摩登家庭
Modern Family S01E13
Part 3
Dec. 3, 2019, 1:39 p.m.
说真的 克莱尔
Seriously, Claire,
砸烂了遥控器 你总得给我道声歉吧
you owe me an apology for breaking that.
行 菲尔
Okay. Phil,
我很抱歉砸烂了世上最差劲的
I apologize for breaking the world's worst remote...
你一时糊涂而买♥♥的遥控器
that you bought... stupidly.
不好意思
Excuse me,
它可是被科技咨♥询♥网的专家评为最佳遥控器
but the experts at CNET.Com rated it the best remote.
给了三个半鼠标呢
They gave it three and a half mice.
我有个好主意 我们把科技网的砖家
Wow. I have an idea. Let's invite the gang from CNET over...
还有你那些啦啦队同仁们请来
and your old buddies from cheerleading,
开个书呆子派对吧
and we can have a nerd party.
林才不是书呆子
Ling is not a nerd.
他自己造了架直升机
He built his own helicopter.
如果他现在还健在
And if he was alive today-
亲爱的 我们不说林了
Sweet pea, let's not talk about Ling.
一提到他你就难过
It upsets you too much.
-知道我要干什么吗 -什么
- You know what I'm gonna do? - Hmm?
我要去买♥♥个一模一样的遥控器回来
I'm gonna buy a new remote- the same remote.
为了证明你错的有多离谱
And just to prove how wrong you are,
我要在20分钟内
I'm gonna teach our dumbest kid
教会我们最傻的孩子怎么用
how to use it in 20 minutes or less.
-我们最傻的孩子是谁 -卢克
- Who's our dumbest kid? - Luke.
卢克 不行 卢克很懂电器
Luke? No, Luke understands electronics.
海莉
Haley.
-不 -没错 海莉
- No. - Yeah, Haley.
教会海莉怎么用 我就道歉
Teach Haley to use the remote, and then I'll apologize.
-海莉 -没错
- Haley? - Mm-hmm.
拜托
Come on!
嘿 小短 是我
Hey, Shorty, it's me.
我打算去高尔夫球场
I was thinking of heading over to the driving range
挥几杆子
and hitting a few balls.
要不要一起
You want to join me?
好主意 杰 我该穿什么好呢
That's great, Jay. What should I wear?
我怎么知道 想穿什么穿什么
I don't know. Wear- Wear whatever you want.
天啊 我的天啊
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
-怎么了 -那束花
- What? - The flowers.
看起来好多了 真是人间惨剧
They look so much better! This is a disaster.
你知道"惨剧"是什么意思吧
You do know what "Disaster" means, right?
你不懂 我要求他们过来换一束
You don't understand. I demanded that they come exchange them.
还对那花店狂发了顿飚
I got all medieval on the florist.
小卡 我听见你讲电♥话♥了
Cam, I heard you on the phone.
你只是说你不满意 那怎么算发飙呢
You said you were displeased, but that's hardly going medieval.
不好意思 我说的是"非常不满意"
Excuse me. I said "Very displeased."
用的还是我的牛仔音 所以...
And I used my cowboy voice, so-
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
我微波一下 花就蔫了
I'm microwaving them so they look bad again.
你走火入魔了吧
Well, that seems a little crazy, doesn't it?
不好 是花店的人
Oh, no! That's the florist.
淡定 把花拿出来 我去应门
Relax. Just take them out. I'll get the door.
他看不出来的
He'll never know the difference.
嗨 我是花店的
Hi. Florist.
-请进 花在他那儿呢 -你好
- Yes. Come on in. He's over there with the flowers. - Hello.
我不知道发生了什么事
I don't know what happened.
这些花看起来蔫头耷脑的
They just, uh, somehow lost their vigor.
-我们一到家就这样了 -小卡 小卡
- They were like this when we came home. - Cam. Cam.
天啊天啊
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
我的神啊 老天啊
Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Oh, my God!
老天 老天
God, God!
瞧瞧 我的脸也羞愧得跟火烧过一样
Look at that. Two things flaming at once.
该死
Damn it!
-你知道你问题在哪吗 -在哪
- You know what the problem is. - What?
你没有灵活运用臀部 太僵硬了
You're not moving your hips. They're frozen.
臀部
Hips?
对 你的臀部 太僵硬了 我教你
Yeah, your hips. They're frozen. Here, let me show you.
