摩登家庭

Modern Family S01E15

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:39 p.m.

我呕心沥血
pouring my core beliefs
写出了自己最棒的讲稿
into the greatest speech that I will ever write,
但一切努力却付诸东流
and then that moment gets taken away.
老弟情况如何
Hey, buddy. How'd it go?
我做不来德卡斯在那儿呢
I can't do it, not while Durkas is there.
他有种天生的自信我对他又敬又怕
He has the natural confidence. I admire it and fear it.
我们会搞定他的我们得计划一下
We will deal with him directly. We need a plan.
你敢再戏剧化一点吗
Could you be more dramatic?
我们得计划一下
We need a plan.
在俄勒冈州
In Oregon,
立法♥会♥颁布了一项法令
the state legislature ratified a, uh, bill...
规定从今往后
that from now on
人和动物发生性关系将被视为犯罪
it is a crime to have sex in Oregon with a farm animal.
俄勒冈的女人是有多丑啊
How ugly are the women in Oregon?
杰他太逗了
He's funny, Jay.
对啊没说错吧
I know. See?
-我看得出来你肯定不是从俄勒冈来的 -不是
- I can tell you're not- you're not from Oregon. -No.
-你美极了 -谢谢
- You are gorgeous. - Thank you.
谢谢你带你♥爸♥爸来看我表演
Thank you for bringing your father to the show.
不对我是她丈夫大卫
Oh, no. I'm her husband, Dave.
-没开玩笑吧 -没呢
- No kidding. - Yeah.
和他结婚的感觉如何啊
What's it like to be married to someone
那家伙估计和《圣经》一样老了吧
who was there when the Bible was written?
你们那时候叫什么就叫《箴言录》吗
What was it called then? Just "The Testament"?
真是真是有意思
That's, uh- That's- That's good stuff.
现在他就想关灯睡觉了
Oh, now he's trying to turn out the light.
有电♥话♥找您在那边
Phone call. Over there.
-喂 -喂您好
- Hello? - Uh, yes. Hello.
-是德卡斯先生吗 -是我
- Mr. Durkas? - Yeah.
我是唐·卓立
This is Don Jolly...
我是"美奶昔"公♥司♥的
with the Great Shakes corporate office,
我有个好消息告诉您
and I have good news for you.
您被抽中参与我们的调查
You have been selected to take part in a random survey...
而且您将获得现金奖励
that you could win cash and prizes.
您有兴趣参加我们的活动吗
Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?
好啊当然
Yeah, sure.
好的我们只是问您几个小问题
Okay, just a few simple questions for you.
您能否根据自己的喜好
Would you please rank your favorite ice creams
把美奶昔的冰激凌排一下序
at Great Shakes from least favorite to favorite?
我其实也不太熟悉产品
I don't know 'em by heart.
您右手边应该就有一本菜单
There should be a menu right there to your right.
在你右边好了开始吧
To your right. Mm-hmm. There you go.
你好曼尼
Oh. Hi, Manny.
你好菲奥娜我能坐下吗
Hi, Fiona. Can I join you?
-可以吧 -谢谢
- I guess so. -Thanks.
你不必担心他会出轨那是肯定的
And you don't have to worry about him cheating. That's for sure.
如果他出轨了你肯定会发现的
Because if he does, you'll catch him...
因为他回家时嘴里肯定有两副假牙
when he comes home with two sets of teeth in his mouth.
是啊
Yeah.
给我们说说他在新婚之夜表现如何
So tell me, on the wedding night, what-what did he do?
他是不是说想换个舒服的做♥爱♥姿势
Did he say he wanted to change into something comfortable
然后就一睡不起了
and go into a coma?
-我想去去洗手间 -别去嘛
- Listen, I gotta use the men's room. - Nuh-uh.
我必须去一趟马上就回来
I gotta use the men's room. I'll be right back.
你要去哪儿等会儿
Where you going? Wait a minute.
我只是开玩笑的我就是干这个的
I'm only joking. That's what I do.
你比我可年轻多了
You know, you're way younger than I am.
你只是看着显老
You just don't look it.
克里夫我有点儿小东西给你
Clive, I have a little something for you.
是什么
What is it?
我的裙子
My dress.
-我的胸罩 -我的天
- My bra. - Oh, my g-
我的小内内
My underwear.
-我的天 -嗯嗯
- My God. - Yeah.
要不我们拿着这些上楼去吧
What do you say we take this upstairs?
这比吃意大利菜好太多了
This is so much better than cheesy garlic bread.
