好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E04
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:16 p.m.
What you working on?
在忙什么呢
Anything interesting?
有啥有趣的吗
Yeah, actually.
其实还真有呢
I'm-I'm building a new algorithm
我在编构一个新算法
that weights search results...
来衡量搜索结果...
I'm gonna get laid.
我今晚要开"搞"啦
Congratulations. Which hand are you going to use?
恭喜你啊 今晚用哪只手呀
That's, uh... that's funny.
这话其实挺好笑
Because, um, you know,
因为
if someone were to look at the two of us,
如果让别人看我们两个
they'd probably think
他们一定会觉得
I'd be the one sitting home, on a Friday night
我会是那个周五晚上寂寞在家
babbling on about some geek nonsense,
嘴里念叨着一些死宅的屁话
and you'd be the one going out to,
而你会是出去跟人...
you know, get laid.
"开搞'的那个
Who's the "Lucky lady"?
谁是那幸运的"被搞女郎"啊
Lyndsey is the lucky...
琳赛就是那个幸运
getting "laid-y."
"被搞女郎"
Doesn't it bother you that after she's with you,
你不觉得她跟你搞完后回家去找
she goes home to her more handsome, successful boyfriend?
比你更帅更有钱的男友 感觉很心烦吗
Why? I do the same thing.
怎么会 我也是这样啊
How did Lyndsey end up with him?
琳赛怎么会沦落到跟他在一起啊
Well, how did I end up with him?
我为啥也沦落到跟他住一起啊
Hey, Walden.
沃顿
Michaela, Heidi, Sarah, this is Walden.
米凯拉 海蒂 莎拉 他是沃顿
He's super hot, super rich and super single.
他超帅 超有钱 超单身
These are my friends, and we are all super high.
她们都是我的朋友 我们也都超嗨
Nice to meet you.
幸会
Hi. Nice house.
你也好 房♥子挺棒
I am so wasted.
我真是醉翻了
What are you guys doing tonight?
你们今晚打算干嘛
Oh, we're gonna play poker.
我们打算打扑克
You want to join?
你要一起玩吗
Yeah, come play with us!
对啊 来跟我们一起玩嘛
It'll be fun. I am so wasted.
超好玩哦 我真的好醉啊
You know what, I-I actually have a lot of work to do,
其实我还有不少活儿要干
and need to get to bed early, but...
所以我得找点睡...
you guys have fun.
你们玩得开心点
We should play strip poker.
我们应该玩脱衣扑克
Yes.
好的
All right, ante up.
好的 开始下注吧
All right, let's get it over with.
好了 你要说就说吧
Tell me all the disturbing details of how you "got laid."
告诉我你昨晚那些恶心人的"开搞"事吧
She never showed.
她压根就没来
She couldn't get away from Larry,
她在拉里那边走不开
so I spent half the night
所以我半个晚上
waiting for her in the parking lot of an ampm.
在一家便利店的停车场外等她
Wow, I'm actually enjoying one of your stories.
我居然开始喜欢听你的故事了
Please, continue.
请继续说
But on the plus side,
但好的是
On 12:01, all the donuts became half price.
在半夜12点1分以后 所有的甜甜圈都半价
By 12:19, I-I had made friends with the guy
在半夜12点19分 我跟住在
who lives in the men's room, Raul.
男厕里劳尔交上了朋友
Is he looking for a roommate?
他有在找合住室友吗
You laugh, but he actually turned the changing table
你就笑吧 但他还懂怎么把换尿布台
into a Murphy bed.
变成折叠床呢
I'm sorry, but if I remember correctly,
抱歉 但我要是没记错的话
last night, you were pretty sure
昨晚你不是很信誓旦旦地说
that you were going to "get laid."
你要出征去"开搞"了吗
But, in fact, you didn't "Get laid."
但其实你没"开搞"成
Are you done?
你够了没
Are you done not "getting laid"?
你"没开搞"够了吗
Seriously, why are you doing this?
说实在的 你何苦这样
Because I get to have sex with Lyndsey.
因为我能跟林赛上♥床♥啊
But you didn't have sex.
但是你也没上到啊
You ended up shame-eating stale donuts
你沦落到跟一个住在男厕里的流浪汉
and talking to a homeless guy in a men's room.
