摩登家庭

Modern Family S01E11

Part 4 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:39 p.m.

and, uh, they understood.
你知道不我才不要在这里被冷嘲热讽
You know what? I don't need to sit here and be condescended to.
我去弄杯冰红茶
I'm gonna make myself an ice tea.
信不信我抽你
I will bring you down.
就你别逗了
You can't bring me down.
我会扫堂腿
I'll sweep your legs.
你绝对不是正常人
There's something wrong with you...
我们家闺女如此痛苦抑郁地哭喊
that the sound of our child in such distress
居然扰不了你半根神经
doesn't bother you more.
她才不抑郁呢而且
She's not in distress,
此事恰恰证明你比她更需要费伯睡眠法
and this just proves that you need this more than she does.
我得用此法锻炼两个宝宝
I'm Ferberizing two babies.
前几天有浣熊溜进劳森家
Raccoons slipped into the lawsons' home
偷了一长条面包
and stole a loaf of bread.
你想说什么
Your point?
你想想莉莉房♥间窗户开了道缝
That we left Lily's window open a crack,
浣熊要找些小菜做个三明治
and those raccoons need something to put between that bread,
然后莉莉就哭着喊救命了
and that is Lily's "Help me" Cry.
-熊妈妈来救你了莉莉 -你敢
- I'm coming for you, Lily. - No, you're not.
你不准去卡梅隆
You are not coming, Cameron.
让我去嘿你撒手
Let me go! Hey, stop it!
放开我下来你干什么
Let go! Get off me! What are you doing?
-停下 -我不停
- Stop! - I will not stop.
别淘气了宝宝我来了
Stop being such a baby. I'm coming for you!
-咋了 -脚崴了
- What? - Oh, my ankle.
脚崴了
My ankle.
我还以为你会从摩托车上摔死呢
Ay! I guess you didn't kill yourself in the motorcycle today.
我知道你恨不得亲手杀了我
Well, I figured you were looking forward to killing me,
我怎么能驾车归西让你愿望落空呢
so I'm not gonna take that away from you.
那个哈维尔打给你了没
Hey, did Javier call you?
没有啊怎么了
No, why?
他要拉我去酒吧会会他的老球友
He's dragging me to this bar with some of his old baseball pals.
说好5点这边见的
He was supposed to be here at 5:00.
-他拉着你啊 -没错
- Ah, he's dragging you, huh? - Yeah.
我觉得没什么不妥的
I figured it would be okay.
我见识过当中一半的人打比赛
I've seen half these guys play.
哈维尔说没什么
Javier says it's cool.
-你笑什么 -没什么
- What? What's the joke? - Nothing.
真好笑你之前还笑话我
It's just funny to me... that you make fun of me
怎么会被他那样的人勾去了魂
because I was seduced by him,
但你现在...
but here you are-
我才没有被他勾去了魂
No one is getting seduced.
我这么做都是为了曼尼
I'm doing this for Manny.
对哦你们俩去山上浪漫地野餐
Yeah, it's very important for Manny
对曼尼来说是多么滴重要啊
that you two go and have a nice picnic in the mountains.
首先那不叫野餐就喝了杯咖啡
First of all, it wasn't a picnic. We stopped for coffee.
碰巧那儿有卖♥♥煎饼果子的
They just happened to be selling crepes.
听着他打来知会我一声好吗
Listen. Let me know when he calls, all right?
天呐眨眼就6点了
Geez, it's almost 6:00.
孩子们都盼着你回家呢
The kids are so excited for you to come home.
我也想他们了
Oh, me too.
对了卢克还给你做了个标语呢
Yeah, Luke made you a sign.
-他最贴心了 -你看上去气色挺好的
- Oh, he's a sweetie. - Yeah. You seem great.
-确实感觉不错 -那就好
- I am great. - Good.
除了消防员那事
Except for that fireman thing.
-你还记着呢 -必须的
- You remember it? - Mm-hmm.
-好吧对不起 -没事啦
- Yeah, okay. Look, I am sorry. I'm so sorry. - Ah, no.
都是我的错没有借口
There's no excuse for it.
我一家庭妇女每天邋里邋遢
I think I just spend so much time in dowdy mom clothes,
身上都是面粉和花生酱
and I'm covered in paste and peanut butter,
我只想偶尔能散发点魅力懂吗
and I just- I wanted to feel attractive for a second, you know?
对不起我真的
I'm sorry. I really-
亲爱的再给我点时间释怀
Honey, I just need a little bit of time.
-我会没事的 -好吧
