迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S03E09

Part 3 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:50 p.m.

I'll let you dust me for prints when we're done.
我们活动完我就当你的书桌
All right, lady!
行了姑娘
I'm going down to the basement and study.
我还是去地下室看书好了
I can't be a detective and a love machine.
我不能又当性♥爱♥机器又当侦探
I can't do it! I'm just one man!
我不能一心二用我只是个男人
I only need the love machine for ten minutes!
我只需要你当10分钟的机器
Hey, sweetie, am I gonna see you tonight?
那亲爱的今晚能见到你吗
No, I got to hit the library right after work.
不行下班后我要泡在图书馆里
You've been at the library every night this week.
你已经泡了一周的图书馆了
I rarely get to see you anymore.
我都没怎么见到你了
Well, if I'm gonna be a detective,
如果我要成为侦探
I'm gonna have to study.
我就要努力看书
I know that; I just miss my husband.
我知道只是我很想念我的丈夫
Molly, if I'm gonna pass this thing, I got to study,
Molly 如果我要通过考试
and I need all my blood up here.
我就要把我的气血转移到脑子里
Well, I wouldn't mind you sending a little down south,
我也不介意你转移一点点到下面
if you know what I mean.
如果你明白我的话
Look, I told you last night was a fluke... I was tired, I had a heavy meal,
我已经说过了昨晚是个意外我很辛苦而且吃多了
I got a lot of things on my mind.
脑子里乱糟糟的
Plus, it doesn't just pop out like a lightsaber
而且你每次喊欧比旺肯诺比的时候
every time you say Obi-Wan Kenobi.
那啥也不会像光剑一样瞬间坚挺
Where the hell is Carl?
该死的 Carl到哪去了
I'm in the kitchen.
我就在厨房♥
How did you not know that, Detective?
你怎么会不知道呢侦探先生
Boy, you really been hitting the books hard lately.
小子你真是要硬生生地啃掉那本书啊
Yeah.
那是
Good to know you can hit something hard.
很高兴你还有东西能硬起来
What?
什么
Nothing.
没什么
Sorry. I'll let you bone up.
抱歉你继续为考试充血吧
'Cause I'm guessing the competition's
我想竞争对手
gonna be pretty stiff.
一定很坚挺
You done? Let's see.
你说完了吗我看看啊
Hard. Bone up. Stiff.
硬充血坚挺
Yep, I'm done.
哦我说完了
I got a lot on my mind right now.
我现在脑子里乱糟糟的
I understand.
我知道啊
And it's common for men in high-pressure situations
对一个长♥期♥承受巨大压力的
to suffer from erectile dysfunction.
男人来说阳痿很正常
I don't have erectile dysfunction!
我才没有阳痿
I get it. Your penis is prioritizing.
我懂是你的小♥弟♥弟♥在安排优先级
It's taking a little break.
它需要休息休息
You know, pause for the cause.
你懂得就像按了暂停键
Your junk is on a junket. - Carl!
小丁丁要放个假 Carl
Mm.
嗯
You know, even if you make detective, the pressure's just gonna get worse.
即使你当了侦探压力也不会变少
I'm just trying to better myself, okay?
我只是想做得更好好吗
Provide for my wife and future children.
给我的妻儿提供一个更好的未来
No, that's beautiful.
哦那挺好的
And with the added salary,
有了更多的钱
you'll have plenty of money for boner pills.
你就可以去买♥♥伟哥了
All right, we're done talking!
好了好了谈话结束
Or you can get one of those new penile implants... they're high-tech now.
或者你也可以做一次阴♥茎♥移植手术现在医术很发达的
You can inflate 'em like a bicycle tire.
你可以像给单车轮胎一样给它们充气
Can't pump it up at the gas station, though.
但是不能在加油站给它们充气
I mean, you can, but I wouldn't.
当然你也可以去要是我就不会去
Hey. Hey, honey. Dinner's almost ready.
你们好啊好啊亲爱的晚饭快好了
Not hungry. Going down to the basement to study.
我还不饿我去地下室看书了
Mike, you've got to give yourself a break once in a while.
Mike 你应该给你自己放个小假了
I'm starting to forget what you look like.
我都快不记得你到底长什么样子了
If you're having trouble with that, there are four
如果你遇上麻烦事了
distinctive features on the human face: Head shape,
通常就会有四大征兆发型
eye color, hair color and...
眼睛的颜色发色还有
Damn it, I just a read that!
妈的我刚刚还看了
I'll bring you down a sandwich later!
