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Modern Family S01E01

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:38 p.m.

let the eyes do the work.
你嘴上说着没问题
Your mouth might be saying, "Hey, we cool,"
可你的眼神说才怪
but your eyes are like, "No, we not."
很高兴见到你才怪
"Nice to meet you." "No, it's not."
挺不错嘛
"It's all good."
才怪
"No, it's not."
-我看你俩已经 -等一下
- Okay, I see you two guys- - Wait, wait, wait.
你们俩
You two-
你俩要坦诚相待懂吗小子
You two keep it real, know what I mean, son?
不太懂
Not really.
-求求你别说了 -没事
- Please, stop. - That's cool.
-妈呀我的背 -亲爱的
- Ow. Oh, God! That's my back. - Oh, honey. Sweetheart.
我被婴儿油滑倒了
Ow! Oh! I slipped in the baby oil.
你哪儿冒出来的啊
"Oh, where you from originally?"
单挑的话我轻而易举就能放倒你
"I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation."
我不知道该怎么办要打电♥话♥叫医生吗
I don't know about this. Should I call a doctor?
不用不用好了
No, no, no, no, no. Okay.
-小样儿挺强壮的啊 -谢谢夸奖
- You're very strong, homes. - Thanks.
-好轻轻放下我 -好了
- Okay. Nice- Nice soft landing. - There you go.
-行了我们走吧 -我还侧躺着
- Okay, let's go. Come on. - I am on my side though.
现在只需把我放平就没事了
So just flip me right back, and we're good.
就没事了
We'll be good.
只需要把我翻过来就行
I just need to get flipped right on my back,
就没事了
and we should be fine. So-
布兰达·费尔曼
Brenda Feldman.
-你拿的什么 -我为布兰达·费尔曼写的诗
- What is that? - A poem I have written for Brenda Feldman.
不用想也知道
Of course it is.
我将心事化为文字将文字用于行动
I put my thoughts into words and now my words into action.
你取消行动的话我就给你50块钱
Hey, I'll give you 50 bucks not to do this.
我才11岁而已要那么多钱干什么
I'm 11 years old. What am I gonna do with money?
你这年纪要16岁的花姑娘又能干什么
What are you gonna do with a 16-year-old?
-他就像个斗牛士 -你见过斗牛吗
- He's like a bullfighter. - Mmm. You ever see a bullfight?
我看不下去了 -我知道你心情不好
I can't watch this. - You're in such a bad mood.
我也知道原因因为那人以为你是我爸爸
And I know why. It's because that man thought you were my father.
-不是的 -就是
- No. - Yes.
-不是 -你这样否认时就代表是
- No. - When you say "No" like that, it's always "Yes."
别这样我们都到商场了
Come on. We're in the mall.
给你买♥♥点年轻的衣服吧
Let's get you, like, some younger clothes.
-那边有家店 -我不需要年轻的衣服
- There's a store there. - I don't need any younger clothes.
我也不在乎那些
And I don't care what some jackass
穿着破牛仔裤的混♥蛋♥如何看我
in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.
没错你不用在乎他们
Good. You shouldn't.
你只要在乎我的想法就行了
You should only care what I think.
我爱你我不在意你的年纪
I love you, and I don't care how old you are.
所以别郁闷了对曼尼也别那么凶
So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny.
我对曼尼严格只是因为
The only reason I'm hard on Manny...
我不想让他出洋相
Is just because I don't wanna see him make a fool of himself.
我从这儿都能闻到他的发胶味了
And I can smell that hair goo of his from here.
我不知道他那里会发生什么
Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there.
可你是他的家人这就意味着
But you're his family now, and that means only one thing-
你只可背后送春风不可当面唾其脸
You be the wind in his back, not the spit in his face.
-啥玩意 -这是我妈常挂嘴边的话
- What? -It's something my mom always says.
用西班牙语说很华丽的
It's gorgeous in Spanish.
瞧他来了
Look, he's there.
-她名花有主了 -真遗憾小宝贝
- She has a boyfriend. - Oh, I'm sorry, mi nino.
我把心献给了她
I gave her my heart,
她却还了一幅把我画成老式警长的图
she gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff.
-我真傻是吧 -才不是呢小宝贝
- That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it? - No, mi amor.
你是勇气可嘉对吧杰勇气可嘉
It was brave. Right, Jay? Brave.
下次你就会进步了
W-Well, you'll know better next time.
来我们买♥♥椒盐卷去
Come on. Let's get a pretzel.
没事我挺喜欢这画的
Mentira. A me se me gusta.
