好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E17
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:20 p.m.
and Jenny's still living with us.
珍妮还跟我们住在一起
Why... can't... you... hear... yourself?
你怎么就不说说你自己呢
** Summer lovin' *
* 夏日恋曲
** had me a blast *
* 犹如一阵狂风
** Summer lovin'*
* 夏日恋曲
** Happened so fa-ast *
* 让我措手不及
** I met a girl crazy for me *
* 我遇到一个为我疯狂的女孩
** Met a boy cute as can be *
* 我遇到一个帅气无比的男孩
Maybe we should start again.
或许我们应该重唱一遍
Why, was I pitchy?
为什么 我跑调了吗
You are so adorable.
你真是可爱
Oh, and you have broccoli in your teeth.
你的牙齿上有西兰花
Oh... You want to get it for me?
你想帮我弄出来吗
Ooh, a kiss and a free meal.
一个吻和一顿免费的夜宵
Yum.
真好吃
I've never had broccoli and tongue before.
我从来没有试过西兰花和舌头一起吃
I gotta say, I love that hat on you.
不得不说 我真喜欢你头上那顶帽子
You know, it's funny, I gave one just like that to Goodwill.
有趣的是 我捐了一顶一样的给慈善二手店
Yeah, yeah, this is the same one.
没错 这就是你那顶
Well, uh, thanks again for dinner tonight.
多谢今晚请我吃晚餐
Oh, yeah.
是哦
Next one's on you, though.
下一顿轮到你请
Absolutely. Um, speaking of which,
当然 说到这个
I'm not sure we should keep seeing each other.
我觉得我们不应该继续来往了
What? We don't have to go somewhere expensive.
为什么 我们不一定要去高级餐厅啊
Oh, God, you're making this so hard.
天啊 请你不要让我这么难做[硬]
That's what he said!
别的男人也这么说过
Oh, peas, pod.
那说明我们一样
No, it's... it's just, you know,
不是这样的 只是
I'm Larry's best man and you're his sister.
我是拉里的伴郎 而你是他的妹妹
I mean, what if things go wrong and we screw up the wedding?
万一我们进展不顺利 我怕会把婚礼搞砸了
Look, I like you
听着 我喜欢你
and I think you like me,
我觉得你也喜欢我
and if it'll make you more comfortable,
如果这么做能让你觉得好点
we can keep it a secret for now.
我们可以从现在开始转为地下情
I mean, if you're good at keeping secrets.
如果你擅长保守秘密的话
I don't know.
我不知道
"Strongman" in German means "Honest man."
"斯壮曼"在德语里是"诚实的人"的意思
Is that true?
真的吗
Jawohl.
是的[德语]
But I suppose we could keep it...
但我觉得我们可以转为
under ze radar.
地下情[德语腔]
So you know, uh...
对了
Larry and Lyndsey are in Palm Springs for the weekend.
拉里和琳赛去棕榈泉过周末了
They are? Yeah.
是吗 嗯
You want to... come inside?
你想"进来"吗
That's what she said!
那妞也这么说过
This is awesome.
这太棒了
These are the best graphics I've ever seen.
这些是我见过最棒画质的游戏
The cops shot my tires out. Now I'm runnin'.
警♥察♥打爆我的轮胎了 我得跑了
Oh... Wait, this isn't a video game.
慢着 这不是电子游戏
We're watching a car chase on the news.
我们看的是汽车追逐新闻
So I probably didn't score that three-pointer
所以可能我玩篮球游戏的时候
to win the Laker game, either.
也没有投入那个三分球
Are you sure you're not Jake?
你确定你不是杰克吗
I'm not sure.
我不确定
Hey, are you guys really lesbians?
你们俩真的是拉拉吗
Or are you like those "Lesbian" From Craigslist
或者你们是广♥告♥网上的那种"拉拉"
that came over and tied me up and stole my laptop?
会来我家把我绑起来 再偷走我的笔记本电脑
If we weren't, would we do this?
