好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E16
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:20 p.m.
that no one else wanted to take in.
总有种特别的偏爱
Ho, ho, ho-- somebody is gettin' laid tonight.
某人今晚要滚床单了
Thank you.
谢了
No, not you.
不 没说你
I just found a late night booty call on Craigslist.
我刚在分类广♥告♥网收到深夜约炮消息
Hello, BoobaFett420.
你好啊 波霸·费特420
You know, Barry,
巴里
sometimes the picture isn't who you get.
有时头像非本人
Oh, tell me about it.
可不是
I used your picture.
我用的就是你的照片
Where's Nicole?
妮可在哪
Nicole.
妮可
Yikes.
糟糕
This is gonna be tough. What happened?
你可能无法接受 出什么事了
She's dead. What?
她死了 什么
No, she just blew you off again.
没啦 她只是又放你鸽子了
I was just trying to soften the blow.
我就想让你少受点打击
The second time she canceled.
这是她第二次放我鸽子了
Something's going on.
肯定有什么事
Look, I'm sure there is
她肯定有
a perfectly reasonable explanation.
非常合理的解释
She say anything?
她说什么了吗
Just that she would call you later.
就说晚点会打给你
But on the plus side, I'm available now.
但从好的方面说 我现在有空
Dave and Buster's, party of two.
去戴夫和伯斯特餐馆搓一顿吧 就咱俩
We're not going to Dave and Buster's.
我们不去戴夫和伯斯特餐馆
We're gonna track down my girlfriend.
我们要去跟踪我的女朋友
Now shut up and get in the car.
闭嘴上车
Oh, my God, you sound just like my dad.
天哪 你说这话跟我爸似的
This is impressive.
真厉害
How'd you track her down at the restaurant?
你怎么知道她在这家餐厅
GPS? Triangulate the cell phone signal?
全球定位系统 三角定位她的手♥机♥信♥号♥♥
No, she asked me to make the reservations for her.
都不是 她让我帮她在这家餐厅订座
Look at her in there.
快看她啊
Happy as can be.
这么开心
I'll have an order of seared Walden's Heart.
我要一份烤沃顿心
Hold the trust and honesty.
信任和坦诚就不要了
Okay, okay, let me try one.
我也要演
You know, honey, I'm worried about Bobby.
亲爱的 我很担心波比
His grades have really been slipping.
他的成绩严重下滑
Who are you doing?
你演的是谁
That serious-looking couple in the corner.
角落里那对严肃的夫妇
Well, I'm worried about the fact
我还担心
that you always have to drive the baby-sitter home.
你干嘛老是送保姆回家呢
I'm just doing Nicole.
我扮[上]的是妮可
Well, somebody's doing Nicole, but it's clearly not you.
是有人要上妮可 但显然不是你
Why does this always happen to me?
为什么我总是遇到这种事
Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl,
男孩遇到女孩 男孩爱上女孩
girl breaks boy's heart,
女孩伤透了男孩的心
boy ends up in car with socially awkward friend.
男孩跟死宅朋友坐在车里
Come on, man. You know chicks.
拜托 兄弟 妞就这样
She's probably just playing hard to get.
她可能只是在欲擒故纵
"You can't just show up at my house like this, Barry."
"你不能就这样跑来我家 巴里"
"Where'd you get those pictures, Barry?"
"这些照片哪来的 巴里"
"Stop washing my car in jean shorts, Barry."
"别再穿着牛仔热裤洗我的车了 巴里"
D-Do you have to notify people
你搬进新社区的时候
when you move into a new neighborhood?
需要通知周围邻居吗[性罪犯]
Who's that guy?
那家伙是谁
A waiter?
侍应生吗
Yeah. A waiter who likes to hug.
是啊 喜欢抱抱的侍应生
Oh! Maybe it's Bobby, the son of the serious couple.
也许是那对严肃脸夫妻的儿子波比
Will you stop that?
你能别说了吗
Hey, don't yell at me. I'm not the one cheating on you.
别吼我啊 给你戴绿帽的又不是我
You know, new rule: no more talking.