一起吃过期甜甜圈的下场
They were not stale,
它们没有过期
and Raul has a name.
而人家也有个名字叫劳尔
You can't let Lyndsey treat you like this.
你不能让琳赛这么玩弄你
You deserve better.
太不值了
I know. Raul said the same thing.
我知道 劳尔也这么说了
Well, I had a great night last night.
我昨晚倒是过得挺欢
I ended up playing strip poker
我后来跟四位
with four incredibly beautiful women.
超级美丽的女性玩了脱衣扑克
Oh, yeah, I've been on that site.
我懂 我也上过那网站
No, it was Jenny and her friends.
才不是 是珍妮与她的朋友
Wait a sec, is that the charge on my card
等等 这就是我信♥用♥卡♥账单上那笔
for TexasSqueezeEm.Com?
"德州抓两把扑克网站"的费用吗
Wait, you played strip poker with my niece?
等等 你跟我侄女玩了脱衣扑克吗
She was the dealer.
她是发牌员
But she did flop a great pair.
但她也开了"一对"很棒的奶
Walden, Jenny is family.
沃顿 珍妮是我的家人
If you cross that line,
如果你犯了禁忌
I am not gonna be your friend anymore.
我就再也不跟你做朋友了
I mean, I'm still gonna live here,
我还是会继续住在这里
but I'm not gonna be your friend anymore.
但我再也不是你的朋友了
Relax, it was harmless fun.
别紧张 无伤大雅玩玩啦
Look who's got his clothes on. Uh...
看看谁现在穿着衣服呢
I had clothes on last night.
我昨晚身上也有衣物啊
Yeah, you were wearing a sock.
是啊 你昨晚穿着袜子
and not on your foot.
而且袜子还不是穿在脚上
It looked like Santa filled
感觉像是圣诞老人
a stocking at Elton John's house.
把基佬明星家里的袜子塞满了"礼物"
"Harmless fun"?
"无伤大雅"吗
No, she did not see Bennie or the Jets.
她没看到"本尼"或那对喷射机
Hey, we're gonna hang out again tonight
我们今晚还要一起玩
if you want to join us. Yeah, sure.
你想来一起玩吗 好啊
Cool. I'll see you at 11:00.
好 那今晚11点见
11:00?
11点吗
What is it, New Year's Eve?
干啥啊 除夕派对吗
Bring your sock.
带上你的袜子
You're not really going out with them, are you?
你不是真的要跟她们一起出去玩吧
Is this about Jenny? Will you stop it?
就因为珍妮吗 你能别这样吗
I'm not the creepy guy who wants to sleep with your niece.
我不那种会跟你侄女睡的变♥态♥男好吗
I'm the creepy guy
我只是想跟你
who wants to sleep with your niece's friends.
侄女朋友睡的变♥态♥男
And don't you think that's a little sad?
你不觉得这样很可悲吗
I mean, a 35-year-old man
一个35岁的男人
hanging out with a bunch of hot young girls
跟一群跟只想着喝酒 派对
who just want to drink, party, get naked...
脱♥光♥光的年轻美眉鬼混
and anything I say after this point
说玩脱♥光♥ 其他的事
doesn't really matter, does it?
好像也无所谓了 对吧
It doesn't.
的确无所谓
I've never had this in my life.
我这辈子从没这么玩过
Wh-When I was her age,
我在她那年纪时
I'd already dropped out of M.I.T.,
已经从麻省理工休学
gotten married and started my own business.
结了婚然后开创了自己的公♥司♥
I was delivering pizza, going to junior college
我那年纪时是在送披萨 上大专
and dating a melon.
跟香瓜约会
Oh, God!
我的天啊
I called her my little honeydew.
我都叫她"我的小香香"
Walden?
沃顿
I'm up. Let's party.
我醒了 来玩吧
Jagerbombs, bottle service.
喝混酒 订桌开玩吧
What's going on?
你怎么了
I thought you were going out with the girls.
你今晚不是跟小姑娘们出去玩吗
I am, but not until 11:00.
是啊 但得等到11点
What is it... 9:00?
现在几... 才9点啊
How can I be so sleepy?
我怎么就这么困了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表