好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E19
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:20 p.m.
I-I used to date Lyndsey, but when she broke up with me,
我以前跟林赛是一对 但她甩了我
I wanted to meet her new boyfriend, Larry,
我想见见他的新男友拉里
but I didn't want him to know that it was me,
又不想让他知道我的真实身份
so I created a fake persona, Jeff Strongman,
所以我就捏造了一个新身份 杰夫·斯壮曼
but then Larry and I became real friends,
结果我和拉里成了好朋友
and then you came along, and I really liked you,
而你又出现了 我真的很喜欢你
and everything was perfect until you picked up my wallet
在你拿我的钱包付披萨钱之前
to pay for the pizza, which reinforces my one rule:
一切都很完美 这事也印证了我的唯一守则
"Never offer to pay for anything!"
"永远不要主动掏钱"
So nothing I know about you is real?
这么说关于你的事都是假的吗
My-my feelings for you are real.
我对你的感情是真的
And I was telling the truth when I said
我请你搬进来一起住
I wanted you to live with me.
也是发自肺腑
What about your son?
那你儿子呢
Oh, oh, that-that wasn't a lie.
那不算骗你啦
I have a son, just not the guy you met.
我是有个儿子 只不过不是你见到的那个
M.I.T.?
麻省理工学院
L.I.E.
假的
Anything else?
还有别的吗
I take regular condoms, and I put them in the Magnum box.
我用普通号♥安全套 还把它们收在大号♥盒子里
Yeah, I kind of figured that.
这点我猜到了
All right, good-bye, Jeff.
好了 再见了 杰夫
Alan. Whatever your name is.
还是艾伦 随便你叫什么了
Please, Gretchen, Gretchen, don't go, don't go.
求你了 格雷琴 别走
I really do care for you. Oh!
我真的很在乎你
Gretchen, come back!
格雷琴 回来
You have the pizza coupon!
披萨优♥惠♥券在你那里呢
Wow, look at you.
瞧瞧你啊
Now you can look at the ocean and watch porn at the same time.
现在你可以同时欣赏海景和黄♥片♥了
Oh, I don't like looking at naked women.
我不喜欢看裸女
That didn't come out right.
这话说出口不太对味
I use this computer for work.
这台是工作电脑
In fact, it's what paid for this view.
事实上 我就是靠它支付这风景的
This view is free.
风景是免费的
Everything you say is like a bumper sticker.
你说的每句话都该做成车尾贴
Well, I'm just gonna keep on truckin', then!
那我就要加足马力继续说了
Hey, don't forget to coexist.
别忘了共存哦
You know, it's with all the religious symbols?
跟其它宗教符号♥
The star of David and the fish.
大卫星和鱼[弥赛亚犹太教标记]
It's a bumper sticker. Never mind.
就是个车尾贴 算了没事
All right, where-where... where you headed?
你 你要去哪
Carbon Canyon tonight, and then the...
今晚去卡本峡谷 接着...
the road is open, and so is my mind.
道路开阔 我心亦然
Ooh, that could be a bumper sticker.
又是一个车尾贴
Hey, uh, why don't you give me your number?
你把手♥机♥号♥给我吧
We'll have to stay in touch.
我们保持联♥系♥
I don't have a phone.
我没有手♥机♥
That is awesome.
酷毙了
So I guess this is good-bye.
那这就是告别了
I-I guess so.
是啊
Hey, thanks for letting me crash on your couch
谢谢你让我睡在你家沙发上
and for the hot shower.
还让我洗了热水澡
By the way, your staff is so attentive.
顺说 你家人可真细心
I mean, that Barry kid checked up on me,
那个叫巴里的孩子一整晚来看了我
like, five times during the night.
大概有五次吧
All right, you know,
是这样
I-I don't usually say this to people in this house, but...
我不常对这屋子里的人这样说 但是
if you want, you can stay longer.
