迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S03E13

Part 3 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:50 p.m.

I only came down here to take a dump in private.
我只想来这偷偷上个大号♥
Yeah, which reminds me,
对这还提醒我了
when Molly and I are living down here,
等我和Molly住进来后
that toilet is off limits.
那个厕所禁止外人使用
You need to go to a hospital, not the bathroom.
你需要去医院而不是去厕所
One could argue, you're projecting your anger at me
有人会说你把你的怒火撒向我
because you're not so much handy, as handicapped.
是因为你不像残疾人那样灵活敏捷
I'm holding a hammer, and it might be glued to my hand.
我拿着锤子它也许粘在我手上
Oh, good, you're off the crapper.
哦你掉厕所了啊
I thought you strained too hard and blew a valve.
我还以为你拽的太用力弄坏了水阀呢
I barely got my pants up
我刚提好裤子
before getting drafted by this old "Big as a house."
就被这位"体壮如房♥"的大块头应♥召♥到这
Yeah, and you were a tremendous help, too.
没错你也给了我极大的帮助
There's not supposed to be
这里不该有
a big gap between them, is there?
这么大一条缝对不
Don't point out his mistakes.
别给他挑错
He's horrible with criticism.
他对批评厌恶至极
Boy, the two of them are
天他们俩是
never gonna move down here, are they?
永远也搬不进来了是不
I'm working on it!
我正在干呢
"Working on it."
"正在干"
If he nails everything the way he nails paneling,
如果他搞定每件事都像钉木板这样的话
we're never gonna see any grandkids.
我们就别想见到第三代了
One project at a time!
一次只研究一个项目
See? You can't tell him anything!
看见没什么也别跟他说
Damn it, line up, you son of a bitch!
"该死的对齐你这混♥蛋♥"
Ow!
啊哦
Everything okay?
还好吗
Fine! Looking great!
很好非常不错
Damn it, it looks great!
靠看起来真尼玛不错啊
Worst-case scenario,
最糟的情况
we brick up the basement and live in the garage.
我们用砖堵住了地下室只能住在车♥库♥了
Well, he may not be any good,
也许他不是什么都好
but he's not a quitter.
但他也不是个轻言放弃的人
Kind of like you and the baton twirling.
有点像当年挥舞着指挥棒的你
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
I-I was a baton master.
我我可是指挥大♥师♥
They asked me to be in the Fourth of July parade, so...
他们还邀请我参加了国♥庆♥游♥行♥
I remember.
我记得
You beaned that poor old Shriner right in the fez.
你还正好打到可怜的老Shriner的土耳其毡帽上
All those little cars crashing into each other.
接着那些车就连环相撞了
Hey, I slipped on horse manure, okay?
我只是踩在马粪上滑倒了好吗
That pile-up was on the Buckaroo Club.
那起连环车祸发生在Buckaroo俱乐部门前
Either diaper those things
要不给那些家伙挂个粪便袋
or don't feed 'em the night before.
要不就别在前一天晚上喂它们
Hey, Samuel. Come on.
Samuel 快进
How's everything going with Carl?
你和Carl住的怎么样
It's kind of like Whoopi Goldberg and Danny Glover
我俩就像<紫色>中的
in The Color Purple.
Whoopi Goldberg和Danny Glover
Oh, that movie always makes me cry.
那部电影总是让我失声痛哭
Yeah, I cried on the bus ride over here.
是啊我已经在来的公交车上哭过了
Is Mike home?
Mike在家吗
Yeah, downstairs.
在楼下
Just follow the "Oh craps" And "Damn its."
顺着"妈的""该死的"的声音走吧
Aw, crap! Damn it!
啊妈的真该死
Thank you.
谢谢
If you're covering cracks, you missed the big one.
如果你在修补裂缝的话你好像漏掉一个超大的
Damn it, what are you doing here?
靠你来干什么
Supposed to be getting Carl
出来给Carl买♥♥个
a Peanut Buster Parfait and some bath beads.
花生巴菲和浴珠
He likes to snack in the tub.
他喜欢在浴缸里吃零食
You don't have to tell me everything.
你不用什么都和我讲
I like there being a little mystery between me and Carl.