新规矩 不许说话
You know, honey, I'm worried about the way
亲爱的 我有点担心
the man in that car is treating his friend.
那辆车里的人对待朋友的方式
What you doing?
你在干什么呢
Filling out an application.
填申请表
You're getting a job?
你要申请工作了吗
No, I'm getting a medical marijuana card.
不 我要申请医用大♥麻♥卡
"What is your medical condition?"
"您的身体状况如何"
Stress.
压力山大
Brought on...
由于
by lack of marijuana.
缺乏大♥麻♥
Hey, can I... can I run something by you?
能跟你谈件事吗
I think Nicole's cheating on me.
妮可好像出轨了
Why do you think that?
为什么这么想
I followed her
我跟踪了她
and I saw her with another guy.
看到她跟另一个男人在一起
That can mean a lot of things.
有很多可能啊
Well-well, we were supposed to go out
我们本来要约会的
and then she canceled last minute
但她临时取消了
and then she lied to me about where she was going.
还对她去的地方撒谎了
Bitch be cheatin'.
这贱♥人♥肯定劈腿了
Guess who's dating someone new.
猜猜谁有新对象了
His girlfriend.
他的女朋友
Really? That sucks.
不是吧 这么惨
Her name is Gretchen, and she's amazing.
她叫格雷琴 人超好的
Is this the beginning of the end
你这是终于弃用
of the whole Jeff Strongman thing?
杰夫·斯壮曼这个假身份了吗
Uh, au contraire, uh, she's actually dating Jeff Strongman.
恰恰相反 她的约会对象正是杰夫·斯壮曼
She's Larry's sister.
她是拉里的妹妹
Uh, oh, and, uh, I'm still the best man in Lyndsey's wedding.
而且 我还是林赛婚礼的伴郎
Standard best man stuff:
伴郎标准事项
Throw a bachelor party, give a toast at the wedding,
举办单身派对 婚礼举杯祝福
assume a false identity
使用假身份
and bang both the bride and the sister of the groom.
上了新娘和新郎的妹妹
Wow. When you put it that way,
被你这么一说
it sounds like a soap opera on Telemundo.
这简直是西语电视台的肥皂剧啊
That's what I said!
我也是这么说的
What does Lyndsey think of all this?
林赛怎么想
I don't know. Um, Alan hasn't told her
我不知道 艾伦还没告诉她
and Jeff Strongman doesn't care.
而杰夫·斯壮曼不在乎
How is it that Senor Strongman
凭什么斯壮曼先生
has two girls and I have none?
有两个妞 而我屁都没有
Because you're not willing to lie
因为你不愿意为了上♥床♥而撒谎
and treat women like crap so you can get laid.
将女性当做垃圾对待
You're a romantic.
你很浪漫
You think every girl you meet is your soul mate.
你把遇到的每个女孩都当成是灵魂伴侣
You're ready to move in after the first date.
第一次约会后就准备跟人家同居了
We have a term for guys like you
我们拉拉圈里是这样称呼
in the Lesbian community.
你们这种男人的
It's "lesbian".
就是"拉拉"
Hey. How you doing?
你好吗
Great.
很好
I didn't sleep at all last night.
我昨晚压根没睡
I just kept thinking about Nicole and that guy.
一直在想妮可和那个男人的事
I found my first gray hair.
我发现了第一根白发
Not on my head.
不是"大头"上的
Yeah. I didn't sleep much, either.
我也没怎么睡
I met up with BoobaFett420.
我跟波霸·费特420见面了
Turned out the "420" was in reference to her weight.
原来420[磅]是指她的体重
Look who it is.
瞧瞧是谁来了
I'm really sorry about last night,
昨晚的事真的很抱歉
but there's something I want to talk to you about.
我有点事想跟你说
Is it your pants?
是你的裤子吗
'Cause they're on fire.
因为裤子被火烧了
'Cause you're a liar. What?
因为你是个骗子 什么
We saw you at the restaurant with a guy last night.
我们昨晚看到你和那个男的在餐厅
You followed me?
你跟踪我吗
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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