迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S03E13

Part 1 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:50 p.m.

All right!
太好了
I got all the supplies from the hardware store.
我在五金店把所有用品都买♥♥齐了
I thought you were going to prep and measure the walls?
我以为你在测量墙宽呢
Well, I started to, but then I found your high school yearbook,
我本来开工了但接着我发现了你的高中毕业照
and it's a real page-turner.
真让我爱不释手啊
Can't wait to see how it ends.
非常期待结局如何啊
Yeah, I graduate, I get my teaching degree,
我顺利毕业了而且拿到了教师资格证
and then I marry Lazy Bones Jones.
接着就嫁给了懒骨头Jones
This is a nice picture of you though.
这张照的不错
Who would expect the captain of the debate club
谁会想到辩论社的社长
to have such a rocking mullet?
会有这么"潮"的头型
It is not a mullet.
才不是呢
I was going through a Prince phase.
我只是很崇拜Prince
Really?
真的吗
Charles or Albert?
是查尔斯王子还是阿尔贝王子
You want to talk hairstyles?
你想聊聊发型是吗
I've seen your prom picture, Buzz Lightyear.
我看过你高中毕业舞会的照片巴斯光年先生
Hey, it's the same exact haircut I have now.
嘿我现在也是这发型
Yes, it is.
确实如此
Well, I'm certainly not going to cross verbal swords
我决定不会和这位大众评选的"最爱狡辩"
with the girl voted "Most likely to tell you you're wrong."
的女孩进行争论的
Seriously, if we don't get cracking,
说真的如果我们不马上动工的话
we're never going to make it livable for us down here.
也许永远也住不进来了
Don't worry, we'll get it done.
不用担心我们会完工的
You know my motto: "Do it right, do it once."
你知道我的格言的 "只做对的一次成"
I thought your motto was:
我还以为你的格言是
"There's always room for Jell-O."
"总有容纳果冻的空间"
Hey, a guy can have more than one motto.
人可以有不止一个格言
What's it read?
看看多少
Ten feet, five inches and one, two, 3/16ths.
十英尺五又十六分之三英寸
Can you write that down?
你写下来呗
I can remember it.
我记得住
What's my phone number?
我的手♥机♥号♥是多少
You got a pencil?
有铅笔吗
By the saw.
在锯旁边
We'll slap this paneling up quicker
我们可以快速的把这木板拍到墙上
than you can say "Little red Corvette."
都不等你唱完"Little red Corvette"
Don't push it, Buzz.
别逞强了巴斯
Hey, uh, what was that measurement again?
刚才的测量结果是多少来的
You don't know, that's why I wanted you to write it down.
你不记着了这就是我为什么让你写下来
Well, what's it say now?
现在是多少
Now, 12 feet, six inches.
现在是12英尺6英寸
Well, I'm guessing I walked about three feet, seven inches,
我想我大概走了3英尺7英寸
give or take.
可能有点小误差
Mike, can you please measure it again?
Mike 你能再量一遍吗
You know, measure twice, cut once.
三思而行
That's just for cake.
那只适用于蛋糕
Something like this you can eyeball.
这样的东西你可以目测
What are we doing?
我们这是在干什么啊
We're never going to finish this.
我们这样永远都别想完工
We should hire a professional.
我们该雇个专业人士
Why? You're married to a first-class handyman.
为什么你可嫁给了顶级技工
Who fixed that hole in the roof?
是谁把屋顶的洞补上的啊
You did. Same hole three times.
你啊一个洞补了三次
No, same hole twice.
不对是同一个洞补两次
The other hole was where my foot went through.
另一个洞是我脚踩出来的
And that patchwork is holding up very nicely.
那补丁打的相当艺术啊
Perhaps it's the all-weather boot that you left stuck in it.
可能是因为你卡在洞里的那只雨靴吧
Point being, I fixed it.
重点是我修好了
Now let's get this show on the road.
我们快点开工吧
What'd you do with that pencil? By the saw.
铅笔放哪来的在锯旁边
We're going to have to hire somebody
我们还得雇个人
just to keep track of the pencil.
看着点铅笔
Hey, come on in.
嘿进来吧
What happened to your hand?
你手怎么了
Oh, it's nothing.
没什么
I'm doing some home improvements at the house,
我正在房♥子里搞装♥修♥呢
and I sliced my thumb cutting an apple.
然后切苹果的时候划到了大拇指
You got no business working with tools or knives.
你就该告别那些使用工具或刀的工作
The only thing you can build
你唯一能做的
is a hamburger at Fuddruckers.
