迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S03E15

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:51 p.m.

Boy, you girls sure left those things for dead.
你们俩真是把它们吸干了
Well, I'm sorry that we were hungry
对不起我们当时太饿了
and needed to live.
需要生存
And most of that's on Molly.
肯定大部分都给了Molly
You know, those kegs were pretty well tapped
她的肠胃被开♥发♥的相当好啊
by the time I hit the party.
在我出生前
Back in the day, these beauties could stop
想当年这俩美人可以拦下
a whole high school track team.
整支高中田径队
And that was just flopping out one of them.
那还只是露出一边的时候
Well, I'm sorry being our mother was such a burden.
十分抱歉做我们的母亲让你这么负担
Well, what's done is done.
过去就过去了
Why are you drinking that green sludge anyway?
你为什么要喝那像绿泥一样的东西
Yeah, you said you were dropping eggs
是啊你说过你排卵时
like a blind chicken farmer.
就像个不理智的鸡场主
I'm just keeping my uterus fresh.
我想保持子♥宫♥清爽
It's like doing, you know,
就像
those crossword puzzles for the brain.
玩填字游戏对大脑好是一样的
Well, if you're fine, it's probably the hubby.
如果你没问题的话可能就是丈夫的事了
He sits in front of that microwave
他总是坐在微波炉前
like it's a television.
就好像那是台电视似的
There's nothing wrong with me or Mike.
我和Mike都没问题
It's just taking a little longer than we expected.
只是花费的时间比我们预期的长了一点
Well, maybe his sperm would have an easier time
或许他的精♥子♥能更容易找到
finding your egg if it came with a side
你的卵子如果给它
of bacon and hash browns.
一片培根和土豆煎饼
Mom.
妈
Hey, Vin, how'd it go out there?
嘿 Vin 出去一趟进展如何啊
I hate people.
我讨厌人们
They're stupid and they live like animals.
他们傻乎乎的活得像动物一样
I got enough hair in my roller to open a wig store.
我的吸尘器里头发多的都可以开店了
Good, so you do have something to fall back on.
太好了你终于知难而退了
Don't start with me, young lady.
不要调侃我年轻人
I'm in no mood for your sass.
我没心情理你
Oh, I'm sorry.
抱歉
What's your stand on back talk or horseplay?
那你对顶嘴和恶作剧能容忍♥到什么程度呢
You spoiled these brats.
这俩小鬼被你宠坏了
Why are you killing yourself like this, huh?
你干嘛要这样自虐呢
I told you, between my pension and Social Security,
我说过了有我的退休金和社会保险
we're going to be fine.
我们就能过得很好的
Hey, I will make my own money and pay my own way.
我想自己赚钱自己花
Vincent Moranto is not a man-whore.
Vincent Moranto不是牛郎
Good, because that's a living room demonstration
不错因为在客厅里示♥威♥
that no one needs to see.
没人会看到
And to think,
还有
after my first sale,
在我做成第一笔生意后
I was going to start giving you girls an allowance.
我要给你们姐俩零花钱
No more.
没了
Okay, well, hang on a minute.
好吧等一下
I was just kidding around, you know.
我只是在开玩笑
How much are we talking about, Step-Pappy?
我们谈谈你能给多少呗后爸爸
He's so sensitive.
他太敏感了吧
Eight, nine, ten.
8 9 10
Hey, what is going on down here?
你在这干嘛呢
You looking to be Mr. January
想做警♥察♥日历上
in the policemen's calendar?
的"一哥"吗
I just read that keeping my blood flowing
我只是看到说保持血液流动
decreases stress and increases sperm production.
能减轻压力增加精♥子♥产量
Wow, working out and reading.
哇练肌肉爱读书
Hello, handsome, my name's Molly.
你好帅哥我叫Molly
I stopped by the library to peruse a couple of books
我刚好路过图书馆就读了几本
on male fertility.
关于男性生殖能力的书
The ones that hadn't been defaced by teenage perverts
那些已经被十几岁的小变♥态♥翻烂了的书
were actually very helpful.
确实很有用
You should see what those kids do to my health books at school.
你应该看看我们学校的那群孩子对我的健康手册做了什么
They'll add hair to anything.