一会给你拿个三明治下去
Scars or tattoos!
伤疤或者刺青
Head shape, eye color, hair color,
发型眼睛的颜色发色
scars or tattoos!
伤疤或刺青
Love you! Your hard work is gonna pay off!
爱你努力终会有收获的
I believe in you!
我相信你
That poor son of a bitch is falling apart.
那可怜的男子快要精神分♥裂♥了
Mm.
那是
Yeah, he seems very distracted.
他看起来心烦意乱啊
It's probably not the best time to remind him to put the toilet seat down.
现在不是提醒他要把马桶盖放下来的好时机
Oh, is he back to that? I guess the new knowledge
哦他又那样做了我想现在
pushed the old knowledge out of his head.
是新旧知识在他脑内争鸣的关键期
Well, all I know is, last night I splashed down leke Apollo Eleven
我只知道昨晚我坐下去的时候就像阿波罗登月一样
You know, Mom, some people actually look at things
妈妈有些人坐上去之前
before they sit on them.
会认真看清楚的
Where's the fun in that?
那还有什么意思
Mike? Sweetie?
Mike 亲爱的
He's tuckered out from thinking too hard.
他思考的精疲力尽了
I made you a sandwich.
我给你做了三明治
What's going on?
这是什么情况
Nothing. Just thought you might be hungry.
没事就想着可能你饿了
I can't eat; My stomach's in knots.
我不能吃我的五脏六腑都错位了
Listen...
听着
if this test is too much for you,
如果考试对你来说压力太大
you don't have to do it.
就别考了
I am perfectly happy to be married to the best beat cop in Chicago.
嫁给芝加哥最给力的警♥察♥我已经很满足了
Well, what about the money?
那钱呢
And we're trying to get our own house and we want to have a kid,
我们正要给自己买♥♥♥房♥♥子我们还要生个孩子
and you're probably gonna make him go to college.
而且你还要让他上大学
Well, none of that is important.
如果这些会把你逼疯的话
Especially if it's gonna make you miserable.
那它们都不重要
I don't know if I can do this, Molly.
我不知道我是不是可以搞定这个 Molly
I'm reading all this stuff, and none of it's sinking in.
我把书都读完了但是什么都记不住
Honey, you have worked with detectives for years.
甜心你和侦探们并肩作战好些年了
I'll bet you know more than you think you do.
我想你其实已经了解很多了
I really don't work with them.
其实我也没跟他们并肩过
They just tell us guys in uniform to back off,
他们只是叫我们警♥察♥退后
don't step on anything and keep the crowd away.
别踩任何东西驱散人群
Well, you can do that. Yeah, I can do that
这你也会说啊是啊我也会说
but the book says we're supposed to "secure the perimeter,
但是书上说我们应该警戒周边
"establish a chain of command and preserve the integrity of the crime scene."
建立保护犯罪现场完整性的隔离带
You mean tell the regular cops to "back off,
你的意思是告诉警官们退后
don't step on anything, keep the crowds away"?
别踩任何东西驱散人群
Wait, it's the same thing, isn't it?
等等这不就是一件事吗对吧
That's what I'm hearing.
反正我听到的是这样的
So maybe if I just take what I already know and...
那么也许我只要把这些我知道的
Just apply all this technical jargon
翻译成书里的那些
that you've been reading, and...
专业名词
bim-bam-boom, you're a detective.
梆梆梆你就是侦探了
It can't be that simple.
但是不可能这么简单啊
Well, hmm, let's see.
好吧嗯那我看看
Describe one of the last calls you were on.
描述一下你上一次接到的报♥警♥电♥话♥
Uh, an old lady
呃一个老妇人
lost her cat, and I found it hiding under her housecoat.
她的猫丢了我发现猫躲在她的睡衣里
Wow, that's... tax dollars well spent.
哇这是纳税人♥民♥的钱花的值啊
Um...
嗯
okay, now-now describe it to me how a detective would.
好了现在描述一下侦探会怎么说...
Um...
呃...
after weighing the circumstantial evidence,
在各种间接证据的佐证下
I ascertained that the victim's feline property
我查明受害者的猫科动物
was located on her person.
就在受害者家中
Hello, Johnny Law!
给力啊大侦探
Son of a gun!
真他奶奶的
It's just making stupid stuff sound smart!
就是把通俗语言官方化啊
That's how the world goes round.
世界一直就是这么运转的啊
Thanks, sweetie. Well, I'll be upstairs.
谢谢你亲爱的我可以上楼了