好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E05
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:16 p.m.
No, no, no. You're right. I'm-I'm gonna tell her that...
不不 你说得对 我会告诉她
I want more, you know, that I'm not just a, you know,
我要更进一步 我不只是一根
human vibrator.
人类电动棒
Although... how cool would that be?
如果我真是的话 那一定酷毙了
How bad must this Larry guy be in bed?
这个叫拉里的家伙床上功夫是糟到什么程度啊
That was amazing.
真是太棒了
Tell your friends.
麻烦广而告之
Although, were you buzzing at one point?
不过你中间还发出嗡嗡的震动声吗
Oh, yeah, sorry.
是的 抱歉
I was just trying something new.
我只是在试新招而已
No, no, whatever you did definitely worked.
没关系 你的新招很有用
Alan Harper, pleasing women since 2003.
艾伦·哈勃 从2003年开始就给女人带来欢愉
That's when I got divorced.
那是我离婚的那一年
You always make me laugh.
你总是让我笑
If that's the case, then be with me all the time.
那这样的话 你就一直跟我在一起吧
What?
什么
I want you back. I'm tired of being the other man.
我想跟你复合 我受够了当第三者
Oh, don't do this. We're having such a good time.
别这样 我们现在不是挺开心吗
Exactly. We have the best sex, I-I make you laugh...
就是啊 我们性生活很棒 我能让你笑
Often simultaneously.
这两者经常是同时的
What could Larry possibly give you that I don't?
拉里能给你什么 是我不能给你的
There's just something about him.
他就是有一些特别
You'd have to know him to understand.
你要了解他才会明白
He-he satisfies a different part of me.
他满足我的另一部分
Point to it and I'll buzz it.
告诉我哪里 我去震一下
Alan, I know this is hard on you.
艾伦 我知道这对你来说很难
And, yes, I know I said "hard on."
没错 我知道我说了"很难[硬]"
I just want to see more of you.
我只是想多点看见你
Okay, how about this?
不然这样好了
Larry takes spinning classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights.
周二和周四晚上拉里去单车健身
You can see more of me then.
那两晚我可以跟你多待会儿
Fine.
好吧
But I am not gonna be at your beck and call forever.
但我不会永远都随叫随到
I have my dignity.
我也是有尊严的
That would carry more weight
要是不♥穿♥拉里的内♥裤♥的话
if you weren't wearing Larry's underwear.
这话还稍微有点可信度
Well, the joke's on you.
说错了吧
This is Walden's underwear.
我穿的是沃顿的内♥裤♥
You have a second?
能占用你一秒时间吗
I just finished my second.
我刚喝完两杯[一秒]
What I need is a third.
你该给我第三杯
I will fill your cup, but I will fill it
我会给你斟满 但是我会用
with knowledge, potential and opportunity.
知识 潜能和机遇斟满你的酒杯
But bourbon makes me feel smarter, prettier and taller.
但是波旁酒让我自我感觉更加聪明 漂亮 高挑
What is this?
这是什么
A friend of mine teaches an acting class,
我一个朋友在教表演课
and there is a spot for you. Really?
班上还有名额哦 真的吗
Yeah, this guy's the best.
当然 他非常厉害
Here, check out his credits.
他的演出经验非常丰富
CSI, urinating bum number three.
《犯罪现场调查》中饰演撒尿流浪汉四
Dexter, headless victim number two.
《嗜血法医》中饰演无头受害人二
That ain't easy.
很难演的
Why are you doing this?
你为什么要让我上课
'Cause I like you.
因为我喜欢你
And...
而且
I don't want you to wake up one day and realize
我不希望有一天你醒来发现
that you've wasted your life
自己虚度一生
and you have nothing to show for it.
什么成就都没有
What I'm saying is,
我的意思是
I don't want you to turn out like Alan.
我不希望你变成艾伦那样
I don't want two Alans.
我不想有两个艾伦
I can't have two Alans.
我也承受不起有两个艾伦
Okay, all right, all right, all right. Calm down.
