好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E20
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:20 p.m.
No, no, no, no.
绝对不行
Uh, uh, uh, Walden...
沃顿
Walden...
沃顿
considers himself an artist.
自认为是艺术家
And as far as he's concerned,
在他看来
you're just two strangers meeting in a chiropractic waiting room.
你俩是在整脊等待室里偶遇的陌生人
Uh, any mention of money would just upset him.
提到钱他会不高兴的
I understand.
我知道了
Yeah. Oh, and, uh, here's a diagram of the human body.
这是一张人体图解
If you'd like, you can mark the areas
你要愿意的话 就标出
that you'd like him to give special attention to.
你想让他"特别关顾"的部位
Oh. Oh, my.
天啊
Uh, "X" Marks the G-spot.
G点大大的标记
Oh, oh, good, Walden, uh, you're here.
太好了 沃顿 你在呢
Um, uh, I need your help.
我需要你的帮助
Um, could you keep my client company until I get back?
你能陪陪我的客人等我回来吗
Alan, I'm not here to babysit your clients.
艾伦 我不是你的客户保姆
I can do it.
我可以
No. Uh...
不
No. No.
不行
This is a man's job.
这是男人的活儿
I-I'll be right back.
我马上就回来
Hi. I'm sorry.
不好意思
Uh, Dr. Harper had to take care of something
哈勃医生要去处理一些事
really quick.
很快回来
Is there anything I can offer you?
有什么我能帮忙的吗
Well, that depends.
看情况了
Can I offer you anything...
有什么我能帮忙的吗
stranger?
陌生人
Well, I do see a...
我还真看到
couple things I like.
一些我喜欢的东西
So do I.
我也是
You've got a lovely place here.
你这里真棒啊
I can't wait to see every inch of it.
真是等不及看清每一寸了呢
That might take a while.
那可能要花不少时间
Why?
为什么
Is it big?
很大吗
I've been told that it's quite big.
看过的人说相当大
Wait, wait, we're not really talking about the house, are we?
慢着 我们说的不是房♥子对吗
No, no, we're not.
不 不是的
Yay!
好棒
It's big.
很大
Would you like a tour?
你想参观下吗
I think that is an excellent idea!
我觉得这个主意太棒了
By the way, my name's... Up, bup, bup, bup, bup.
对了 我叫... 别说别说
No names.
不用说名字
Today we are just two
今天我们只是两只
wild elk...
野麋鹿
on the frozen tundra.
在冰冻的苔原上交欢
Ooh, elk. I can do that.
麋鹿 这个我能行
I don't know what's weirder,
我不知道哪个更奇怪
that noise or the fact that it turned me on.
是你的叫声 还是叫声让我有了性趣
Hey, sorry about that.
不好意思
Where's my client?
我的客户呢
How do I say this, exactly?
叫我怎么说呢
I had sex with your client.
我和你的客户上♥床♥了
What?!
什么
I know. And it's not the first one.
我知道 而且不是第一次了
My therapist prescribed that I have meaningless sex
我的心理医生指示说我要通过随意的性♥爱♥
to take care of my codependency issues.
来解决我的依赖症
Oh, my God!
我的天
I know. I'm sorry.
我知道 对不起
Well, look, look, obviously, you know,
听着 显然
I can't... condone this kind of behavior.
我不能宽恕这样的行为
But, you know, if you... if you think it's...
但如果你觉得这样
helping you, I mean, that's really the important thing.
能帮到你 这才是最重要的
It is helping. I feel so free.
有帮助 我觉得好自♥由♥
Do you know what it's like to have sex
你知道和一个不想再见你的女人
with a woman who never wants to see you again?
上♥床♥是什么感觉吗
Yes.
知道
Yes, I do.
太了解了
I appreciate you understanding,
感谢你的体谅
but I'm sure that this has taken a toll on your business.
但我相信这样会砸了你的生意
I... Here.
给
Here's... $200.
这是两百块
Oh, oh, no, you don't have to do that, Walden.
你不必这样 沃顿
No, no. Take it.
要的 拿去
No, I'm not taking your money, Walden.
我不能拿你的钱 沃顿
I insist. No, no, no.
我坚持 不行
Okay, fine.
好吧
Thank you.
谢谢
Think I have another one for you.
又来了一位
I don't know, I think I'm over the whole one-night stand thing.
我想我对一♥夜♥情♥没兴趣了
Come on.
别这样
You said you wanted
你说你想
to get into the casual sex game.
玩随意性♥爱♥的游戏
I got you into the game.
我帮了你这个忙
Now you're telling me you're tired?
现在你告诉我 你累了
The game doesn't work like that.
游戏可不是这样玩的
Even if I wanted to, I'm not sure that I could.
就算我想 我也不确定我能行
My penis looks like one of those
我的老二看起来像
dried-out 7-Eleven hot dogs.
便利店里烤干的热狗一样
Look, I'm not gonna twist your arm or...
我不会扭断你的胳膊
break a finger or anything.
或是掰断一根手指什么的
Bottom line, I just want you to be happy, baby.
总之我只是希望你开心 宝贝
Okay, what-what is the matter with you?
你什么毛病
Why are you massaging me and calling me "Baby"
你为什么给我按♥摩♥ 叫我"宝贝"
and dressed like a gay cheetah?
还穿得像同志猎豹一样
Don't hate the cheetah.
别恨猎豹
Hate the game.
要恨就恨这游戏吧
Okay, you know what?
知道吗
I'm gonna go talk to this woman.
我去和这个女人谈
Mostly 'cause I don't want to talk to you anymore.
主要是因为我不想再和你谈了
Attaboy. Oh, oh, hang on a second.
好孩子 等等
Okay. Now go have fun.
好了 玩得开心点
Oh... my... God.
我的天
That was fantastic.
太爽了
Your partner was right-- you're the best.
你的搭档没说错 你是最棒的
Partner? What are you talking about?
搭档 你说什么呢
The weird little guy downstairs.
楼下那个奇怪的小矮子
Oh, that...
那个啊
He's not my partner.
他不是我的搭档
Oh. Gotcha.
明白了
Anyway, uh, don't share this with your...
总之 别把这事告诉你的
"Not partner."
"非搭档"
Wink, wink.
你懂的
What's this?
这是什么
Oh, just a little tip.
一点小费
For the big one you gave me.
多谢你带给我的巨大享受
Y-You don't have to give me a tip.
你不必给我小费
Yeah, right. Like I didn't have to pay the guy downstairs
是啊 就像我不必付钱给楼下那位
for the "Walden Package."
来享受"沃顿大雕套餐"
You... you paid him?
你付钱给他了吗
It was worth every penny.
这钱花得太值了
Alan!
艾伦
Oh, by the way, I think you might be the one.
对了 我觉得你可能是我的真命天女
Alan!
艾伦
I'm your whore?
我是你的鸭吗
Your whore?!
你的鸭吗
Oh. What? No!
什么 当然不是
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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