好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E01
Part 4
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:14 p.m.
You still have your Alan.
你还是拥有你的艾伦
Oh! Don't make it worse.
拜托别雪上加霜了
Oh, God, my granddaughter's gone forever.
老天 我的孙女就这样永远地离开了
Oh, there she is at the bus stop.
她在公车站
Oh, God, my granddaughter rides the bus!
老天 我的孙女居然坐公车
Jenny, what are you doing?
珍妮 你在这里干嘛
I'm trying to get away from you people.
想远离你们这些人
Look, I just wanted to see where my dad lived.
我只想看看我爸生活过的地方
I didn't want to screw up your family.
我不想让你们一家人失和
Uh, for the record,
提醒一下
they were screwed up long before you got here.
在你出现很久之前 他们一家人就不和了
It's true.
这是真的
H-Hey, if I'm screwed up, it's your fault.
如果我不成材 也是你的错
You raised me.
你养育了我
I didn't raise you, Adela did.
我没养育你 你奶妈是阿德拉
Look, I already have a messed-up family.
我已经有一个破碎的家了
I-I don't need another one.
我不需要再多一个
Oh, we're sorry.
对不起
This is just how we express our love.
这是我们表达爱的方式
Through hate. Oh, no, no, no.
通过恨来表达 不是的
W-We don't hate each other.
我们并不恨对方
I mean, the truth is, my mother is an amazing woman.
事实上 我母亲是一位了不起的女性
I mean, she-she raised two kids on her own,
她独力养大了两个孩子
she's a successful businesswoman,
她是成功的商业女性
she has impeccable taste.
她的品味无懈可击
Thank you, Alan.
谢谢你 艾伦
Oh, right.
对
Uh, and Alan is...
艾伦是...
the reason I had my tubes tied.
是我结扎输卵管的原因
Because she knew she would never do better than me.
因为她知道她永远生不出比我更优秀的孩子了
Please, sweetheart, I just found you.
求你了 亲爱的 我刚和你相认
I can't lose you now.
现在我不能失去你
We want you to be a part of our lives.
我们希望你能成为这个家的一份子
What do you say?
你怎么说
Well, if I'm gonna be a part of this family,
如果我能成为这个家的一份子
I'm gonna need a drink.
我需要喝一杯
You hear that, Charlie?
听到了吗 查理
Your daughter needs a drink.
你的女儿需要喝一杯
You're looking the wrong way, Mom.
你应该向地狱看 妈
A toast. To Charlie Harper.
干杯 敬查理·哈勃
My brother, your son, your father, and your...
我的哥哥 你的儿子 你的父亲 你的...
Guy who got hit by a train so I could buy his beach house?
被火车撞死了 我能买♥♥他海边别♥墅♥的人
Sorry, Evelyn.
对不起 伊芙琳
It's okay. I got the commission.
没关系 中介费没流外人田
To Charlie.
敬查理
So, is that the bathroom
我的生命的奇迹就是从
where the miracle of my life began?
这间厕所开始的吗
It is.
是的
Want to see it?
想看看吗
I do.
想
Text a picture of it to my mom.
拍张照片发给我妈
Should be good for some guilt money.
没准能让她内疚寄钱给我
I'll run interference.
我去帮你赶人
All right, everybody out!
大家出来
Woman visiting the place of her conception!
有女士想参观自己被受孕的地方
I can't tell you how relieved I am to finally have an heir.
我终于有了继承人 真是如释重负呀
Wait, what?
等等 什么
She's my granddaughter.
她是我的孙女
I want to provide for her.
我要让她衣食无忧
And since I wasn't around
既然她生命的前25年
for the first 25 years of her life,
我都不在她的身边
it's only fitting that she inherit my estate.
她继承我的财产也是合情合理的
You weren't around for the first 45 years of my life.
我生命的前45年你都不在我身边
You have Walden!
你有沃顿
Oh, oh, do I? Do you see a ring on this finger?
是吗 这上面有婚戒吗
Don't worry, darling.
别担心 亲爱的
There's a little something for you in my will.
我的遗嘱里会留一点给你的
A little something?
一点吗
Look, if you knew
如果你知道
you were gonna get everything,
我死后一切归你
you would've smothered me with a pillow years ago.
你会在多年前就用枕头闷死我了
That is not true.
你这么说就不对了
If I knew I had money coming, I'd hire a professional.
如果我知道我有钱进帐 我会请个职业杀手
How'd it go? Great.
怎么样 非常好
I laughed, I cried.
我笑了 我哭了
I peed.
我尿了
How are you guys doing over here?
你们这桌有什么需要
Can I get you anything else?
还要点什么吗
Yeah, we might need a designated driver
我们可能需要一个酒后代驾司机
to get us back to his beautiful beach house.
送我们回他漂亮的海边别♥墅♥
I'll take you guys. I get off in 15.
我可以送你们 我十五分钟后下班
Great. Thanks.
太好了 谢谢
She's cute.
她很漂亮
Told ya.
我说了吧
Malibu beach house gets you laid every time.
马里布的海边别♥墅♥能让你次次得手
Not every time.
不是次次得手
Oh, my God, this house is amazing!
我的天 这房♥子真是太漂亮了
Well, it's... Yeah.
这房♥子... 对
And look at that view.
看这个风景
It's even better from the bedroom.
从卧室看更漂亮
Want to see? Yeah.
想看看吗 想
After you.
你先请
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
等一下
Where are you going?
你去哪里
Up to show her.
上去为她介绍
Oh, you thought...?
你以为...
Oh, no-no-no-no-no, she's mine.
别误会 她是我的
Next time I'll get two.
下次我要泡两个双飞
What just happened?
刚刚发生了什么事
Charlie's back.
查理回来了
Good morning.
早上好
No, no, not good.
不 不好
I slept in the guest room of my own house,
我在自己家睡客房♥
and I'm pretty sure I still have some of your brother in my ear.
我相当肯定我的耳朵里有你哥的灰
Don't worry, tonight I'll tell Jenny
别担心 今晚我会告诉珍妮
that your bedroom's off limits.
你的卧室她禁止入内
No, there is no tonight!
不 没有今晚
But she's family.
但她是一家人
Not my family.
不是我的家人
And I'm gonna tell her she can't stay.
我会告诉她 她不能留下
Morning. Hi.
早上好 你们早
You girls have a good night?
你们昨晚还好吗
Oh, yeah.
不错
I'm surprised I can even talk.
我真惊讶我还能说话[口♥交♥过度]
You were saying? Shut up.
你刚才说什么 闭嘴
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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