迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S03E02
Part 2
Dec. 15, 2020, 2:46 p.m.
Most of it's Nutella.
大部分是榛仁果酱
Mmm.
嗯
What's that you're eating under the Eiffel Tower?
你在埃菲尔铁塔下面吃什么
A fresh baguette with salami and cheese.
新鲜的法棍加香肠和奶酪
Don't let the simplicity fool you.
别被它简单的外表迷惑了
It was a game-changer.
它来头可是很大的
Is that all you did,
你去就干了这些
was walk around eating crepes and sandwiches?
到处闲逛 吃可丽饼和三明治
Of course not. It was Paris.
当然不是 这可是巴黎
Ignoring the croissants would be criminal.
忽略了牛角包简直是在犯罪
They had this one,
他们有那种
it was filled with either peach or apricot...
包着桃子或者杏子的
I got a picture somewhere.
我这有一张照片的
Man, I don't need photographic proof that you eat.
哥们 不用拿图片向我证明你吃过的东西
Your burps paint a picture all day long.
你的饱嗝把一切都交代清楚了
You know, I really didn't gain much weight, though.
你知道吗 我并没有因此而长多少肉
Cause Paris is a walking city.
因为巴黎是一座适合漫步的城市
Yeah, you just stroll
你可以沿着鹅卵石的街道
the cobblestone streets for hours.
穿梭几个小时
Must've been quite a sight, with all those food carts
肯定很不错 那些卖♥♥小吃的手推车
and stray dogs following you around.
跟着你的流浪狗
Ah, Gay Paree.
啊 色彩缤纷的巴黎
Beautiful "City of Lights."
美丽的"光之城"
I can still hear it calling my name.
我还能听见它呼唤我的名字
And it's probably saying, "Mike, your order is ready."
它也许在跟你说"Mike 你的餐好了"
What is... what is that you are eating outside of Notre Dame?
你这是..你这是在巴黎圣母院，门口吃什么
It looks like a pig's head.
看起来像是猪头
It is a pig's head.
就是猪头
Nothing goes to waste there.
在那里什么都不会被浪费
Yeah, not with you in town.
是的 因为有你在
Oh, before I forget...
哦 在我忘记之前
Thank you.
谢谢你
And thank you.
还有你
What is this?
这是什么
Thank-you cards for your thoughtful
感谢贺卡 感谢你们用心
and useful wedding gifts.
且实用的结婚礼物
Oh, no, you don't!
哦 不 你一点都不感激
I want this mailed to me.
我希望这个是寄给我的
Don't be ridiculous, just take it.
别闹了 收着吧
Hey, I sweated over finding you the perfect gift,
嘿 为了给你找适合的礼物我可是使出了吃奶的劲
and I expect to find a proper thank-you in the mailbox.
我期待在邮箱里收到你用心准备的的感谢卡
Come on, you're gonna make me go through all that?
拜托 你是要我每一封都寄吗
You poor man.
可怜的家伙
First you have to unwrap all of those gifts,
首先你要拆礼物
and now you have to lick a stamp.
现在你要舔邮票
Just pretend it's gelato.
就当它是意大利冰激凌
Oh, I didn't even show you the gelato pictures.
哦 我还没给你看意大利冰激凌的照片
Now, the setting is the Arc de Triomphe,
这是在凯♥旋♥门
the flavor is café de leche.
冰激凌是牛奶咖啡味
Hello? Did someone come home?
喂 有人回来了吗
I'm in the downstairs can,
我在楼下的卫生间里
and I'm in a bit of a pickle.
我遇到点麻烦
Come on! I heard keys jingling.
快点 我听到钥匙声了
I know it's you, Molly.
我知道是你 Molly
I smell butter rum Life Savers.
我问到了黄油朗姆酒口哨糖的味道
Damn it.
见鬼
Where's Mom? She went AWOL.
我妈去哪儿了 她去了"擅离职守"
You're all I got, Butter Rum.