如果你愿意 可以再住一阵子
You're very sweet, Walden,
你真好 沃顿
but, uh, I gotta get going.
但我得走了
Enjoy your view.
好好欣赏你的风景吧
Hey, Vivian.
薇薇安
Yeah?
怎么
Are you gonna be okay?
你会没事吧
Yeah, I'll be fine.
是的 我会没事的
I mean, this is... this is what I do.
我一直就是个探险家
Okay.
好吧
Walden?
沃顿
Yeah?
怎么
Are you gonna be okay?
你会没事吗
I do...
我愿意
think I'm gonna be okay.
这么想
Okay, I think I, uh, got all my stuff.
好了 我的东西应该都拿齐了
Okay, that is my lamp.
这台灯是我的
Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, but I put a new bulb in it.
是 但是里面的新灯泡是我装上的
So, you know, I'll just wait till this one blows out,
等这个灯泡用坏
then I'll shoot it right back to you.
我就把台灯还你
Okay. Or...
或者...
I'll be back for you.
我会回来找你的
Gretchen?
格雷琴
I'm glad you're here.
很高兴你还在这里
I realized the only thing I actually know about you
我意识到我唯一知道有关你的真实身份
is where you live.
只有你的住处
Well...
这个嘛
Oh, my God, is everything about you a lie?
我的天 你说的一切都是谎言吗
Are you even cheap?
你小气也是假的吗
I am cheap.
我是真小气
Two of the four windows in my car are garbage bags.
四块车窗玻璃 有两块是垃圾袋
Look... look, I know I was an idiot,
我知道我是个白♥痴♥
but-but what I said before about how much I care about you,
但我之前说的我有多在乎你
I-I meant that.
这话是真的
But... you know,
但是
I-I understand if you want nothing to do with me.
你不想再见我的话 我能理解
That's why I'm here.
我来这里就是因为这个
Look, I made my share of mistakes when my husband left me.
我前夫离开我时 我也犯过错
I know how hurtful it can be.
我知道会有多伤心
I know how crazy you can become.
我知道会变得有多疯狂
I mean, I'm sure you Googled me and saw my mug shots online.
我相信你谷歌♥过我 看到了我的疑犯照片
Uh, no. Um...
没有
Well, don't freak out. I was innocent.
别害怕 我是无辜的
According to the state of Illinois.
反正伊利诺伊州说我是无辜的
The point is,
重点是
we all have secrets.
我们都有秘密
So, are you saying that we can get back together?
你是说我们可以和好吗
I'm saying I would like to break up with Jeff Strongman
我是说 我要和杰夫·斯壮曼分手
and get to know Alan Harper.
开始了解艾伦·哈勃
Really? Oh, that's great.
真的吗 太好了
But-but first, I'd like one last moment with Jeff.
但首先 我要和杰夫共度最后一刻
Jeff?
杰夫
Yes? Screw you.
什么事 去死
Oh, God!
老天
Oh, are you okay, Alan?
你还好吗 艾伦
Hey, you.
你还好吗
Hey, you're back.
你回来了
So, I've got good news and I've got great news.
我有个好消息 还有更好的消息
The good news is, I did work it out
好消息是 事情很顺利
so I could stay a few more days.
我可以再多待几天
And the great news is,
更好的消息是
I took my underwear off in the car.
我在车上脱了内♥裤♥
Listen, we need... we need to talk.
听着 我们需要谈谈
Awfully serious for someone
对一个脸上刚被
who just got hit in the face with a thong.
丁字裤砸到的人来说 这也太严肃了
Here's the thing.
是这样的
While you were gone, I met someone.
你离开期间 我认识了一个人
What?
什么
I mean, nothing happened physically.
身体上没接触
It's just, I can't stop thinking about her,
只是 我一直想到她
and it's made me question everything,
这让我质疑一切
including my sanity
包括我的理智
and my interior decorating instincts.
与室内装♥修♥的直觉
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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