我喜欢和Carl之间有点小秘密
He won't buy toilet paper and insists I steal it
他不买♥♥厕纸还坚持让我去
from restaurants and gas stations.
餐馆和加油站偷
He says he risks his life every day,
他还说他每天都出生入死的
the city owes him a clean ass.
城市应该还他一个干净的屁♥股♥
See, right there.
看到了吧
Happy without that information.
不知道挺好的
Grab that end, will you?
拿着另一边好吗
Of course. How do you deal with
好的你怎么受得了
being around him all the time?
和他共事这么久
Well, you just got to treat him like a toddler or a dog.
你就把他当成幼儿或者小狗就行了
Say "No" And "Down"
说"不行""坐下"
and run him a lot so he sleeps at night.
让他多跑跑这样晚上他才睡得香
Tack that up, will you?
把它钉墙上行吗
All right.
好的
The important thing is you stand up for yourself.
重要的是你要维护自己的权益
It's your place, too.
那也是你的地方
You're his roommate, not his mail-order bride.
你是他的室友不是他的邮购新娘
Well, I am certainly getting sick
我真的厌烦
of doing "Washy washy" For "Mr. Carl."
为Carl先生洗洗涮涮了
Yeah, he's a handful.
他真的很棘手
Give him an inch and he'll take a mile.
给他点阳光他就灿烂
Go ahead and tack up that other side,
去把那边也钉上
since you got the hammer.
正好你拿着锤子呢
Sure.
可以
Remember to keep the hammer centered and straight.
记着保持锤头居中垂直
And keep going.
继续吧
Momentum is the key to finishing a project.
动量是完工的关键
Ooh, another motto.
又有了条格言啊
Where are you going?
你去哪
I'm gonna grab a beer.
我去拿瓶啤酒
You can have one when you're done.
你干完活也可以喝一瓶
HBO, Cinemax, Showtime.
HBO Cinemax Showtime
The minute I move out,
我刚一搬出去
that old woman buys the premium package.
这老太太就买♥♥了个超值电视套餐
She better not be burning through my inheritance.
她最好不要废除我的继承权
Sister Rosetta,
姊妹Rosetta
you've got the devil inside of you.
你的内心可真邪恶啊
Well, there's room enough for both of you.
那空间足够你俩的了
Oh, hell no!
哦真是不妙啊
Hey, Grandma.
嘿奶奶
Hey, when'd you start buying Australian beer?
你什么时候开始买♥♥澳洲啤酒了
There's a lovely peach cobbler in the kitchen.
厨房♥里有桃味冷饮料
Why don't you help yourself.
你先自己拿着喝吧
Carlton, what do I got to do to get rid of you?!
Carlton 我怎么着才能把你赶出去
You're like a toe fungus!
你就想脚趾上真菌一样顽固啊
Grandma, you're an old woman,
奶奶你上了岁数
and somebody's got to take care of you.
总得有人照顾你啊
If you wasn't here right now,
要不是你现在在这
I'd be upstairs with Brother Heywood
我可能已经和兄弟Heywood在楼上了
and he'd be taking care of me good.
或许他现在正在好好照顾我呢
Come on, Grandma, I got a belly full of cobbler.
行了奶奶我喝了一肚子的饮料
Boy, you got your own
你现在有自己的
apartment now and a roommate.
公♥寓♥和室友
What are you doing here?
你还来这干什么
I don't know.
我也不知道
'Cause you ain't got nobody
因为那里没有人
waiting on you hand and foot...
跑前跑后的伺候你
cooking your meals, doing your laundry.
给你做饭洗衣服
Actually, I do.
实际上我有
And Samuel can fold a pair of underpants
Samuel的内♥裤♥折的
better than you.
比你好
My dresser drawer looks like a military funeral!
我现在的衣橱就像军事葬礼一样干净利落
Well, if you got Bushman Benson at home,
既然你找到个善解人意的黑人管家
what you doing sitting on my couch,
你干嘛还坐在我的沙发上
sucking down my imported beer?
喝着我的进口啤酒
Being away from you made me realize
离开你我才意识到
how much you done for me.
你为我付出很多