就是在福德洛克做个大汉堡
At least I can do my own laundry.
至少我自己洗衣服
I don't have to come over to my grandma's to get her to do it.
我不用去我奶奶家让她帮忙洗
Hey, I came over to check in on that helpless, poor, old woman.
我来是看看那个孤寡老太太的情况
Excuse me for being an exemplary grandson.
不要羡慕像哥这样的孝子贤孙
Listen, SpongeBob BrownPants...
听着失忆了的海绵宝宝
...what's the point of getting you out of my house
如果我还继续帮你洗脏内衣
if I still got to handle your dirty drawers?
那我把你赶出去还有啥意义呢
Grandma, how many times do I got to tell you?
奶奶我告诉你多少遍了
I like my underpants tri-folded, like little flags.
我喜欢把内♥裤♥折三下就像小旗帜一样
Not just rolled up!
而不是卷起来
Those crusty things roll up all on their own.
这些坏东西是自己卷起来的
Like the dead witch's feet in The Wizard of Oz.
就像绿野仙踪里那个死去的老巫婆的脚
Just...
真是的
Carl, we should probably get out of here.
Carl 我们快走吧
You're not wearing your bulletproof vest.
你可没穿防弹背心啊
Michael, do you still go to your mama's house
Michael 你还经常回你妈家
expecting her to fix you dinner, do your laundry,
指望她给你做饭洗衣服
and shave the back of your neck?
甚至刮脖子后面的毛吗
No, but part of that's me not wanting my mom
不正因如此我不敢让我妈
standing behind me with a razor in her hand.
拿着剃刀站在我身后
He's not nearly as nervous as he should be.
他可是一点该有的紧张情绪都没有
I'll be over later tonight to check on you,
我今晚会过来看你的
make sure you're okay and that you've taken your medicine.
确保你安然无恙还有按时吃药
The only pills I take are for the headache you give me.
我就吃点治头疼的药还是拜你所赐啊
And you're not coming here to check on me,
你不是来看我
you just want to steal my food.
而是来偷食物
You steal her food?
你居然偷吃的啊
The grocery was closed,
食杂店关门了
and I'm not paying liquor store prices.
而且我才不会花钱买♥♥酒呢
Came home another night
还有一天晚上回来
and found nothing in the Frigidaire
发现冰箱里什么也没有
but my milk of magnesia and a half-eaten radish.
只找到我的泻药和吃了一半的小萝卜
Yeah, always forget I hate radishes until I bite into one.
我总是等咬完一口才能想起来自己讨厌小萝卜
Get him out of here right now,
赶快让他出去
before you're witness to a black-on-black,
如果你不想亲眼目睹我把他
foot-in-ass crime!
屁♥股♥踢开花的犯罪经过
Remember to check my shirt sleeves for dryer sheets.
记得检查我衬衫袖子上的柔软剂纸
I've been pulling those things out of my cuffs
我总得自己把那东西拽下来
like a damn magician!
像个傻♥逼♥魔术师
Boy, you better disappear before I saw you in half.
在我切的你身首异处之前你最好赶快消失
I know it's out of my way to come by here,
我知道来这儿不是我性格
but it's always worth it when I see that big smile on her face.
但是当我看到她脸上的微笑时就觉得一切都值了
And quit leaving your pornography in my DVD player!
不要把你的黄♥片♥放在我的DVD机里
I sat down to watch The View and got one I'll never forget.
我正准备坐下来看The View 却看到我永生难忘的一幕
Boy, for a guy with his own apartment,
对于一个自己有公♥寓♥的人来说
you're sure spending a lot of time at your grandma's.
你确实在你奶奶家呆的太久了
Hey, she's an old woman and she misses me.
她年老体衰而且又常常想我
I'm trying to wean her off me slowly, like methadone.
我正在慢慢解除她的依赖就像美♥沙♥酮♥
Right.
没错
Look, if you're lonely, maybe you should
如果你觉得孤单你可以
get a dog or a plant.
养只狗或养盆花
You know, something that has to love you back.
一些能以爱回报你的东西
First of all, I'm not lonely.
首先我不孤独
And, secondly, a dog doesn't guarantee you love.
其次养狗并不保证它爱你
I've had three run off on me.
我养过三只都离我而去了
One of them left me for a hobo.
其中一只还跟流浪汉跑了
You're kidding.
开玩笑吧
No, I saw him on the street a week later.
不是一周后我在街上看到他了
Acted like he didn't even know me.
装的好像不认识我似的