他们喜欢在任何部位添点毛发
Anyway, it was very informative.
总之我是长知识了
I had no idea how important sperm is
我以前都不知道精♥子♥
to the reproductive process.
对于生殖过程居然这么重要
Maybe you should've gone to the library a little sooner.
或许你应该早点去图书馆
Did you know the shape of the male sperm
你知道男性精♥子♥的形状
can actually determine its value?
真的会决定它的价值吗
No, I thought they all came pretty much the same shape,
不知道我以为它们都差不多一个样呢
like, uh, like Peeps.
就像就像棉花糖
No, golly, no, some are better than others.
不不是的有些就比其他的好
The optimal sperm has an oval head, a slender midsection,
最优质的精♥子♥有一个椭圆形的头部中间纤细
and a tail that moves in a wavelike motion.
还有条能波状摆动的尾巴
Oh, I had an uncle like that.
我有个叔叔就长这样
He was in the Ice Capades.
他在白雪溜冰团
They are little athletes.
它们就是小运动员
You got to feed 'em right and keep 'em fit
你要合理膳食保持它们健康
so they'll be ready for the big game.
这样它们才能为大赛做好准备
Oh, so, what time's kick-off, coach?
那么什么时候开球啊教练
Sorry, ma'am, no game tonight.
抱歉女士今晚无赛
All the books say abstaining for a couple of days
所有的书都说戒欲几日
builds up your sperm count and increases your odds
可以增加精♥子♥数目增长你受孕
of fertilization.
的机率
Real nice.
真不错
You get a lady all hot and bothered,
你有这样一位热情洋溢的女士
you're making muscles and reading books.
却情愿练肌肉看书
You're a tease, mister.
你可真够闷骚的先生
Well, if you can't control yourself,
如果你控制不住的话
you'd better get out of here.
那就快点离开吧
'Cause I can't do my curls and fight you off.
因为我不能一边做屈臂运动一边躲开你
One, two, three.
1 2 3
Oh, yeah, guns a-blazing.
不错火力全开了
Oh, what time is it?
几点了
After midnight.
后半夜了
You been down there lifting weights all night?
你一晚上都在下面练举重吗
No, I fell asleep on the bench.
没我在凳子上睡着了
Well, at least it wasn't on the toilet this time.
至少这次不是在厕所
Scared the hell out of me when I turned on that light.
开灯的时候简直吓得我魂不附体啊
I don't know what it is about reading,
我不知道读的什么
it just knocks me out.
反正把我累坏了
Rough day out there today?
今天在外面不顺利吗
I got more doors slammed in my face than a Jehovah's Witness
我遇到的都是当面摔门的家伙而非得了唇疱疹
with a cold sore.
的耶♥和♥华♥见证人
So you didn't make one sale?
所以你一个都没卖♥♥出去吗
Negative.
答对了
If you're standing in front of a peephole carrying a vacuum
扛着吸尘器站在猫眼前面
You might as well be wearing a hockey mask, holding a machete and a severed head.
就跟一手持大刀一手提断头没啥两样
Well, no offense, but you can't blame the vacuum
好吧别怪我你不能把责任
for all of that.
都推到吸尘器身上
You're not exactly a people person.
你又不是人见人爱那种
What are you talking about, you big load?
你什么意思大炮
I'm beloved.
爱我的多着呢
You're right.
那是那是
Hey, can I buy one of those vacuum cleaners off you?
嘿我能买♥♥你一台吸尘器吗
Really? No, you just called me a big load.
真的才怪你刚还叫我大炮
That's mean.
小气鬼
Don't take it out on me
你的蛋蛋不产子
because your grapes are seedless.
也别跟我过不去
You don't know what you're talking about.
你知道什么呀
These things take time.
造人是需要时间的
Take all the time in the world.
全世界的时间都给你
You can't fight genetics.
你也斗不过遗传基因
You're the only son of an only son.
你♥爸♥是独子你也是独子
That's not a family tree, that's a stump.
能长出树吗顶多算个树桩
The Biggs don't procreate out of love,
我们家各个都是爱的结晶
we do it because we need someone to mow the lawn
没多生是因为不用添人手割草
or get the paper.
或是拿纸