好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E04
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:16 p.m.
I've already had two naps and three Red Bulls.
我都小睡两回 外加喝了三瓶红牛了
Uh, my brother Charlie had a great trick for staying awake.
我哥查理有个保持精神的妙招
Two hookers and an eight ball.
两个妓♥女♥加一颗撞球
I'll pass.
不用了
What's with the bag?
你提着包要干嘛
Oh, my God, are you moving in with Raul?
天啊 你要搬去跟劳尔住了吗
No, Lyndsey felt guilty about last night
不是 林赛对昨晚的事情感到抱歉
and Larry is on a business trip,
而今晚拉里出差了
so she is treating me to a romantic rendezvous
她就请我去一家海边四星旅馆
at a four-star hotel at the beach.
来一场浪漫的私会
Oh, come on, man.
不是吧 兄弟
She's treating you like a piece of meat.
她就帮你当一个玩物而已
I know, it's great.
我是到 爽歪了
Plus, I have already masturbated so I can hit the sweet spot
我还先打了一回飞机 晚上能搞到她
between "You're done already?" and "Enough already."
喊出"你搞完了没"与"放过我吧"的境界
Enough already.
放过我吧
Don't worry, I'll talk to her.
别担心 我会跟她谈的
Okay, well, good luck.
好吧 祝你好运
And give Lyndsey my best.
帮我跟林赛也问个好
Sure, right after I give her my best.
在我赏完她我最"好"的那一炮后吧
Boo-ya!
牛吧
Hi.
你好吗
Oh, so you did decide to show up tonight.
你终于千呼万唤始出来啦
I know. Sorry I'm late.
抱歉 我迟到了
It's fine.
没事
You just turned happy hour into miffed hour.
你让开心时段变成伤心时段了
And four-dollar pot stickers into eight-dollar pot stickers.
而开心时段半价的锅贴也恢复原价了
Well, the important thing is I'm here now,
最重要的是我现在到了嘛
and you look really nice tonight.
你今晚看起来也好帅
Did you do something different with your hair?
你是不是弄了头发
You don't have to flatter me.
少拍我马屁
You know I'm gonna give it up.
你明知道我会心软
But we do need to talk.
但我们还是得谈谈
I said I was sorry.
我说对不起了
It's not just that; it's everything.
不指这件事 是所有事
It's the... it's the sneaking around,
是这私下偷♥情♥
it's the curt texts, it's the going Dutch.
短♥信♥也得小心发 还有各付各的钱
Alan, you know this is complicated.
艾伦 你知道状况很复杂
I have a boyfriend.
我有个男朋友
Yes, and I have feelings.
我也有个小心肝呢
And I am feeling disrespected.
我的小心肝觉得好不受尊重
I hear you,
我明白你意思了
and I will work harder to make sure that
我也会努力不让你觉得
you don't feel taken for granted.
自己被玩弄占便宜了
Thank you.
谢谢
Now, why don't we go up to our room
现在我们何不上房♥间
and respectfully disrespect each other?
然后在尊重对方的情况下 "做"些不敬的事呢
Ooh, someone wants a spanking.
看来有人想被打屁屁哦
I know.
对啊
Can it be me this time?
这次能不能让我来
Oh, yeah, we can play naughty school girl
好啊 我们可以玩淘气学♥生♥妹♥
and no-nonsense math teacher.
和严肃数学老师的戏码
Oh, no.
不是吧
Oh, yes, 138 divided by two is 69. No.
138除以2等于69[体♥位♥] 不是这个
It's Stephanie Chapman.
斯蒂芬妮·查普曼在那边
Shh. Maybe she won't see us.
别出声 或许她不会看见我们
Lyndsey, Alan!
林赛 艾伦
Stephanie, hi.
斯蒂芬妮 你好啊
Oh, wow, uh, l-look at you, you look great.
哇 瞧瞧你 看起来变化真大
I should. I got the lap-Band,
当然 我做了胃束带手术
and I dropped 172 pounds.
然后减了156斤
Good for you.
太棒了
Hold your applause till the end.
等我把话说完 你们再惊叹
This is the end.
