迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S03E19

Part 3 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:52 p.m.

Blotto!
醉惨了
That's the only way I can handle your mom.
只有这样我才能应付你妈
Do you know why? Ask me why.
知道为啥不快问我
Ask me.
快问
Why? Cause she's evil.
为啥因为她是魔鬼
I think we should shave her head
我觉得我们应该给她剃个秃瓢
and start looking for sixes.
找点乐子
Were you this drunk when you got there?
你去的时候就醉成这样了么
No, she did this to me.
不是是她这样对我的
She got me drunk so I wouldn't kill her.
她把我灌醉这样我就不会杀她了
Do you know...
你知道
Do you know why?
你知道为啥不
Ask me why.
快问我
Why? 'Cause she's evil.
为啥因为她是魔鬼
Okay, look, Molly, look, come here...
好好 Molly 过来
Come on, come on...
起来起来
come on, come on.
过来过来
Come on, come on...
过来过来
I appreciate you not killing her.
我很感激你没杀了她
Well, how could I?
怎么会呢
I couldn't get a silver bullet
这么晚了我都搞不到
or a wooden stake at this time of night.
银子弹或者木棍子了
Not even... the cab driver didn't even know,
就算是出租司机说不知道
and they know everything.
其实他们什么都知道
Everything.
一切哦
Well, good.
好吧
At least you did take a cab.
至少你还叫了出租车
I had to.
我被迫的
I had seven beers and a half a cap of cough syrup.
我喝了七瓶啤酒还有半杯止咳糖浆
Ooh, I am flying.
我要飘飘欲仙了
Are... are... are you gonna be okay
你你没事吧
or you need me to take you to the bathroom?
还是我要把你弄到厕所
I'm fine. I'm good.
我没事挺好的
Walnut?
核桃要吗
I got a... I got a pocket full of them
我有我有一兜子呢
cause your mom started throwing them at my head
因为我喝第四瓶啤酒的时候你妈
by my fourth beer.
开始向我扔这个
Do you want to know why?
你想知道为啥不
Ask me why.
快问我
Cause she's evil?
因为她是魔鬼
That's what I was gonna say.
知我者莫若你
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
不要不要不要
Come on, come on...
起来起来
No, no, no, no... No!
不要不要不要
No!
不要
Made it in today, huh?
还是来了啊
I figured the way you were knocking 'em back
我想你昨晚回击的方法
last night, you'd either be
要么是烂醉如泥
laid out in a gutter or drying out in a rehab.
要么是从此戒酒
If that's for me, no, thank you.
要是给我的那就算了谢谢
Everything I put down today wants to come back up.
我昨天吃的今天全想吐出来
Give it a taste later.
过会儿尝尝
It's my first attempt at a low-cal cake.
这是我第一次试做低脂蛋糕
You know, for Mikey's birthday.
为了Mikey的生日
Look, Peggy, we tried, we failed.
Peggy 我们试了也失败了
Let's just forget about having a party.
还是不要办派对了
Listen, I know I can be a stubborn old mule,
我知道我就是个老倔驴
but Mikey's my only baby.
但Mikey是我唯一的宝
It's fine.
没事啊
No, it's not.
有事
He's your husband, and I need to be respectful of that
他是你老公我得尊重这一点
and figure out a way to share him.
还要想办法和你分享他
I think I still might be drunk.
我觉得我可能还醉着
What do you say we work together on this thing
你觉得我们共同合作
and give the boy a wonderful birthday party?
给他办个精彩的生日派对怎么样
Are you drunk?
你醉了么
Seriously, you take the lead.
真心的你来领导
I'll just be the sidekick.
我来帮忙
You're the motorcycle; I'm the sidecar.
你是摩托我是跨斗
Really?
真的么
Always wanted a daughter.
我一直想要个女儿
Lord knows I couldn't do better than a sweet gal like you.
老天知道我不是你这样的好妈妈
Sure.
好吧
And when you kids finally do bless me with a grand-baby,
等你们俩最终有幸能有孩子
which I know you will,
我知道你们会的
I want to be the best damn grandma I can be.
我想做史上最好的奶奶
I better get going
我最好在
before the waterworks start.
泪流满面之前离开
What is going on?
什么情况
Oh, the cake is probably poisoned.
没准蛋糕有毒
Really? Aw, that's great.
真的么太棒了
So you got it all worked out.
你都解决好了
See, she's not so bad.
看了吧她没那么坏
I told you, if you were the bigger person,
我告诉过你如果你大度一点
eventually, she'd come around.
最终她会回心转意的
All right, I'll see you tonight, Mom.
就这样吧晚上见妈妈
The party's back on.
又有派对了
7 o'clock, my place.
7点在我家
Hey, wait for me in the car.
去车里等我
I'm gonna pay the check.
我去买♥♥单
Since when have you ever paid for anyth...
什么时候你开始付钱了
So that explains it.
知道了
Don't tell her about your toe fungus.
不要告诉她你有脚气
I don't have toe fungus.
我没脚气
Namaste, pretty lady.
有礼了小美妞
Hello. Oh, and may I say,
你好啊我想说
I think it is very brave what you are doing.
你做的事情好勇敢哦
Oh, well, being a police officer is scary,
做一个警♥察♥很可怕的
but not as scary as a city without heroes.
但是一个城市没有英雄更可怕
No. I mean your decision
不是我是说你决定
to have sexual reassignment surgery.
要做变性手术
To become the woman you were born to be.
变成你内心与生俱来的那个女人
What the hell are you talking about?
尼玛你在说啥
Hello, Carlita.
你好 Carlita
I showed her the pictures.
我给她看了照片
That picture's from Halloween.
那是万圣节的照片
We went as Ike and Tina Turner,
我们办成了Ike和Tina Turner
and I was Tina because my legs are better.
我扮成了Tina因为我腿更美
She does have beautiful legs, completely hairless.
她真的有美♥腿♥而且无毛哦
I shaved them for Halloween.
我是为了万圣节刮的
Excuse me for committing to a costume.
这么投入于装束上我真抱歉
You don't need to be ashamed, Carlita,
你不用觉得羞愧 Carlita
as soon you will be free, after the doctor has removed
等医生摘除你痛恨的小小鸡鸡之后
that tiny penis you hate so much.
你就自♥由♥了
You're the tiny penis I hate so much.
你才是我恨的小小鸡鸡
Tina Turner, the international superstar?
Tina Turner 国际巨星
"Private Dancer"?
Private Dancer
"Proud Mary"?
Proud Mary
**I left a good job for the city. Workin' for the man*
*我辞去了城市中的好工作服侍一个男人
*Every night and day. Big wheel keep on turn...*
*日日夜夜没有停息*
Tina Turner?
Tina Turner不知道么
**Rollin'. Rollin' on the river*
*翻滚吧奔腾吧
You got to imagine me with the blond wig
你要想象金色假发
and my butt sticking out.
还有翘臀
Poor thing.
真可怜
She's been trapped in that idiot's body for so long.
她被困在这个傻缺身体里好久了
**Big wheel keep on turnin'. Proud Mary keep on burnin'*
*轮子继续滚动自豪玛丽继续燃烧
*Rollin', rollin' on the river... !*
*翻过吧奔腾吧*
Just so I'll know when he opens it,
这样他打开的时候我就知道了
what did we get the big guy?
为什么我们要那大家伙