迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S03E23
Part 2
Dec. 15, 2020, 2:53 p.m.
Whatever the hell that thing is,
不管这厮为何物
I ain't scooping up after it.
我可不会帮他铲屎
Oh, hey Peggy, good job on the pizza boats today.
嗨 Peggy 今天做的大份披萨好好吃啊
You had my whole ***, ***.
我顶你呦
Hey, I know they're delicious or I wouldn't serve them.
少拍马屁 不好吃我做他们干嘛
Alright.
好尴尬
Give this to the boy to give to Paddy.
把这个给Biggs然后让他转交给Paddy
What is it?
这里面是什么
Deodorant stick, nose hair trimmer,
除汗棒 鼻毛剪
a Bob Cousy biography and a diamond engagement ring.
一本鲍勃·库西的自传外加一枚订婚钻戒
You finally had enough, huh? How's that?
你还是玩儿腻了吧 你说什么
I said, oh my God, what happened?
我说 天啊 发生什么事啦
It's over. I'll miss his company, though.
我们分手了 虽然我会时不时想起他
He doted on me like I was the Queen of Sheba.
他宠我如希巴女王
I never had to pull out a chair or open a car door.
我都没机会自己拉个椅子开个车门
Why am I holding a bag with a deodorant stick
那你还为什么要把
and your engagement ring in it?
这些东西还给他
Boy, you love digging to the bottom of the litter box, don'tcha?
天啊 你就想刨根问底 知道点内部隐情是吧
Fine, you want the dirt?
你想知道真♥相♥
I'll give you the dirt. No no no no, I trust you.
那我就告诉你真♥相♥ 不用不用 我了解你
What's done is done.
既然事已至此 不用再纠结了
I am a sexual being!
我可是个饥渴的女人
Oh God, here comes that pizza burp.
天哪 要吐了 还带有披萨味
I tried to fan the embers of passion, lord knows I tried.
我使出浑身解数想要勾起他的欲望 我对天发誓
But you can't start a fire with wet wood.
但是蔫了的黄瓜是不会再硬起来的
I am so swamped.
这个口味也太重了
I mean, Mikey's dad and I hated each other's guts,
虽然Mike的生父和我势不两立
but we knew how to work out the ugly on the bed springs.
但是我们在床事上是相当有默契的
Oh, you know what, I left my good red pen at home,
我才想起来我把红笔忘家了
so I'm just probably gonna...
所以我要先告辞了
It's not like he couldn't perform,
不是说不喜欢他的表现
but a gal doesn't always
但是一个黄花大闺女
want to be treated like a delicate flower.
不喜欢总被人当做是温室里的花朵
None of my business!
这不关我事哦
Sometimes you want to be pulled up by the root like a nasty weed.
有的时候你希望能够被猛♥男♥深深地插一下
Well, just hit the lights on the way out.
走的时候请把灯关上
I thought by this age, my carnal desires
我之前还以为到了我这个年龄
would have cooled, but instead they're bubbling over like an
性♥欲♥会减退 但没想到简直像芝麻开花节节高
untended oatmeal I'm leaving, lock it, don't lock it,
无法无天了 我要走了 关门或不关门
burn it down, I don't care.
烧了它 我都不在乎了
Dwight, how long does it take to
Dwight 拉一车鸵鸟跨四个州
drive a truckload of ostriches across four states?
能比登天还难吗
I could've ridden them here by now.
我骑它们都骑到了
You know what, put one of the birds on the phone.
不对牛弹琴了 你让鸵鸟接电♥话♥
I'll have him get you here.
我让它把你捎来
Is everything okay? Yeah, he's running late.
没事吧 放心 他会晚点到
He stumbled across a truckstop,showered that didn't need quaters
他在一个停车站停了停车 冲了冲免费的澡
Finding free hot water is like striking oil to a hillbilly.
发现免费热水 激动地屁颠屁颠的
Vince, this thing really needs to work out.
Vince 这个事真不能搞砸了
I'm on really shaky ground at work.
我的工作可能保不稳了
Hey, everywhere you are, the ground is kinda shaky.
别忘了你走到哪儿都会地动山摇的
I am not in a joking mood, Moranto.
Moranto 我没空开玩笑
I've been dealing with crap all day. Human, horse and hobbit.
我一整天都在和垃圾打交道 有人有马有兔子
What's going on? Ooh, are you gonna hit him?
怎么啦 你要打他吗
No,
怎么会
oh no, I just like this shirt.
怎么会 我只是很喜欢这个T恤
I wanted to feel the material. What is that, silk?
我就是想体验一下它的质感 是丝绸做的吧
It's a poly rayon blend.
一半是聚酯纤维 一半是人造纤维
Comes out of the washer dry.
在干洗店洗的呢
Just let me know when that shipment of shirts comes in.
一定要告诉我那件T恤什么时候到货啊
Good luck finding one in your size.
那要先有你的号♥哈
I'm a Korean XL.
人家这小身板可是穿韩版中号♥滴
Alright, what is going on with you and Vince? Nothing.
你和Vince到底怎么了 没怎么啊
What's going on with you and all your questions?
你和你的问题到底怎么了
Maybe you should be asking yourself that, huh?
