好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E14
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:18 p.m.
If that's the case, I don't know what else to say, Alan.
如果要复合又不结婚的话 我不知道该说什么了
Except...
除了
good-bye.
分手吧
Okay.
好吧
Okay. I mean...
那好
Just so you know, when I walk out this door,
先告诉你 一旦我走出这扇门
I am never coming back.
我就再也不会回来了
This is the last you will see...
这将是你最后一次看见
of Alan Harper.
艾伦·哈勃
Breakup sex?
来一发分手炮吗
Hello.
你好啊
Oh. Sorry about that. Am I in your way?
真是不好意思 我挡着你了吗
The only thing in my way are those pants.
唯一挡着我的是 你的裤子
Oh, gee, sorry about that.
真是不好意思
About the only crack around here I ain't put caulk in.
那是个不需要塞填充物[阳♥具♥]的裂缝[屁♥股♥沟]
All right.
好啦
Look at that. Good as new.
瞧瞧 跟新的一样
Hey, if there's anything around here that needs fixin',
如果这房♥子里有哪儿需要修理
I'll be the one fixin' it.
那肯定是我来修
So if you see something that's broke and bothering you,
如果你看见有什么东西坏了 让你心烦
you just let me know.
记得告诉我
I see something that's broke and bothering me.
我看见有东西坏了[破产] 让我觉得心烦
I'm not in the mood, Berta. I just got dumped.
我没心情跟你开玩笑 波塔 我刚被甩了
Oh. What happened?
发生什么事了
Well, you know, I confronted Lyndsey about breaking up with Larry,
我去质问林赛为什么跟拉里分手
and it blew up in my face.
结果就自作自受了
Alan, Alan, Alan.
艾伦呀艾伦
You know, relationships are a lot like woodworking.
恋爱就跟木工活一样
There's a certain way that things fit together,
有一种特定的方法能让各部分组合在一起
and if you force it, it splinters and falls apart.
一旦你强迫它 它就会裂开 然后散掉
But if you take your time, follow instructions,
但如果你肯花时间 按说明书一步步来
you build something beautiful and solid,
那你建出来的东西就会又漂亮又结实
something you can be proud of.
并能让你深感自豪
Like this here elegant cedar birdhouse.
就像这个漂亮的雪松鸟屋
What does this have to do with me and Lyndsey?
这玩意跟我和林赛有什么关系
Nothing.
没关系
But how cool is it I built this?
但这鸟屋是我盖的 很酷吧
It's even got a guest room for the Alan birds.
甚至还给艾伦鸟留了一间客房♥哦
If you listen real close, you can hear them.
如果你贴近仔细听 你能听到它们的声音
Cheap, cheap.
唧唧 我们都爱占便宜
Isn't this great?
是不是很棒啊
What's cooler than going to a strip club in the daytime?
有什么能比白天来脱衣舞俱乐部更酷
The girls aren't always hot,
虽然白天班小妞比较次
but the mozzarella sticks are.
但它们的起司条却一如既往好吃
Uh... yeah.
唉 是啊
You sound like me two weeks ago.
你听起来就像两周前的我
I made that noise every time I heard the name "Lyndsey."
我每次听到"林赛"两个字 都会忍♥不住叹气
Yeah, that's it.
没错 就这样
What's going on?
发生什么事了
To be honest, I, uh...
老实说
had a bit of a breakup myself.
我自己也算是被甩了
Oh, geez. Mm.
天啊
And here I am whining about my problems.
而我却只会抱怨自己的问题
I'm sorry, Jeff.
对不起 杰夫
If I have a flaw, it's that sometimes
如果我有缺点 就是有时候
I'm not aware of things that are going on around me.
对自己身边发生的事情不是很敏感
It's actually one of the things I like most about you.
这其实是我最喜欢的你的一点
So, what happened between you and your girl?
你和你女朋友怎么了
Well, she wanted to get married,
她想结婚
and I'm just not sure I'm ready. No way!
而我却不确定我是否准备好了 不是吧
That's the same reason I lost Lyndsey.
我跟林赛分手也是因为这个
It's like we were dating the same woman.
感觉就像我们在跟同一个女人约会
It's exactly like that.