我就指望你了 黄油朗姆酒
What do you need?
你要什么
Toilet paper or magazine?
手纸还是杂♥志♥
If it's toilet paper, use a magazine.
要手纸的话就用杂♥志♥解决
Please, just help me.
拜托了 帮帮我吧
All right. Here I come.
好吧 我来了
Are you decent? Yes. Hurry.
你衣着得体吗 得体 快点
This better not...
最好别...
No!
不
You are naked! You lied to me!
你光着在 你骗我
I had to.
我不得不
I'm in survival mode.
求生模式开启
Help me out of this tub. The water's ice cold.
快帮离开这浴缸 水冰冷的
Which explains why Mr. Turtle is in his shell.
这就是"龟先生"缩进壳里的原因
Shut up! Don't speak!
闭嘴 别讲话
For God's sakes, cover yourself!
看在上帝的份上 遮一下吧
Okay, the keys are under the mat.
好了 钥匙藏在垫子下面了
Marco.
马克
I know where you are.
我知道你在哪儿
Let's just get this over with.
让我适应一下
Just grab my arm and start pulling.
拉住我的胳膊把我拽出来
The minute I hit the floor,
我一碰到地板
I can walrus my way back to the couch.
就能跟海象一样爬去沙发上
Uh...
啊
Ew.
呃
Why are you so slippery?
你身上怎么这么滑
I apply conditioner to my arm hair.
我给胳膊上的汗毛上了护发素
Makes it supple.
让它更柔软
Plus, when the wind hits it,
而且 当微风吹过
it ripples like a field of wheat.
它就像麦田里泛起阵阵涟漪
All right, we're going on three.
好吧 我们数三下一起使劲
One...
一
two...
二
three... oh!
三...噢
Ow! Oh, God!
噢 噢天呐
My back! Oh, God!
我的背 噢 天呐
You're killing my back!
我的背要被你弄断了
What am I touching?!
我摸到什么了
What am I touching? Don't tell me!
我摸到什么了 不要告诉我
Don't tell me!
不要告诉我
Ow! Ow!
噢 噢
Be careful! I'm in agony here!
小心点 我背上有伤
Oh, really?
哦 是吗
'Cause I'm having the time of my life.
我一辈子都有伤了
This would be a lot easier if you oiled my fanny.
如果你给我屁♥股♥上涂点油会容易的多
For the third time, no!
我说第三遍了 不
Aah! Watch those turns!
嗷 注意转弯的地方
Ow!
嗷
Slow down!
慢点
I'm lapping my scrotum!
蹭到我蛋蛋啦
Shut up, or I'll drag you straight to the street!
闭嘴 不然我直接把你拖到大街上去
Seriously, I'm losing skin like a pencil eraser!
没开玩笑 我跟个橡皮擦一样被蹭了一层皮了
Just spray a little Pam in my crack!
就给我股沟里喷点油吧
And here is where we part ways.
好了 这就是我们分道扬镳的地方
You're gonna abandon me here in the middle of nowhere?
你打算把我扔在无人之地嘛
The couch is right here.
沙发不就在这里
Come on, dumpling, you can do it.
来吧 小团子 你能做到的
You're strong like bull.
你壮得跟头牛似地
Yeah, and you're stupid like jackass. Adios!
是啊 你蠢得跟头驴似地 再见
You're really gonna leave me here?
你真打算把我扔在这里
Yeah, that was the plan!
是的 本来就打算这样
Please,
求求你
help me back up on the couch, please.
求求你把我搬到沙发上吧
Fine!
好吧
All right, on three.
好吧 数三声
One...
一
two...
二
three, go!
三 起
Ooh! Oh, God! Oh, God!
噢 噢 天呐 噢 天呐
Ugh!
呃
Okay, this is twice... that's shame on you!
好了 这是第二次了 你个无♥耻♥的家伙
Where's my soup?
我的汤呢
I'm making it!
我在做
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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