也许你该问问自己这个问题
Fine. I hope you and
好吧 希望你和大冬瓜
Ding Dong enjoy playing grab-ass,
以后性福美满
'cause I got a bag full of misery, for ya.
因为这袋子里装的可是惆怅
What is it?
里面是什么
Your mom wants you to give that to the captain.
你老妈让你把这给队长
Aww, she's giving him back the engagement ring? Did she say why?
她要把订婚戒指退给他 她说为什么了吗
She said why and how and with what.
为什么 怎么退 退什么 她都说了
Had to stop and buy Tums on the way home.
回家路上还中途停了车去买♥♥胃酸钙片
Do I want to hear this?
我需要知道是怎么回事吗
I can tell you or I can show you on the Dell. Take your pick.
直接告诉你或者在电脑上给你看 自己选吧
Captain?
队长 你在吗
What's in the bag, Biggs?
袋里是什么 Biggs
I know it's not leftovers.
我知道肯定不是剩菜
Didn't see you there, sir.
刚才没看见你 先生
Been here all night. Can't go home.
我一晚上都在这里 不能回家
Can't go anywhere without being
无论到哪里
haunted by the memories of my darling Margaret.
都被亲爱的Margaret的记忆萦绕
You know, you're still a very vibrant man.
你还是一个很有活力的男人
You'll bounce back from this.
你会从情伤中恢复的
When I love, I love deep.
爱情来的时候 我爱得很深
I can't just shake it off like a bad cold.
不能想摆脱感冒一样甩掉爱情
Oh sweet lord, there's no halfway with that woman, is there?
噢天哪 对Margaret来说 爱情没有中间位置 是吧
No, the piledriver's pretty much her only move, sir.
是的 横冲直撞是她唯一的动作了
I don't know what went wrong. If I did, maybe I could fix it.
我不知道我哪里做错了 如果我知道 说不定能补救
But you'll make yourself nuts trying to figure that out.
再想你会疯的
Just try to move on
往前看吧
and remember that I had absolutely nothing to do with this.
再记住我与这事毫无瓜葛
She didn't say anything about why?
她没说为什么吗
May have been a little bit of lady
可能她和我老婆
gab between her and my wife, but nothing to me, sir.
唠叨了几句 但什么都没和我说 先生
Biggs, if you're withholding information from me,
Biggs 如果你对我隐瞒了什么
I will put you on a detail so ugly,
我会丑陋地把你的一切都抖出来
the Ren Faire crappers will be your happy place.
最终你只有躲到中世纪嘉年华的厕所去
Listen, I warned you from the beginning
听着 一开始我就告诉过你
it wasn't a good idea for you to date my mother.
和我老妈约会不是个好主意
Sit! Ah.
坐下 啊
Alright, this isn't coming from me.
好吧 你听到的一切绝不是我说的
This is possibly one of the
这大概是我一生
worst things I've ever had to say in my life.
说过的最坏的话之一
I'm a grown man, Biggs. Give it to me straight.
Biggs 我是成年人 直说吧
Sir, my mother is very difficult to please.
先生 我老妈是非常难以取悦的
She heckled the priest at her mother's funeral.
她在她母亲的葬礼上大声吼叫了牧师
In Latin! Just tell me what I did wrong.
还用的拉丁语 直接告诉我哪里做错了
I only ever tried to be a perfect gentleman to your mother.
一直以来我都试图当一个完美的绅士
Yeah, well apparently she doesn't like that all the time.
好吧 很显然她一直都不太喜欢那样
Not following you.
我没跟上你的思路
That's wise 'cause I don't know where I'm going.
我知道 因为我也我不知道我要说什么
Biggs, for the love of God, quit tap dancing and spill the beans.
Biggs 看在老天的份上 你就直说了吧
What do you want from me?
你想从我这知道些什么
Pull her hair! Spank her!
扯她的头发 扇她的屁屁
Swing her around the room like a rag doll! My mother's an animal.
像洋娃娃一样把她拎起来转 我老妈就是个野兽
A dirty, filthy animal! I gotta go.
一只下流的淫秽的野兽 我得走了
And the National Weather Service has
国家天气中心发布了
just issued a tornado watch for the following counties:
有关以下县市的龙♥卷♥风♥通知
Cook, DuPage, Will, Kankakee and Iroquois.
库克县 杜佩奇县 威尔县 坎卡基 易洛魁
Be advised to take shelter should these conditions worsen.
如果情况恶劣 请务必寻找避难所
Hope this blows through before tomorrow night.
希望这龙♥卷♥风♥在明晚前过境
It's the jousting finals at the Renaissance Faire
明晚有文艺复兴嘉年华的马上长枪比武的决赛
and my grand chamberlain's hat does not have a chin strap.
我无与伦比的宫廷帽还没有下巴托呢
Should probably take some
我们应该在地下室准备些蜡烛
candles down to the basement. We might lose power.
电力可能会中断
You want to avoid candles in case of a gas leak.
别用蜡烛 小心煤气泄漏
I've got flashlights in the
在我车里有手电筒
trunk of my car plus a case of canned stew
一箱罐装牛肉
and 25 gallons of distilled water.
还有25加仑的蒸馏水
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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