- Gonna be fine. - Okay.
-恩 -好吧
- Yeah. - Okay.
我早就想开了
I was already fine with it.
哥在下一盘很大的棋克莱尔搞砸了
Here's the deal: Claire messed up.
她欠我的
She owed me.
千年难得一遇的好事
This never happens.
老菲尔金牌在手啦
Old Phil has a golden ticket.
现在我可以立刻兑换些小恩惠
Now, I could have cashed that in right away for something small-
不用打扫车♥库♥ 去参加一周马戏团夏令营之类的
get out of cleaning the garage, a week at circus camp.
-记忆犹新 -知道
- Still fresh. - Yeah.
但是拖得越久她愧疚感越多
But the longer you hold on to it, the more the guilt builds,
哥得到的也就越多
the more you get.
拖五年和弟兄们去巴黎旅行
Five years: Trip to Paris with my buddies.
拖十年漂亮的敞篷车
Ten years: Sweet little convertible.
拖二十年
Twenty years:
你好啊语言表达清晰全功能的机器人
Hello, fully articulating, five-function robot...
能读懂我的思想有自主感觉
that can read my mind and has feelings.
菲尔你不是打算不辞而别吧
Phil, you're not leaving without saying good-bye, are you?
嘿伊莱恩
Hey, Elaine.
-他是你老公吗 -是啊
- Is this your husband? - Uh-huh.
-再见了巴黎 -我来探望我姐姐
- Good-bye, Paris. - I'm visiting my sister...
他一下午就在那玩魔术牌逗我们开心
and he was entertaining us all afternoon with his card tricks.
-菲尔来啦 -嘿
- Is that Phil? - Hey.
妈菲尔这就走了
Hey, Mom, Phil's leaving.
-不跟我抱抱吗 -一波又一波啊
- Without a hug? - Wow.
再见了语言表达清晰
Good-bye, fully articulating,
全功能的会说"再见"的机器人
five-function robot with the ability to- Good-bye.
布兰妮快点宝贝儿菲尔走了
Brittany, hurry, honey. Phil's leaving.
你没事的
You're fine.
-脚踝还疼吗 -拔凉的
- How's your ankle? - It's cold.
-对不起害你受伤 -别别这样
- I'm sorry I hurt you. - No. No, don't be. I-
我也可能轻易伤到你的
I could have just as easily hurt you.
好吧你倒是挺大言不惭的
Well, it's cute that you think that.
听着小卡我不想一直唱白脸
Listen, Cam, I- I can't always be the bad cop here.
我知道自己很严格
I-I know it's my issue,
但是我不希望她成长的过程中
but she can't grow up with
你一直是那个胸襟宽广温暖可人的爸爸
one huggy, happy, cuddly dad...
我却是那个死板严肃满嘴教条的爸爸
and one frowny, lesson-teachy dad.
因为我们也不知道
Because guess which one
她最后会选谁陪她走婚礼红毯
she's gonna ask to walk her down the aisle.
你说得对这样吧
Uh- Y- Okay, you know what?
我也可以适时唱唱白脸的
I can be the bad cop sometimes.
让她吃蔬菜的任务就交给我吧
I'll always make her eat her vegetables.
-行看牙医也交给你 -成交
- Okay. Dentist. - Deal.
-好的 -只要你逼她练小提琴
- Good. - As long as you make her practice her violin.
对了小提琴我喜欢
Oh, yeah. The violin. I like that.
还有到时候我们一起伴着她走红毯
And we're both walking her down the aisle.
如果你到时候还能走路的话
Assuming you can walk by then.
要去医院看看吗
Do you need to go to the hospital for that?
不了妈呀不了没那么严重
No, God. No, no. It's not that bad.
你的意思是打911吧
Oh, you meant call 911, didn't you?
性感消防员哦
Firemen.
快打电♥话♥ 我换件衣服去
Yeah, you call, and I'm gonna change my shirt.
那么如果要我有点大人样
So, if I'm supposed to act like an adult,
是让我像世上正常的大人那样
is that act like adults I see in the world-
还是像家里的这些大人
Or the adults in my family?
如果要我像家里的大人一样
'Cause if it's the ones in my family-
-走吧回去吧 -好的
- Come on. Let's go. - All right.
那么...
Then...
也没什么难的
how hard could that be?
在医院里玩的纸牌魔术
Doing the card tricks at the hospital
重燃了我的魔术之火
really got me fired up about my magic again.
这是你刚刚那张牌吗
Is this your card?
没错你真牛
Yes. Oh, my gosh.
其实并不是吧
It's- It's not, is it?
不是真不是
No, uh, no. It's not.
最虐心的就是对方自己都忘了是哪张牌
The hardest part is when people forget their card,
因为那样就显得我像个傻瓜