迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S03E05

Part 4 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:48 p.m.

I know. I know.
我知道
This thing is a beast!
这车真带劲
I love being up high, too.
我就喜欢这么坐这么高
It gives me a false sense
给我一种
of superiority.
优人一等的假象
There's nothing false about it,
也不是什么假象
this is the finest urban police vehicle
这就是当今最拉风
on the road today.
最酷的城市警车
It's so big, it makes me feel like
空间这么大搞得像我真的
I actually lost the 35 pounds
减了35磅似的
I told the captain I did. Hey, listen to this.
我骗长官我减了这么多听这个
High speed rear crash tested,
经过高速追尾测试
level three ballistic door panels,
三等弹道门面板
framed in boron steel.
硼钢框架结构
They put boron in this baby?
这玩意还有硼呢
This is Robocop kind of stuff, man.
这可是机械战警的装备啊
The future is now.
未来就在眼前
Hey, let me drive.
嘿让我开开
No way! My mom's the one dating the captain,
没门跟长官约会的是我妈
so get used to "Sitting bitch""
所以就乖乖坐着吧
Come on, man.
怎么这样嘛
It's bad enough I didn't go
昨晚你没带我去公牛队
to the Bulls game last night.
就已经够惨的了
All right.
好吧
After lunch, we'll find an empty parking lot
午餐后找个宽敞停车场
and I'll let you toodle it around a little bit.
让你小开那么一下
I'll need to lock my seat position into the memory.
我要把这座椅位置保存一下
Oh, that seat's not going to forget you.
那座椅怎么可能忘了你
It's all the way back, all the way down,
就是退到最后降到最低
and after lunch, it's with the door cracked open.
不过午饭后这门就关不上了
Just for that, I'm not going to let you drive.
就你话多不给你开了
Come on, don't be that way!
别啊别对我这么残忍♥
DISPATCHER: Test Car One,
调度员一号♥测试车
Captain requests your presence back at the station.
长官要求你们现在返回基地
That's us.
说我们呢
Where's the radio?
对讲机在哪
I don't know if there is one.
我没看到有啊
It might be voice activated.
可能是声音调控吧
We hear you, and we are responding!
我们听见啦正在回应
Test Car One, do you read?
一号♥测试车是否收到
Yes. Yes, we read.
是的我们收到了
Hit the lights, we better just get there.
亮警灯吧我们赶紧回去
Lights, lights.
灯呢灯
Where are the lights?
灯在哪
Captain, you wanted to see me?
长官您要见我
Sit down, Biggs.
坐下 Biggs
Is there a problem, sir?
有状况吗长官
Did my mom order the lobster?
是不是我妈点了龙虾
Take a seat.
坐下
And hand over the keys to the test vehicle.
把测试车的钥匙还我
That baby handles like a champ, sir.
这车开起来真的很拉风
My only complaint would be the cup holder
唯一问题是车里放不下
which can't accomodate anything over 32 ounces.
超大杯的饮料
You don't have to worry about that anymore.
你不用担心这个了
We're giving you back your old squad car.
继续开你的老警车吧
I can't go back to my old car.
我不能开老车啊
That like going back to single stuffed Oreos.
我和新车都黏成奥利奥了
After last night's dinner with your mother,
昨晚和你妈妈吃过饭后
I am not feeling very generous awards you.
我就不想对你这么好了
Sir, now I told you she was a bit ornery.
长官我妈是有点坏脾气
Granted, that's like saying
意思就是说
my alligator's a bit of a nipper,
我妈不太好搞
but you were warned.
但我提醒过你的
Your mother was a delight. Come again?
你妈妈很不错说什么
Funny, vibrant and a straight-shooter.
有趣活泼心直口快
You're speaking metaphorically.
您在说暗语吧
She didn't actually try to shoot you?
她没干什么坏事吧
The only sour note of the whole evening
整晚唯一刺耳的话题
is when the subject of you came up.
就是谈及到你
Is this about me being a 14-pound baby?
是关于我生下来14磅重吗
I know I did a number on her, but you can't blame me.
我知道我让她受苦了但也不能全怪我
This isn't about a baby,
不关以前的事
this is about a grown man who ignores the woman
而是关于一个伟大善良的母亲
who sacrificed and toiled to make sure
时刻关心着她没良心的儿子
that hip-splitting ingrate had a good life.
这儿子却置她于不顾
I don't know what she told you
我不知道她跟你都说了什么
but you've got to take everything she says
但有的话你就当是
with a grain of salt.
耳边风好了
Might be time for you and that party girl you married
你和你那疯老婆是时候
to put your sainted mother on your social calendar.
陪陪你的好妈妈了
Sir, I don't know where you guys ate,
长官我不清楚你们去哪吃的饭
but I know what she fed you.
但我清楚她给你下了什么药
From now on, Sundays belong to her.
从现在起周日都要陪她
No "Ifs, ands, or buts."
没有任何借口
And help her out around the house,
并且帮她收拾家
at least enough to keep the animals
至少不能让什么动物
from chewing off her angel face.
啃了她那美丽天使的面庞
Sir, I have found no evidence
长官对于那些所谓的动物
to support the repeated claims
我真的没有发现
of wild animals.
丝毫证据
Say one more thing against that lovely woman,
再说一句你♥妈♥的♥不是
you're guarding porta potties
我就派你去管球场外的
outside Soldier Field.
流动厕所
Is that understood? Loud and clear, sir.
够清楚吗很清楚长官
Knock, knock.
我来啦
And there she is. Ooh, hoo-hoo.
说美女美女到哦呼呼
Look at those stems. Mom?
瞧瞧这大美♥腿♥ 妈
Michael, what a sweet surprise.
Michael 真巧啊
I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.
我好像半辈子都没见着你了
Mom, what's with the getup?
妈你这是什么打扮
Oh, you know I like to look nice.
你知道我喜欢美美的
Murph wanted to take me to lunch,
Murph要带我去吃午餐
but I though't I'd pack us a little picnic instead,
但我觉得弄点小野餐更好
if that's okay.
你觉得呢
Oh, that's more than okay.
哦我觉得好极了
That's perfect.
真完美
What a sweet, considerate woman...
你真是个体贴温柔的
you are.
小甜心
You're a lucky man, Biggs.
你真幸运 Biggs
Yeah, lucky.
是可幸运了
I think I need a little air.
我出去透透气
I'm getting kind of light-headed.
有点头晕
Do you like breasts or legs?
要胸还是腿呀
Can I decide after I eat the chicken?
我能吃完这鸡再考虑吗
Oh!
哦色鬼
Wake up. Wake up.
清醒醒醒
Oh, God, it's real.
哦天呐是真的
No, they're here, Murph.
他们在这呢 Murph
She's setting the table and he's upstairs
一个在摆桌子一个在楼上
trying to get rid of that raccoon.
赶走浣熊
Raccoon, my ass.
浣熊个屁
I'm on the phone.
我打着电♥话♥呢
Can you swing by later for coffee and dessert?
你等会过来喝咖啡吃甜点吗
I'll save you a big piece.
我给你留一大块
Oh, you're terrible.
哦你真坏
No, I was talking about pie.
才不我说的是派
Oh! You're terrible!
哦你个色鬼
All right, we'll see you later.
好的一会见
Possible point of entry is sealed with chicken wire.
所有入口都用铁丝网围起来了
You shouldn't be bothered by raccoons again, Mom.
再也不会有浣熊打扰了妈