这就是完结[屁♥股♥]的地方
So, what are you two doing here?
你们俩在这里干什么
Oh, well... There...
这个嘛
Are you guys back together? No, no,
你们俩复合了吗 没有
we're just... Did you split up with Larry?
我们只是 你跟拉里分开了吗
No, Alan and I are just friends and...
没有 我跟艾伦只是朋友而已
Wine, hotel?
葡萄酒和酒店
I smell a hookup.
我闻到了"偷腥"的味道
Oh, we are... we are definitely not together.
我们绝对没有在一起
Wh-What you smell are eight-dollar pot stickers.
你闻到的腥味是8块钱的锅贴味吧
So, wh-what brings you here?
那你来这里干嘛
Uh, there is a singles' mixer,
这里有单身交谊会
and this former fatty is looking for a sugar daddy.
这位前胖妞想来这里找个干爹
Make sure he's a-a sugar-free daddy.
你要确保你的干[甜]爹是无糖的
You are adorable. I could just eat you up.
你真可爱 真想一口吃了你
I don't know, I'd probably just taste like chicken.
我的肉可能吃起来像鸡肉
I'll bring the biscuits and you bring the gravy.
那我出饼干 你出肉"汁"
Okay, I'm gonna leave you two "Friends" alone.
好了 我就不打扰你们俩"朋友"了
Hashtag "Suspicious."
"可疑的朋友"
Great seeing you. You, too.
很高兴见到你 我也是
Oh, take care. I know you're gonna hate to see me go,
保重 我知道你不想我走
but you're gonna love watching me walk away.
但你肯定会喜欢看我走时销魂的背影
Oh, God.
天啊
She is the most annoying woman on the planet.
她是这世界上最讨人厌的女人
Yeah, she is horrible.
对啊 她太可怕了
You have to go out with her. What?
你一定要跟她约会 什么
She totally suspects we're having an affair.
她在怀疑我们俩在偷♥情♥
The only way to convince her we're not a couple
唯一让她相信咱俩不是一对的方法
is for you to ask her out.
就是你跟她约会
No.
不要
Forget her stomach.
先别说她的胃了
They should've stapled her mouth shut.
医生应该把她的嘴巴缝起来
That's exactly the problem.
这就是问题所在
She'll tell Larry.
她会告诉拉里
Oh-oh, no, no,
不会的
there-there has to be an easier way.
肯定有更简单的方法
Can't I just kill her?
我不能直接杀了她吗
It'd be a much smaller grave to dig now.
现在杀她灭口 坑都不用挖那么大了
I'm serious,
我是说真的
if you ever want to have sex with me again,
如果你以后还想跟我上♥床♥
you will ask her out.
就得跟她约会
Oh, fine, fine, I'll-I'll ask her out.
好吧 我会跟她约会
Now let's go upstairs.
那我们先上楼吧
Oh, it's not gonna happen.
不行了
She's right over there.
她就在那边呢
I'm going home.
我要回家了
But-but I thought we were gonna...
但我以为我们要...
Good-bye.
再见
Wow, this is a beautiful house!
这房♥子太漂亮了
Who lives here?
这是谁的家
You do.
你的
Whoa, I must be rich!
哇 那我一定很有钱
You are.
你就是啊
Oh, yeah!
太棒了
Whoa, my fingers are glowing!
我的手指在发光
I'm so rich I have rainbow fingers!
我有钱到拥有彩虹般的手指
Hey, let's get some music going.
来点音乐
Yeah! Yeah!
好的 好
This is the greatest song I've ever heard!
这是我这辈子听过最棒的歌♥
Walden? Jenny?
沃顿 珍妮
It's 3:00 in the morning.
现在都凌晨3点了
I know, and I'm still awake!
我知道 我居然还醒着
And I'm still wasted!
而我居然还醉醺醺的
Oh, no, your fingers aren't glowing!
天啊 你的手指怎么不发光
Oh, that's because he's poor.
因为他是穷♥人♥
Oh, I am sorry, Alan.
对不起 艾伦
Your skin is so soft.
你的皮肤好柔软
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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