-巧克力味 -好的继续
- Chocolate. - Uh-huh. Go on.
-香草味 -我正记着呢
- Vanilla. - I'm taking copious notes.
您继续说德卡斯先生
Keep goin', Mr. Durkas.
如果诗不是泰德写的他为什么骗人呢
So, why would Ted say he wrote the poem if he didn't?
也许是因为你是校花
Maybe because you're the cutest girl in school,
而且你回眸一笑就倾国倾城
and you have a laugh that makes science lab seem like recess.
那你愿不愿意
Would you be more or less inclined
去"美奶昔"公♥司♥做客
to visit a Great Shakes establishment...
如果你事先知道你的愿望都会被满足
if you knew your satisfaction was guaranteed?
-真是个傻♥逼♥问题 -不好意思
- That's a dumb question. - Excuse me.
我这问题不傻♥逼♥ 先生
It is not a dumb question, Mr. -
-该死他挂了 -那你不必装那口音了
- Tarnation! He hung up. - Then you can drop the accent.
迪尔加多你在这儿干嘛
Delgado. What are you doing here?
在讨论诗歌♥呢你想背诵一下你的作品吗
Discussing poetry. Maybe you'll like to recite some of yours.
我才不背什么东西呢
I'm not gonna recite anything.
承认吧那首诗根本不是你写的
Just admit you didn't write the poem.
我不知道他在说什么
I don't know what he's talking about.
赶紧滚蛋别逼我揍你一顿
Get out of here before you get your butt kicked.
-我要过去一下 -不我来吧
- I'm going over there. - No, I got this.
喂喂先生先生转回去
Whoa! Whoa, sir! Sir? Turn around.
先生你无权
Sir, you have no right
把他人的作品据为己有
to claim ownership of another person's work.
你算老几
Who are you?
我是个律师
I'm a lawyer.
你还有律师啊
You have a lawyer?
你说谎是一回事
It is one thing to lie,
但你竟然接着又欺负这位年轻人简直不可饶恕
but then to bully this young man- it's unforgivable.
这就是当今世界的不公平
And this is what's wrong with the world today.
大块头
The big guy...
自以为能凌驾于小家伙之上
thinks that he can roll right over the little guy...
直到小家伙说"够了"
until the little guy says, "Enough."
而那正是这位小家伙要做的
And that's what this little guy's doing-
就在此时此刻
right here, right now.
能别再叫我"小家伙"了吗我还不算矮的呢
Can we stop calling me "Little guy"? I'm in the 40th percentile.
嘘看我的吧
Shh. I got this.
泰德·德卡斯显然没有写那首诗
Ted Durkas clearly did not write that poem.
我清楚他心里也清楚
I know it. He knows it.
你好好问问自己菲奥娜
Deep down in your heart, Fiona-
你一定也清楚
You know it too.
可耻啊
Shame!
好吧随便了我是偷了他的傻♥逼♥诗
Fine! Whatever. I stole his stupid poem.
-你偷的 -我就说嘛
- You did? - I told you.
认罪吧
There you go.
我这么做是因为我有此深情
I only did it because I had the feelings,
我只是不知道如何向你表达
I just didn't know how to show 'em.
真的吗从来没人对我做如此甜蜜的事
Really? That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.
开什么玩笑啊
You've gotta be kidding me.
-走吧这妞儿是个二♥逼♥青年 -绝对的
- Let's get out of here. This chick's crazy. - Seriously.
我从没见过你如此霸气啊
I've never seen you like that.
你无法想象那种感觉有多爽
You have no idea how good that felt.
情人节快乐律师先生
Well, happy Valentine's Day, counselor.
我们发展得真快啊朱莉安娜
This is all happening so fast, Juliana.
是啊而且我午夜之前必须赶回家陪老公
I know, and I have to be home to my husband by midnight.
哟纠结的剧情
Ooh, a twist.
菲尔菲尔我的外套卡住了
Phil! Phil, my coat is stuck.
-菲尔是谁 -不别闹了认真点儿
- Who's Phil? - No, not now! Seriously.
-我的外套卡住了 -宝贝快把外套脱掉
- My coat is stuck. - Oh, oh. Honey, take off your coat!
-开什么玩笑啊快拔 -我的天啊
- Are you kidding me? Pull it. - Oh, my goodness.
快拔用力用力
Pull it. Come on. Come on.
天呐这回完了这回完了
Oh, boy. Not good. Not good.
好了好了好了
Okay. Okay. Okay.
快上来吧就当是爬楼梯了
Come on up. Treat 'em like they're regular stairs.
-没事了 -快过去吧
- It's okay. - Come on through.
情人节快乐您真美
Happy Valentine's Day. You look lovely.