迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S03E07

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:49 p.m.

All right, don't sneeze on me,
不要冲我打喷嚏
cough on me or fart on my leg.
咳嗽或对着我大腿放屁
Molly?
Molly
No, your wife called first dibs on the couch,
不是你老婆抢了沙发
and since Joyce won't let me in our bed,
然后Joyce不让我和她睡
I have to bunk with patient zero.
我只好跟你这头号♥传染源凑合下了
Are those your feet under my legs?
是你的脚在我腿底下吗
You mind? They're ice cold,
介意啊脚要冻僵了
and your calves are like a fire pit.
而你小腿跟火炉一样
Actually, the cold's kind of nice.
实际上凉的还挺舒服
What's the big deal about a piece of paper?
一纸婚书有那么重要吗
She knows I love her. What more does she want?
她知道我爱她她还想干嘛
Will you hand me my water?
能麻烦把水递给我吗
Absolutely.
当然
Wow.
喔
Like leaning over a 300-pound microwaved burrito.
像靠在300磅的微波卷饼上一样
Thirsty.
渴
Yeah, yeah, sit up a little.
来坐起来点
Don't drink too much,
别喝太多
'cause I'm not gonna give you a piggyback ride to the can.
我可不会把你扛到厕所去
I love bendy straws.
我喜欢弯曲的吸管
Yeah, women have to complicate everything.
为什么女人总喜欢把事情弄复杂呢
You ever notice the only time they're happy
你注意没她们唯一开心的事
is when they're making you miserable?
就是把你给搞郁闷
Crazy straws are fun, too.
圈圈吸管也很好
Do they still make those?
不知道停产没
Men don't like all that drama.
男人不喜欢乱七八糟的
We're simple folk.
就喜欢简简单单
You know, sometimes I think gay guys really got it made.
有时候我真觉得基友在一起很适合
Okay, move your feet.
行了脚挪开
I'm just saying, with women, a guy'word isn't enough
我就这么说说对女人来说诺言总是不够的
remember when I promised you tickets to the bears game?
记得我承诺给你熊队比赛的票吗
Yeah, I do.
记得
And did I make good on that promise?
我兑现了吗
No, you did not.
你没有
And yet, here we are, snuggled up like two bugs in a rug.
看现在咱俩不还是像两只小虫裹在毛毯里取暖么
My life would be so much easier if I liked to drive stick.
如果生活像开自动挡一样那可轻松多了
I think I'm gonna throw up.
我要吐了
Hey, whoa, it's not like you're my type, either.
喔你也不是我的菜好吧
Plus, you could do a lot worse than me.
你还不如我呢
No, I really think I'm gonna throw up.
说真的我要吐了
Oh, all right.
哦好吧
I'll get you a bucket and some ice chips.
我去给你拿桶和冰块来
I'm just saying,
你看看
your wife's downstairs, and I'm up here taking care of you.
你老婆在楼下玩我却在这照顾你
Don't tell me I'm not a catch.
我这么好的基友哪找去
I really hope this is a fever dream.
真希望我烧到做梦了
What the hell?
咋回事
Damn it! Who organized this kitchen?
妹的谁整理厨房♥的
Jose feliciano?
Jose Feliciano
Vince, what are you doing?
Vince 你在干吗
6 o'clock in the morning.
一大早6点的
6 o'clock?!
都6点了
I got to get my birds in the oven.
我得把小鸟都送烤箱里
Birds?
小鸟
They were all out of turkeys,
火鸡卖♥♥光了
so I got nine cornish hens and two chicken fryers.
所以我搞了9只童子鸡还有俩煎鸡锅
How many ladies leaping?
有多少人做饭啊
Apparently none.
就我一个
I'm cooking this whole thing by myself.
整个全我自己弄
Hey, you can't blame mom for being mad at you, Vince.
你也不能怪妈生你气 Vince
You've dragged this engagement out a long time.
你这婚订的也太久了
Hey, I want to marry her.
嘿我想娶她的
I just need to wait for the right time.
我只是想等待好时机
Yeah, and when is that?
是嘛啥时候
When I'm not dead-ass broke.
等我不再破产的
What are you talking about... Broke?
怎么回事破产
I thought your airline pillow business was
我以为你那航♥空♥枕头的生意
"Raking in the do-re-mi."
正步步高升呢
I got knocked out by the giant conglomerates.
