迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S03E14

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:51 p.m.

Truthfully, I had to tear it out of his teeth.
说真的我是把披萨从他牙缝里抠出来的
Really?
真的吗
Yeah, it's like getting a sock away from a dog.
是就好比狗嘴里夺食
All right,
好吧
I think we have time for one more share.
我们还有时间再上来一位分享他的成果
I better get this over with.
我来做个了结吧
Walk of shame... I'm up four pounds.
羞耻之旅啊我胖了四磅
Stay strong.
坚持住
We can't all be winners.
我们不能都是赢家嘛
Hi. My name is Harry,
海我叫Harry
and I am an over-eater.
我是个贪吃的人
Hi, Harry.
嗨 Harry
I had a rather tumultuous week,
我这周过的相当混乱
and I'm sad to report... that I am up four pounds.
我很伤心的报告大家我胖了四磅
This is depressing.
真悲催啊
You want to get out of here?
你想走吗
It's a support group. He sat through yours.
这是个互助小组他都坐这听你讲完
Yeah, but mine was inspiring.
是但我的鼓舞人心啊
I gave these people a hero.
我给他们树立了英雄形象
Valentine's Day is a particular trigger for me.
情人节对我来说尤其是个导火索
For, on that fateful day, I gave my heart
因为在那重要的一天我把我的心
to the love of my life,
交给了我的此生挚爱
only to have her crush it like an empty Slim-Fast can.
而她却像踩扁空罐子一样碾碎了我的心
Which she could do... on her forehead, even.
她甚至只用额头就能做到
God, I loved that woman.
我爱过那个女人
See? He's losing the room.
看见没他已经失去民心了
He can't follow me.
我可以甩他几条街
I showed up at our romantic dinner
我赴约去了我们的浪漫晚餐
with a two-pound box of chocolates
带了一盒两磅重的巧克力
and a three-quarter-carat engagement ring.
和一枚3/4克拉的订婚戒指
I'm guessing it ended with she threw the ring at him
我猜结局肯定是她把戒指扔给他
and he ate the two- pound box of candy.
他吃了那盒两磅重的糖
She threw the ring at me,
她把戒指扔给我
and I ate the two-pound box of candy.
我吃了那盒两磅重的糖
I called it, right?
我说对了是吧
Get off your high horse... this man is hurting.
你别自以为是了这男人正伤心呢
That was ten years
这是十年前
and 113 pounds ago.
我比现在轻113磅时的事
As hard as it is for me to even think
我甚至连摆脱那个回忆
of putting myself out there...
都觉得十分艰难
somewhere underneath this protective layer...
我那颗隐藏在保护层下
there's still a beating heart
仍在跳动的心脏
ready to love again.
现在准备再爱一次
Grab your purse. Let's beat the traffic.
走吧避免车辆拥堵
I'll bet Harry trotted out that sob story
我打赌Harry炫耀这种苦情戏
so everyone would forget about the guy that lost 40 pounds.
就是为了让大家忘掉减了40磅的我
Mike!
Mike
Too bad stealing spotlights doesn't burn calories.
不过好可惜即使再抢镜也不会掉肉
You know, this weight loss is making you kind of a jerk.
掉几斤肉你就不知天高地厚了
Right?
是吗
You know, my heart really goes out to Harry.
我由衷的支持Harry
I get that he can be a little annoying
我知道他可能有点讨厌
and kind of a know-it-all...
像个万事通似的
And his clothes are weird and his breath is bad.
衣着奇怪还有口臭
Sometimes he forgets to wipe those little crusty things
有时他还会忘记擦掉
out from the corner of his eyes.
眼角的那些眼屎
His nose hairs looks like
他的鼻毛多的就像
there's a family of spiders living in there.
里面住了一窝蜘蛛
But nevertheless, he still deserves love.
但即便如此他仍有爱的权利
I agree. You know, I told him to try
同意我告诉过他去
one of those international dating sites.
一个国际交♥友♥网♥站试试
Really? Even with all the single women
真的吗芝加哥这
right here in Chicago?
不是有很多单身女性吗
Well, I think the language barrier would really play in his favor.
我觉得语言障碍对他真的有利
Vietnamese girl, maybe Cambodian...
越南姑娘或是柬埔寨的
any of your war- ravaged countries.