-别麻烦了 -别跟我争了
- No, it's okay. - No, no. - Don't fight me.
好吧 小短
All right, Shorty.
向后挥杆 来 这样
Just bring the club back. Go ahead. All right?
然后屁♥股♥转过来 没错 放松就行了
Now turn those hips. That's it. You just gotta relax.
两腿站开点
You gotta open up the stance a little bit.
打开 打开
Spread 'em. Spread 'em.
就这样 如果不放松
That's it. If you don't relax,
你那一杆永远挥不得劲
you're never gonna get that shaft where it belongs.
不如我们去喝杯咖啡休息下吧
Hey, you know what? How about a coffee?
-走 喝咖啡去 -行
- Let's get a coffee. - Sure.
按下"功能"键
Now press the button labeled "Activities."
-在哪呢 -就在右侧 右侧
- Where is that? - It's just to the right. - To the right.
-然后选择"观看DVD" -什么
- And now choose "Watch DVD." - What?
亲爱的 专心点 我们只有20分钟
Honey, you gotta focus. We've only got 20 minutes.
假装 假装商场要关门了
Pretend- Pretend the mall's closing.
老爸 这也太傻了
Dad, this is stupid.
我都是用电脑看电视的
I watch TV on my computer.
我♥干♥嘛要学这个
Why do I have to learn this?
因为你妈觉得你学不会
Because your mom doesn't think you can.
谁来也学不会啊
Nobody can.
海莉 听我说
Haley, listen to me.
听我说
Listen to me.
我知道听起来似乎不可能
I know this seems impossible.
但是想想有多少次
But this is for all those times
妈妈告诉你她是对的
that Mom told you she was right...
但你心里很清楚她是错的
and you knew she was wrong.
-我会尽全力 -乖女儿
- I'll do it. - That's my girl.
那男的杆挥的不错
You know, that guy's got a beautiful stroke.
瞧瞧那裤子 一点褶都没有 我喜欢
Look at his pants- no pleats. I like pants like that.
你觉得我撑得起来那样的裤子吗
You think I can get away with something like that?
有什么撑不起来的
Sure. Why not?
小短 我们是老交情了
Listen, Shorty, uh, we know each other a long time, right?
-有30年了吧 -对
- What, 30 years? - Yeah.
我感觉你心里藏了个秘密
And, um, I sense that you got a secret...
那个秘密让你痛苦不堪
that's maybe causing you a lot of anguish.
你听说了什么 是不是
You heard something, right?
我儿子米奇尔也曾经这样
Well, I had the same situation with my son, Mitchell.
是吗
Really?
是 而我处理得不是很好
Yeah, and I didn't handle it too well either.
我只是想告诉你
And, uh, I just want you to know
你可以随时对我敞开心扉
that you can open up to me,
我会不余遗力地帮助你的
that I'm gonna do all I can to help you.
我...
Well, I mean I-
我从来没对任何人说过
I never said this out loud before to anyone.
但我觉得 要说也只能是对你了
But I guess, if I did, it would be you.
就是 杰 其实 我...
It's just that, Jay, you see, I'm, uh-
我...
I'm-
说出来吧 说出来吧
Go ahead. Yeah. Go ahead.
-我欠债了 -什么
- I'm in debt. - Huh?
我向赌场庄家借了两万 他是个狠角色
I owe a bookie 20 G's, and he's a serious guy.
现在有你雪中送炭 真是太好了
And you offering to give me the dough- This is beautiful.
-等会 你不是同性恋 -同性恋
- Wait a minute. You're not gay? - Gay?
你说什么呢 什么同性恋
What are you talkin' about- gay?
我才不是呢 你从哪看出来的
I'm not gay. Where'd you get gay?
拜托 瞧瞧你
Come on. I mean, you're always
一天到晚不停地说衣服
talking about clothes and everything, right?
我父亲是个裁缝 我喜欢服饰
My father was a tailor. I like clothes.
那又怎么样
So what?
你是在说我父亲是同性恋吗
Are you calling my father gay?
不是
No!
如果当年没有我父亲登陆诺曼底
My father landed on Normandy
你还不知道在哪混呢
to save your ass.
要不是看在你借我两万块的份
You know, if you weren't lending me 20 G's,
我现在肯定揍得你满地找牙
I'd knock you out right now.
支票行吗
Take a check?
现金更好
Cash would be better.
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