好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E22
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:21 p.m.
What's... Wait, wait, you forgive him?
等等 你原谅了他吗
Yeah, I realized all this anger isn't good.
是啊 我发现这种愤怒并不好
I had to let it all go.
我得放下这种愤怒
No!
不要啊
He's not gonna learn his lesson if you forgive him.
如果你原谅了他 他就没法学到教训了
The only way he's gonna learn a lesson
他唯一学到教训的方法
is through pain and suffering
就是通过痛苦和折磨
and possibly losing a tooth.
也许还得掉颗牙
No, no. He's gonna be my brother-in-law
不 他即将成为我的妹夫
and make an honest woman out of Gretchen.
让格雷琴成为正直的女人
She's not gonna be an honest woman on our wedding night.
我们新婚之夜时 她可不会正直
That's the guy I know and love who's banging my sister.
这才是我认识和喜欢的那个搞我妹的朋友
I do love banging your sister.
我的确喜欢搞你妹
No, the only banging I want to see is you banging his face!
我唯一想看的搞头 就是你冲着他的脸来一发
Oh, that didn't come out right.
这话说出来怪怪的
Gretchen is the most amazing woman I've ever met.
格雷琴是我见过的最棒的女人
I-I just have to scrape together enough money for the wedding.
我得东拼西凑去筹婚礼钱
Oh, I know what you mean-- mine and Lyndsey's
我知道你的意思 我和林赛的婚礼
was costing me a fortune.
花了我一大笔钱
I already paid for the flowers, the cake, the tux.
我已经付了鲜花 蛋糕和西服的钱
Too bad you can't just take his wedding.
真可惜你没法借用他的婚礼
Or can I?
是吗
I was kidding.
我开玩笑啦
Well, why not? I mean, this cup says "Peter" On it,
为什么不呢 这个杯子上有"彼得"
but Peter wasn't there to get it.
但是喝着饮料的不是彼得
I'm not gonna use it. Me and Lyndsey are through,
我用不上了 我和林赛玩完了
so you might as well.
不如送你
You can't mooch a wedding that you just destroyed.
你可不能毁了人婚礼 还占人便宜啊
I know. How great is that?
我知道啊 这真是太棒了
Classic Alan Harper.
典型的艾伦·哈勃作风
Jeff Strongman.
杰夫·斯壮曼
I don't know how I didn't see through it sooner.
我不明白我为什么没有早点看穿
It's such an obviously made-up name.
这显然是个瞎编的名字
Yeah. Jeff.
是啊 杰夫
Mom, this is my fiancee, Gretchen Martin.
妈妈 这是我的未婚妻格雷琴·马丁
It is so nice to finally meet you, Evelyn.
终于见到你真好 伊芙琳
Oh, you, too, dear.
我也是 亲爱的
How far along are you? What?
你怀孕多久了 什么
Uh, my mother assumes that since you agreed to marry me,
我妈妈想着既然你同意嫁给我
you must be pregnant.
你一定是怀孕了
No, I'm not pregnant.
不 你没怀孕
Are you after my money? Of course not.
你想要我的钱吗 当然不是
Estas buscando trabajo en el mundo nuevo?
你是不是在找新工作[西语]
What?
什么
Not looking for a green card, either.
你也不是为了绿卡
You must genuinely like Alan. Yeah.
你一定是真的爱艾伦 是啊
This is uncharted territory for me.
这对我来说是未知领域
I know. She actually loves me for me.
就是啊 她爱的是我这个人
I mean, I had to pretend to be another person
我是说 我得假装成另一个人
to make it all happen, but still.
才能让她爱上我 但这还是太神奇
Oh, that is some ring you bought her.
你给她买♥♥的戒指不错啊
Oh, actually, that's the ring my ex-husband got me.
其实这戒指是我前夫送我的
But I still had it--
但还在我手上
I figured why make Alan buy another one?
所以就不用再让艾伦买♥♥了
My God, you've found your soul mate.
天啊 你找到了你的灵魂伴侣
I know.
我知道
Our honeymoon is at her cousin's time-share.
我们的蜜月是在她表哥分时享用的度假屋
He can't use it, 'cause he had a heart attack.
他不能去 因为他心脏病发作了
We're so blessed.
我们真是饱受祝福啊
Speaking of blessings,
说到祝福
I just want to thank you for raising such a caring,
我想谢谢你抚养了一个如此关怀备至
thoughtful, intelligent son.