任何饱受战争重创的国家都行
I think it's a horrible idea
我觉得这想法太可怕了
fixing your sister up with Harry.
撮合你妹妹和Harry
Why not? They're both available, lovely people.
怎么不行他们都还单着人又可爱
Yeah, but this isn't a fairy tale.
是但这不是童话故事
The troll doesn't get the princess.
巨怪不会得到公主
He stays under the bridge with his riddles.
他只能带着谜题一直守候在桥下
Look, if she got to know the guy I saw tonight,
如果她认识了我今晚见到的这个人
she could look past all the other...
她可能会忽略他的那些
Atrocities? Quirks.
恶俗行为吗是怪癖
Okay?
好吧
He's a very sweet soul, and so is Victoria.
他的心灵很美 Victoria也是如此
Victoria is a show pony
Victoria是个喜欢炫耀之人
Harry is a three-legged mule
Harry却是只上不得台面的三腿儿骡子
with an ass covered in flies.
而且屁♥股♥上还落满了苍蝇
Victoria has dated nothing but jerks her entire life.
一直以来Victoria交往的那些人都是混♥蛋♥
Maybe what she needs right now is a three-legged mule.
也许她现在就是需要一只三腿儿骡子
Are we making three-legged mules?
我们有三条腿的骡子吗
Because I think we're out of grapefruit juice and grenadine.
因为我们没有葡萄汁和红石榴汁了
See? There's already kind of
看到没某种程度上已经有了
a language barrier built in.
语言障碍
Victoria, you don't want to go out with Harry, do you?
Victoria 你不想和Harry约会是不
Mike, that's not how we do it... you ease into it.
Mike 我们不该这么说你要慢慢说
Who's Harry? Are we done here?
谁是Harry 我们已经完成使命对不
All right.
好吧
Harry is a really nice guy that we know from O.A.
Harry是个很好的小伙子我们是在匿名过食者协会认识的
And he's been over here several times.
他来过这几次
He bought you a karaoke machine at Christmas.
他圣诞节还送了你一台K歌♥机
Oh, the chunky guy with the sweater vest
那个穿着毛背心
and matronly upper arms?
上臂发福的矮胖子吗
Oh, you noticed his arms.
你还注意到他手臂了啊
Well, turns out, he is currently unattached.
猜猜怎么着他现在单身一人
Yeah.
是
Catch him between disappointments.
趁着空窗期赶快抓住他
I got this.
让我来
I know he's not the kind of guy you usually go out with,
我知道他不是你常交往的那种类型
but, you know, I thought it's Valentine's Day
但我想情人节就要到了
and you're not doing anything.
你又正好无事可做
I am not gonna take his virginity,
我可不想破了他的处♥男♥身
'cause I don't do that anymore.
因为我已经做够这种事了
It's like feeding squirrels at the park...
就像在公园里喂松鼠
once word gets out, you're surrounded.
一旦被它们知道它们就会把你围住
I don't blame her... that guy's been storing his nuts
不怪她那家伙的蛋蛋
for 35 winters.
都贮藏了35年了
Shush!
嘘
I just thought you might enjoy dinner out with a nice guy.
我就是想你会喜欢和个好男人共进晚餐的
He is always very sweet to me.
他确实一直对我很好
I know he's a little rough around the edges,
我知道他有点不修边幅
but just look what I did with Mike.
但就像我容忍♥Mike
What did you do?
你容忍♥什么了
He has come a long way.
他已经有了长足的进步
Remember when he used to eat ravioli out of the can?
还记得他以前吃饺子都直接用罐吗
I remember when he used to eat ravioli on the can.
我记得他一般有饺子吃就行
Hey.
嘿
Look, if this is some sort of elaborate prank to see me cry,
如果这只是个为了看我痛哭而精心安排的恶作剧
you could have just played "Wind Beneath My Wing"
你们只需放一首
and saved us all a lot of time.
这样我们都省时省力
Look, this is on the up-and-up.
这绝对诚实可信
Victoria said yes, and quite frankly,
Victoria说可以坦诚说
I'm as surprised as you are.
我也和你一样惊讶
You know, "Surprise"
惊讶
doesn't even begin to address
远远不能表达
what's going on here.
这发生的一切
No, this is Matrix type stuff.
不这得用<黑客帝国>的场景来形容
This is an upside-down parallel universe.
我们正置身一个倒置的平行世界