如果不是 我们会这么做吗
Okay, brain, you are high,
好吧 大脑 我知道你很兴奋
but I need you to remember this.
但我要你记住这一幕
Forget calculus if you have to.
必要的话 可以把微积分的空间腾出来
Nobody heard the pizza guy at the door?
没有人听见送披萨的按门铃吗
I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
都说不必我们起身去取吧
Told you we wouldn't have to pay for it.
都说不必我们付披萨钱吧
Is this all you guys have been doing the whole day?
你们这帮家伙整天就在干这个吗
No, we spent an hour
不 我们花了一个小时
trying to find where you hid your bong.
去找你藏的大♥麻♥烟筒
Which knocked me into overtime, FYI.
对了 所以你要给我加班费
Walden, I am loving it here.
沃顿 我喜欢这里
I mean, pizza, lesbians,
这里有披萨 拉拉
weed scavenger hunts...
寻大♥麻♥游戏
Nobody paying rent...
还没人付房♥租
It just keeps getting better.
优点越来越多了
Hey, Barry, can I talk to you for a second?
巴里 我能跟你说几句话吗
Ooh, you're in trouble!
你有麻烦了
Is this why you're here?
你来这里目的就是这个吗
Just to hang out and get high and eat pizza?
就是为了玩 抽大♥麻♥和吃披萨吗
I feel like this is a trick question.
我觉得这是个陷阱题
'Cause I thought you were here
我本以为你来我家
to work on a new project with me.
是为了要跟我研发新项目的
No, no, no, I am!
是啊 我是
I am. Okay, okay, check out this idea:
真的 好吧 听听这个想法
So I was watching Brooke and Jenny make out earlier,
我刚才看布鲁克和珍妮亲热
and I thought to myself,
然后我就想到
what if we filmed lesbians
我们可以把拉拉
doing stuff to each other...
做♥爱♥的过程拍下来
and then we put that on the Internet?
然后把视频放到网上卖♥♥
How has no one thought of that?
怎么以前会"没有人"想到这点呢
I know!
我知道
You know what?
你知道个屁
It's too late for them.
她们已经无药可救了
They're a lost cause.
烂泥扶不上墙
We can hear you.
我们听得一清二楚
I will give any of you... $100.
我会给你们任何一人100块
All you have to do is
前提是你们
come up here and take it from me.
起身来我这里拿
Later. Nah, I'm fine.
晚点吧 这钱我不要了
Do you see that?
看见了吗
Don't be them!
不要像她们这样
I only let you stay here
我让你待在这几天
for a few days to help you transition.
只是作为过渡而已
Okay, okay. I got another idea.
好吧 我又有个想法
Uh... bacon-flavored eggs.
培根口味的鸡蛋
All me and you got to figure out
我们只需想办法
is how to make the chicken and the pig have sex.
让鸡和猪交♥配♥
Well, maybe you could show 'em the lesbian porn.
或许你应该让它们看拉拉黄♥片♥
Wait, wait, wait.
等下 等下
I have an idea.
我有个想法
What if you got the chickens drunk?
如果把那些鸡灌醉呢
Would that work?
能行得通吗
I've gotten laid a lot by getting chicks drunk.
我经常把妞[鸡]灌醉后就上了她们
Hey, Berta, what about you?
波塔 那你呢
You ever been with a woman?
你有跟女人在一起过吗
Have you?
你有吗
There you are.
你在这啊
Get down off that couch, you naughty boy.
快从沙发上下来 淘气鬼
Ooh, a quarter.
25美分
Hey, this hat just paid for itself.
正好抵了这帽子的钱
Give me that.
给我
Drop it.
放下
So, how was Palm Springs?
棕榈泉怎么样
What the hell's going on here?
这什么情况
It-it isn't what it looks like.
事实不是你们看上去这样的
It looks like you're having kinky sex with my sister.
看上去你在跟我妹玩变♥态♥性游戏
Then it is what it looks like.
那的确是看上去这样
I can't believe this.
不敢相信
Me, neither.
我也是
This is the best day of my life!
这简直是我这辈子最棒的一天
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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