体贴周到 聪明伶俐的儿子
Oh, you're serious.
你不是讽刺啊
So, when's the big day?
你们什么时候举办婚礼
Oh, uh, it's next Saturday.
下个星期六
We're just gonna have a small affair here at the house.
我们在家里举办一场小型婚礼
We're trying to keep costs down.
我们要节约开支
Are your parents coming?
你父母来吗
Oh, no, my parents have passed away.
不 我父母去世了
Again, we're so blessed.
再说一次 我们真是饱受祝福啊
So, where are you planning on living after you marry?
你们结婚后打算住在哪里
Oh, we're not in a rush to go anywhere.
我们不急着找地方住
I mean, beach house, no rent...
海滨别♥墅♥ 没房♥租
Don't be ridiculous-- you need your own place.
别傻了 你们需要自己的家
Well, that's easier said than done, Mom.
说着容易办起来难 妈妈
How about for your wedding if I give you a down payment
不如我帮你们的家付首♥付♥吧
towards your own... Oh, I love you, Mom!
作为礼物 我爱你 妈妈
I won't go that far, but thank you.
我不会那么激动 但是谢谢
Walden.
沃顿
Oh, don't worry, Alan's not with me.
别担心 艾伦没和我在一起
Wow, it's amazing how infrequently I actually get to say that.
我真是时不时就要说这句话啊
What's up?
怎么了
I just wanted to make sure you're okay.
我想来看看你有没有事
That's sweet, but I'm fine.
你真好 但我没事
When I get dumped, I usually end up sobbing in a bathtub,
我被甩后 总是在浴缸里哭泣
listening to Michael Buble.
听着麦可布雷的情歌♥
I call it my "Buble bath."
我称其为我的布雷洗浴
You sure you're all right? Yeah.
你确定你没事吗 是啊
I was about to marry Larry,
我即将要嫁给拉里
a guy who once called venetian blind cleaners
他有次叫来了软百叶帘清洁工[威尼斯瞎子]
because he wanted to help handicapped Italians.
因为他想帮助残疾的意大利人
Look, if Alan and Gretchen are supposed to be together,
如果艾伦和格雷琴注定在一起
I wish them the best.
我祝他们幸福
If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me.
如果你需要什么 就立马给我打电♥话♥
Thanks. Okay.
谢谢 好
Siri, remind me to draw a Buble bath tonight.
Siri 记得提醒我今晚进行布雷洗浴
Mm, what's that, Larry?
什么 拉里
You forgive me and you still want to marry me?
你原谅了我 还想娶我吗
Oh, Alan...
艾伦
you never stopped loving me and you want to marry me, too?
你一直爱着我 也想娶我吗
I am the luckiest woman in the world.
我真是世界上最幸运的女人
Everybody, freeze.
大家都不许动
What the hell?
搞什么
Berta, I know where you hide your pot.
波塔 我知道你把大♥麻♥藏哪儿了
Wald-E!
沃力
No...!
不要啊
Now, that's how you deal with a DEA drone.
你就该这样对付缉毒局的无人机
No!
不
It's my robot!
这是我的机器人
I was playing a joke.
我刚才是在开玩笑呢
It was funny.
真好笑
Don't worry, little ro-buddy.
别担心 机器人小弟
We'll get you on life support.
我这就给你接上生命维持系统
Or tech support.
应该说是技术支持系统
Oh, he would've loved that joke.
他肯定会爱死这个笑话的
I lost the head of one of my toys once.
我的玩具也掉过"头"
Of course, I had to go to the emergency room to get it out.
我得去急诊室把它挖出来
Um, listen, I know this may not be an opportune moment,
我知道现在时机不好
but, um, I was wondering,
但我想问问
would you do me the honor of...
你愿不愿意
being my best man?
做我的伴郎
Of course. I would have been hurt if you didn't ask.
当然愿意 你要不这么问我我才伤心呢
Oh, thanks, thanks. Great, man.
太好了 谢了
Uh, oh, and better get your speech ready
快准备一下祝福语吧
for the rehearsal dinner.
今晚要彩排
I'm taking everybody to Souplantation.
我要请大家去吃烤串儿
Fingers crossed we all end up at the same table.
希望咱们能拼到一桌上
Come on, come on, come on. We...
拜托 别这样
we got to go someplace fancier.
我们得去好点的地方吧
Well, I would love to, but I can't affo...
我也想啊 但我付不起...
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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