正是如此
So, do you miss her? Are you kidding?
那你想她吗 开什么玩笑
I mean, she's the only one for me.
她是我命中注定的另一半
I mean, she's the one who brings me up when I'm down...
当我处于低谷[疲软]时 是她让我站[硬]了起来
Whoa. Hello, future Mrs. Strongman.
哇 你好 未来的斯壮曼太太
So, what are you afraid of? I don't know.
那你在怕什么 我也不知道
It's just such a big commitment.
婚姻是一个很重大的承诺
Bottom line: do you still love her?
关键是 你还爱她吗
Yes, I do.
当然爱
Then you got to get her back.
那你得把她追回来
Don't make the same mistake I did.
不要犯跟我一样的错误
Yeah, maybe you're right.
或许你说得对
I know I'm right. Chances like this
我知道我是对的 像这样的机会
only come along once in a lifetime.
每个人一辈子只有一次
I'm gonna do it, Larry.
我要去把她追回来 拉里
I am gonna ask her to marry me.
我要去向她求婚
That-a-boy! And when things work out,
乖孩子 等你成功了
I'm gonna be the best man at you and your girl's wedding.
我要在你们的婚礼上 给你当伴郎
Well... we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
等到了那一步再说这个问题吧
Want a private dance? Oh, sorry, I can't.
想单独来一曲大腿舞吗 抱歉 不了
I have a date with destiny.
我跟命运有约了
Destiny's off today.
"命运"今天没来上班啊
Oh, no, I-I meant, uh, uh... Never mind.
不 我是说 算了
Why don't you take my friend. It's on me.
你去我朋友腿上跳好了 我付钱
Oh, I only have a 20.
糟糕 我只有20块
Uh, you know what?
不过算了
I think seven's fair.
我觉得7块就行了
Walden?
沃顿
Sorry, ladies!
对不起 女士们
Man at work!
男人在工作
Wh-What are you doing?
你在做什么
Well, it's a little technical for the layperson.
对外行来说 技术性太强
What the hell, let me walk you through it.
管它呢 给你们解释解释
What I'm doing is sanding and re-staining,
我在磨光和重新上色
when I recognized some dry rot and termite damage.
当我看到有地方干腐和被白蚁损害时
And I thought to myself, what the hell,
我就想 管它的
I got a couple hours--
老子有的是时间
why don't I just rebuild this bad boy from scratch.
不如我从头开始 重新建一个
The bubbles tickle my nose.
泡泡让我的鼻子好痒
Okay, you know what? You got to stop building things.
知道吗 你别再造东西了
I was wrong-- you are so manly
我错了 你太男人了
that if I were straight, I'd totally bang your brains out.
如果我不是拉拉 我绝对上到你喊娘
Well, of course you would, sweetheart.
你当然会了 甜心
But I'd probably sleep with you once
但我或许上你一次后
and then never call you again.
就再也不给你打电♥话♥了
Hold still, please.
请别动
Yep, they're level.
没错 是一样高的
I'm just gonna rub some dirt in it and keep going.
我会涂点泥巴继续干活
Walden! Hey...
沃顿
What are you doing?
你在做什么
Oh, this? Well,
这个吗 好吧
it's pretty technical for the layperson.
对外行来说 技术性太强
What the hell, let me just...
管它呢 我来给你...
No, doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
不重要 不重要
Uh, I-I got big news.
我有重大消息
I am gonna ask Lyndsey to marry me.
我要向林赛求婚
Are you serious?
你说真的吗
Yeah, I just have to get a ring.
对 我买♥♥枚戒指就成
I got a ring you could have.
我有枚戒指你可以用
The one I proposed to Zoey with.
我向佐伊求婚的那枚
I don't know, that ring didn't work.
行吗 那枚不管用
Neither do you.
你也不管用啊
Touche?
一针见血
Well, I can't believe my best friend's getting married.
真不敢相信我最好的朋友要结婚了
All right, come on, bring it in.
来吧 抱抱
Man hug.
爷们的拥抱
Oh. Oh. You smell.
你好臭
Oh, yeah. It's awesome, isn't it?
对 味道好赞 对吗
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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