先生不好意思
Uh, excuse me, sir.
在商场散步锻炼的人必须靠右边走
We ask that all mall-walkers stay to the right.
艾丽克斯出去妈妈你看她
Alex, get out! Mom!
艾丽克斯别去烦你姐姐
Alex, leave your sister alone.
我只是进去拿我的书而已至于吗
I was just getting my book. Gosh.
我知道亲爱的可你要尊重个人隐私
I know, sweetie. But you need to respect their privacy.
-他们在楼上干嘛呢 -没干嘛
- What are they doing up there? - Nothing.
躺在她床上并肩看电影
Lying on her bed, watching a movie.
很好很好
Okay. Okay.
我在为今晚的聚餐准备蛋糕
Um, I'm making a cake for tonight.
你想帮我做糖霜吗
You wanna help me with the frosting?
好啊
Sure.
要是海莉怀孕了
So, you know, if Haley got pregnant,
你会假装她得了腮腺炎请假在家
would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months,
然后告诉别人那孩子是你的吗
and then, like, tell everyone the baby's yours?
-什么 -有个高中生请了4个月病假
- What? - This senior at school was "Out sick" for four months,
可吉娜·瑞斯尼克发誓说看到她
but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding
在自助洗车站给孩子喂奶
at a coin-op car wash.
老弟你穿了多少衣服啊
Buddy, what are you wearing?
-没穿多少 -把外套脱了
- Nothing. - Uh-uh. No jacket.
只能戴一顶帽子
One hat.
你穿了几条内♥裤♥啊
How many pairs of underwear do you have on?
就1条
One.
是6条
Six.
首先看海莉怀孕变胖还蛮爽的
First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat.
更酷的是
And how awesome would it be
多了个假弟弟实际上是我亲外甥
to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew.
海莉才不会怀孕
Haley is not getting pregnant.
-我只是说假如 -我知道
- Just saying "If." - I know.
我知道你喜欢找你姐的茬儿
And I know you like to make trouble for your sister,
不过这次不管用了
but it's not gonna work this time.
知道为啥吗因为你姐是个好女孩
You know why? 'Cause your sister's a good girl.
我明白因为她和我当年一模一...
I know. I was just like her when I was-
要知道我也不想这么做
I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this.
可你得吸取这个教训
But this is an important lesson that you're learning.
所以记好了记住了
So, soak it. Keep it.
你站太近了这样会很疼的
You're too close. It's gonna hurt.
就是要你疼
It's supposed to hurt.
-你干嘛贱贱地笑 -我笑了吗
- And why are you smiling? - I'm- What?
算了我下不了手
Oh, forget it. I can't do this.
就是要让你害怕你已经学到教训了
The point is you're scared. I think you've learned your lesson.
妈你干什么啊
Mom! What are you doing?
我是来放洗好的衣服
Oh, hey! I was just, um, dropping off some laundry.
-打扰到你们了吗 -当然
- Is this a bad time? - Yeah.
那我走好了
Oh. Okay.
你能把门带上吗
Uh, can you shut the door, please?
我们还是让门开着吧
Actually, we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open.
为啥
Why?
因为这种场景我见多了
Because I have, uh, seen this little show before-
和高大的学长共卧一塌
Lying on the bed with a tall senior.
上一秒还只是一起看《鹰冠庄园》的朋友
One minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest,
下一秒你们就钻进游戏桌下
and the next you're lying underneath the air hockey table
宽衣解带了
with your bra in your pocket.
妈妈
Mom!
-你打到我的骨头了 -纯属意外
- You hit my bone! - It was an accident!
-我以为你是我哥们呢 -我是啊
- I thought you were my friend! - I am your friend.
爸爸你必须和妈妈谈谈
Dad! Dad, Dad. You have got to talk to Mom.
她简直是疯了而且丢尽了我的脸
She is, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!
宝贝你妈是不像你♥爸♥那么通情达理
Honey, your mom isn't always as cool about things as-
这玩意怎么回事啊
What is with this thing?
我爸
My dad.
我爸对这事还是不太习惯
Uh, my dad still isn't completely comfortable with this.
已经过了5年了他还是无法完全接受
Um- He-He still does this thing. It's been five years now.
每次他要进入我和小卡在的房♥间时
And he still does this thing where he announces himself...
他都会先喊一声
before walking into any room we're in...
以防撞见我和小卡亲嘴
just to make sure he doesn't have to ever see us kiss.
要是我妈也有这个习惯就好了
Wish my mother had that system.
-还记得吗 -以后再说
- Remember? - Not now.
我真不敢相信你这么对我