被个大企业搞垮了
Turns out big-little pillow totally smothers little-little pillow.
事实证明大大枕很容易打败小小枕
So you didn't have any savings or anything?
那你没点积蓄什么的
That got pretty well chewed through
当我前妻生病时
when my first wife got sick.
积蓄花的都差不多了
Between the hospital bills and home care, I was tapped out.
全是医药费和家庭护理我彻底垮了
Oh. I didn't know that.
哦我不知道这事
Bunny hated hospitals.
Bunny不喜欢医院
It was better for her to be home so I could be with her.
她在家也好我能陪着她
Yeah.
是啊
Well, have you... Have you told mom this?
那你你有跟妈说这些吗
No. I don't want her to think she's engaged to some deadbeat.
没有我不想让她举得自己要嫁给穷光蛋
Besides, I'm gonna turn it around,
而且我会改变现状
and I'll be able to take care of her
有能力照顾好她
in the fashion she deserves.
给她所能的物质需求
So, uh, how much stuffing can you get into one of these cornish game hens?
那么你准备给这些童子鸡塞多少馅料
I pack it in those tiny rumps till they say uncle.
使劲塞直到这些小菊花跟大爷我求饶
Don't just mash 'em; You got to whip 'em
别光捣碎你还得搅一搅
so they're light and Fluffy.
这样才能软绵蓬松
Put your rotator cuff into it.
把胳膊扭起来
Vince, give me a break. I know how to mash potatoes.
别催我我知道怎么做土豆泥
If you say so, but I'm looking at some pretty sizeable lumps.
虽这么说但我还是能看到些土豆块
Yeah, and I'm talking to one.
是我正在和土豆块说话
If you want to do the potatoes, be my guest.
要是不满意你就自己动手吧
I'm in charge of the birds and the pasta.
我是管小鸟和意面的
You're in charge of all the side dishes
你负责小菜
and keeping the liquor flowing.
还有倒酒
Oh, okay, I can handle that.
哦那我挺在行
Hey, I was letting that breathe!
嘿我只是让它透气的
Which is what I'm doing to you thanks to this wine.
那你透的刚刚好
They were all out of black olives,
黑橄榄卖♥♥光了
so I got green ones and soy sauce.
我买♥♥了绿橄榄和酱油
I figured we can dye them like easter eggs.
我觉得我们可以像染复活节蛋那样染它
Her volunteering to help
她自愿帮忙的
is kind of a mixed blessing, isn't it?
不过好像在帮倒忙
That's why I sent her on an errand.
所以我派她去买♥♥东西
She usually gets lost.
通常买♥♥完就迷路了
Crowd's a little bit older than I expected.
这比我想象的要老一圈啊
Yes, I'm guessing several of these people
是我猜这帮人从
were actually at the first Thanksgiving.
第一年感恩节就开始参加了吧
This is probably just the early birds. You know,
我猜这只是第一批
I'm guessing the younger crowd's gonna filter in a little bit later.
比较年轻的应该会稍微晚点出现
Oh, good, just in time to help us load the wheelchairs into the vans.
真好正好赶上帮我们抬轮椅
You know, when I heard it was a singles thing,
我刚开始听到单身派对
I figured it was because they hadn't found a husband,
以为是没有找到对象的
not because they'd buried one.
谁知道都是丧偶的
At least one.
至少一个吧
It's like walking into the "Thriller" Video.
这像是"Thriller"的MV现场
I'm gonna warn you boys off the stuffing.
你们吃馅料的时候注意点
Miss Minerva's half-blind,
Minerva小姐眼神不太好
and those pecans could be anything
这核桃可能不是核桃
from dog treats to kidney medication.
可能是狗粮也可能是肾药
Grandma, where's all the young people?
奶奶年轻人都去哪了
Everybody here is in the triple digits.
这儿的人都上百岁了吧
I should've known you weren't here for good Christian fellowship
我就知道你们穿的花里胡哨的
when you showed up with kunta kinte.
肯定不会为了感谢老天的恩赐
This is actually traditional senegalese formal wear.
这其实是塞内加尔人的传统服饰
Well, then I got a shower curtain you can wear to prom.
那你可以裹块浴帘去参加毕业舞会了
You boys need to get out of here if you're just trying
要是你们是来这把一些单纯的小羊羔
to knock some precious lamb off of her righteous path.
带离正轨的话那赶紧走人吧
Ain't no lambs here.
哪有什么小羊羔