used to? Used to?
杰
Jay,
全世界语言中最伤感的词莫过于此了朋友
the saddest words in any language, my friend.
嘿你给我说说
Hey, help me out here.
大家都觉得你很了不起
Everybody sees you as this great guy.
过着到处冒险的精彩生活
You know, you live this life of adventure.
我怎么一个字都不信呢
How come I don't buy a word of it?
我看见的只是个爽约的父亲
All I see is a dad who doesn't show up.
曼尼了解我我是活在当下的人
Hey, Manny knows me. I live in the now.
我的当下就是昨天
Well, I was living in the yesterday
曼尼坐在门口哭泣
when Manny was crying outside that door...
因为你第十次爽约
cause you didn't show up for the 10th time.
你觉得我没来
And when I don't come, you think,
是因为我在别处花天酒地
uh- what, I'm just off chasing a good time, hmm?
你有没有想过我来这里也很不好受
You ever think it might be hard for me, coming here?
为什么因为歌♥洛莉亚吗
Why? Because of Gloria?
因为你
Because of you.
小卡
Cam!
好了他们马上就来
Okay, they're on their way.
孩子们围过来
Okay, kids, gather around.
像拥抱我的样子但别碰我
Like you're hugging me, but don't touch me, okay?
听着我会没事的
Now look, I'm gonna be fine.
我们知道爸爸
We know, Dad.
我们可不知道
We don't know that.
我能站起来就是个奇迹了
It's a miracle I'm standing up.
但是万一天有不测
But look, in case anything happens-
我希望你们明白如果我有时间
I want you to know that if I'd had time,
肯定早把楼梯修好了
I would have fixed that step.
-爸爸谢谢你 -我爱你
- Thanks, Dad. - I love you.
卢克别哭我没事
Don't cry, Luke. I'm okay.
我把茶几打碎了
I broke the coffee table!
没关系
That's okay.
什么
What?
打碎玻璃茶几的是我
I broke the glass coffee table.
可你当时发誓不是你干的
The one you swore you didn't break,
我们因此怪罪艾斯贝兰斯把她开除了
and then we blamed Esperanza and fired her...
害的她在感恩节偷了只火鸡给家里
and she stole a turkey at Thanksgiving for her family
结果被驱逐出境了
and got deported?
-是 -该死
- Yeah. - Damn it!
-我很抱歉 -你会受到惩罚的
- I'm sorry. - You will be sorry!
-他们到了 -真的吗
- They're here! - Really?
你听到了吗
Did you hear that?
卢克打碎了
Luke broke the-
你换衣服了
Hey, you changed your clothes.
我不换衣服怎么见人啊
Well, I had- I had to get dressed.
换了件这么性感紧身的
Into that sexy, clingy-
天啊是给那些消防员看的
Oh, my God. It's the firemen.
不是的亲爱的
No, sweetie.
还擦了口红
And lipstick!
我正在剧烈疼痛中煎熬
I'm out here convulsing in agony
你还有心思找漂亮衣服
and you're looking for cute tops to wear?
我就随手拿了一件
I just threw on the first thing I could find.
我们还有时间如果你还想换条紧身裤
We got a minute, if you wanna try on some tighter jeans-
菲尔亲爱的
Oh, Phil, sweetie.
不不管怎么说克莱尔
Oh, no. By all means, Claire,
你当然得以最性感火♥辣♥的面貌
we want you looking your sexiest...
来迎接那些健壮基情的消防员
when the hunky, gay firemen get here!
-怎么样 -很好
- How we doing? - We're great.
-他是说我 -好吧
- He meant me! - All right.
卡梅隆
Cameron!
听我说杰你是个强劲的对手
No, listen, Jay. You're a tough guy to compete with.
看看你拥有的这一切吧
I mean, look at all you have.
你因此只好让曼尼伤心吗
So Manny has to suffer?
不你是对的
No. You're right.
我以后会更加努力的
Look, I'm going to try harder.
但也许他同时有我们两个父亲是好事
But maybe it's a good thing that he has the two of us.
从你身上他可以学到沉稳
From you, he learns stability.
而从我身上他可以学到随性
From me, he learns how to be spontaneous,
掐住命运的咽喉
grab life by the throat.
我们有时候也会有掐住别人喉咙的冲动
Well, we do a little throat grabbing ourselves around here, you know.
我们之前正打算去红花餐厅结果你突然出现了
We were on our way to Benihana when you showed up.
只要我儿子能追逐他的梦想就行了
Hey, as long as my boy follows his passion.
我这辈子做的最烂的职业决定
The worst career decision I ever made
就是去打棒球但我无时无刻不在享受
was playing baseball, but I loved every minute of it.
你打过棒球
You played baseball?
看家本事
I lived baseball.
只打进了三A联盟
I only made it to Triple-A,
三A联盟是美国职棒最高等级的小联盟
但我跟索萨麦圭尔他们都一起打过球
but I played with all those guys- Sosa, McGwire.
你看起来也打过的样子
You look like you played some.
我高中的时候打过
I played in high school.
我打得还行但从来没击中过曲线球
I was all right. Never hit a curve ball.
所以那就是你的梦想吗
So that's a dream of yours?
击中曲线球
To- To hit a curve?
曾经是