好吧 好吧 冷静一点
I'll-I'll go to the class, okay?
我去上课 好吧
Thank you.
谢谢你
Uh, but you're gonna pay for it, right?
但学费你来付 对吧
Oh, it's starting already.
已经开始有艾伦的雏形了
Alan, Larry's at spin class. Where are you?
艾伦 拉里去健身了 你在哪儿啊
I can't make it. I-I think I've got food poisoning.
我今天去不了 可能食物中毒了
Oh, no. What'd you eat?
怎么回事 你吃什么了
Well, I had some crappy crepes,
我吃了点劣质薄饼
and now I've got some crepe-y craps.
现在要拉薄饼稀屎了
Oh, that's awful.
太倒霉了
I hope you feel better.
祝你赶快好起来
Thanks. Me, too.
谢谢 我也希望好起来
Tonight I'll be hugging the toilet,
今晚我只能抱着厕所了
but I'll be thinking of you.
但我心里想的是你
Bye.
再见
Um, hey, is this bike taken?
这辆自行车有人用吗
Nope, help yourself.
没 请自便
Great. First-timer.
太好了 我是第一次来
Welcome. I'm Larry.
欢迎你 我是拉里
I'm... Jeff.
我叫...杰夫
Nice to meet you, Jeff.
很高兴认识你 杰夫
So, you're a newbie, huh?
你是个新手对吧
Well, yeah, how hard can it be?
对啊 不过这有什么难的
It's just riding a bike.
不就是骑自行车嘛
I used to have those same exact shoes.
我以前也有双一模一样的鞋
Even had a hole in the same spot.
连破的位置也一模一样
Well, I've got my eye on the ones you're wearing.
你现在穿着那双我也看中了
Isn't this great?
感觉很棒吧
Kill me!
简直要命啊
You got this.
你可以的
The only thing I've got is a blister
我唯一的"可以"感觉到的是
in the space between my balls and my ass.
屁♥股♥和蛋蛋之间磨起了水泡
Come on, Jeff. Don't quit!
加油 杰夫 不要放弃
You can do it!
你能做到
I can't.
我不能
Yes, you can!
你行的
You can keep it up for a few more seconds!
你再坚持几秒钟
I'm doing it!
我做到了
I'm doing it! It's working!
我做到了 真的有用
I'm a maniac!
我是运动狂人
I'm a maniac!
我是运动狂人
Attaboy. Don't go soft on me!
好小子 不用让着我
Finish strong!
加油到底
I was pedaling toward the light.
我朝着光明一直蹬啊
It was so beautiful.
那场景太美了
My pop-pop was there.
我爷爷在那儿
He was smoking his pipe.
他抽着烟斗
It smelled like cinnamon and cherries.
有桂皮和樱桃的味道
Come on. Let's get you off this bike, Jeff.
下来吧 杰夫
Who's Jeff?
杰夫是谁
Boy, you really are out of it.
看来你真是累坏了
Come on, we'll get you some water.
过来喝点水吧
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're still clipped in there!
等一等 还没解开固定带呢
Pop-Pop, help!
爷爷 救我
Don't worry. I got you. I got you.
别担心 我救你 我救你
Oh. You're so strong.
你好强壮
I feel so safe.
我觉得好安全
That was so much harder than I thought.
蹬车可比我想象得难多了
But you did it.
但是你做到了
Uh, well, yeah, thanks to you.
对啊 多亏了你
Nice job, Larry.
表现不错 拉里
See you Thursday? You know it.
周四来吗 当然了
I can see why you like these cycling classes.
我知道你为什么喜欢蹬车健身了
Wouldn't mind taking her on a Tour de Pants.
载她蹬一次裤子之旅吧
That's funny. But I actually got a girlfriend.
有意思 但我有女朋友了
Hey, I've got towels at home.
我家里也有毛巾啊
Doesn't mean I'm not taking a couple of these with me.
但不代表我不能拿两条这里的
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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