好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E13
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:18 p.m.
and then you give it a nice sear,
高速加温封住肉汁
and then you put it in the food processor,
然后放进食物处理器
and you give it a pump
然后按下按钮
three times on chop-- boom, boom, boom--
剁肉模式3下 剁剁剁
and two times on dice-- boom, boom.
切丁模式两下 切 切
Thank you.
谢谢
Is, uh, this the party
这里是派对现场
or the bathroom?
还是厕所
Here. Over here, Tim.
来 过来坐 蒂姆
Thank you.
谢谢
What's with the glasses?
戴啥眼睛啊
You look like Bono.
你以为你是博诺啊[U2乐团主唱]
I was fortunate enough to work with Bono.
我曾经跟他合作过
Yeah, and, uh, at the time, he was married to Cher.
那时候他还跟雪儿在一起呢
I just got back from the eye doctor.
我刚才去看了眼科
Boy, he robbed me blind.
把我敲诈到眼都要瞎了
Can only read the top line of the eye chart.
我只能看到视力检查表的最上一层
It says P.
是个P[与尿尿同音]
Then I have to.
然后我就忍♥不住要去尿尿了
I-I'd like to, uh, to propose a toast.
我有一段祝酒词
Uh, first to Walden
首先要敬沃顿
for putting all this together at the last minute.
这么短的时间内安排了这么好的派对
Well, it was tough, but I managed to get a table
虽然很不容易 但我还是在周四下午3点
3:00 P.M. on a Thursday.
订到一张桌子
To Walden and his wife Alan.
敬沃顿与他妻子艾伦
That is one ugly woman.
他这老婆可真是够丑
Um, my, uh,
我...
my mother and I have had our ups and downs,
与我妈妈有过好日子 也有过争执
but I love her, and I want her to be happy.
但我爱她 也希望她开心
And you, Marty Pepper, make her happy,
而你 马蒂·佩珀 让她开心
which means I love you.
所以我也爱你
I thought we said no broads.
我以为说好了不带女人来的
I had a gay friend who was arrested for sodomy,
我有个同志朋友因鸡♥奸♥被逮捕
and he had the charge reduced to following too closely.
最后他让指控罪名减轻到为"走得太近"
Uh, anyway,
总而言之
um, I want to wish you both the best. Cheers.
祝你们俩一切都好 干杯
Tim needs a drink.
蒂姆来一杯吧
No, no, no, no, uh, I'm driving.
不了不了 我还得开车呢
Marty, last time I saw you,
马蒂 我最后一次见你
we were in a threesome with that cute little redhead.
还是跟一个红发小妞玩3P的时候
What ever happened to her?
她后来怎么样了
I'm marrying her.
我现在娶的就是她啊
Nice girl.
那妞不错
Hard worker.
"干活"很努力
Well, I'd like to say on behalf of all of us,
我想代表在座的各位说一句
getting married?
结婚
What the hell are you doing, Marty?
你脑子进水啦 马蒂
Why do you need seven wives?
你为什么需要7个老婆
You can barely get through nine holes of golf!
你练习高尔夫时 连9个洞都打不完
She's a sweet kid, and I need a little warmth
她是个小甜心 在人生的最后
and comfort at the end of the day.
我想要点温暖和安慰
Have you ever considered a nice piece of toast?
你有没有考虑过来一片烤面包
Uh, well, I would like to say something.
我有话想说
Uh... I might be in the minority here,
我可能是这里年纪最小
but I still believe in love,
但我仍相信爱情
and it's inspiring to know
即使在您这么大的年纪
that even at your age, you can still find it.
还能找到爱情 真是十分鼓舞人心
Now we have two broads.
现在有两位多愁善感的女人了
The kid is right.
这孩子说得对
Nothing is more important than love,
没有什么比爱更重要
except a good opening weekend.
除了一部好电影的首映周末
And salt.
还有盐
Damn it, I really miss salt.
靠 我太怀念盐的味道了
Okay, we're here because we love this man.
我们之所以在这里 是因为我们爱这个男人
You know, not the way you two love each other.
虽然不像两位同志对彼此的那种爱
But...
但
love, n-nonetheless.
两者都是爱
We're also here for the free steak, am I right?
我们也是为了免费的牛排来这里的 对吧
Excuse me.
打断一下
Who is this kid?
这是谁的孩子
He's Evelyn's son.
他是伊芙琳的儿子
Who's Evelyn?
谁是伊芙琳
The woman I'm marrying.
就是我要娶那女人啊
You're getting married?
你居然要结婚了啊
Mazel tov!
恭喜你
Which one of you guys is... Marty?
请问在座哪位是 马蒂
I'm Sugar.
我是小蜜糖
I'm Cinnamon.
我是小肉桂
I'm rich! I'm richer!
我是土豪 我是款爷
Hey, I thought we said no strippers.
我们说过不请脱衣舞娘的
It's a bachelor party; loosen up.
这可是单身派对 放轻松
Hey, uh, Marty, you up for a lap dance?
马蒂 你准备好来一段大腿舞了吗
I haven't been up for a lap dance
我从里根执政时期[1976年]
since the Reagan Administration.
就没有享受过大腿舞了
Governor Reagan's.
那时他还是加州州长
I think I wrote that joke.
这个哏是我想出来的吧
Girls, give him something to remember.
姑娘们 给他点东西回忆回忆
Uh, they're the green ones.
记住 是绿色的小药片
Oh, uh, and don't forget,
被忘了
I'm only paying for an hour,
我只付你们一个小时的钱
so whether you're in the middle of a lap dance or CPR,
时间一到 无论是在跳大腿舞还是在抢救他
you got to get out of there.
你们必须从里面出来
I want to find something Marty will like.
我得挑一件马蒂喜欢的
I wonder if they have edible underwear for diabetics.
不知道这里有没有给糖尿病患者的可食用内衣
Well, they do have something called
这里的确有名为
"I Can't Believe It's Not Body Butter."
"真不敢相信这不是润肤乳"的玩意儿
Hey, you'd look good in these.
你穿这套会很好看
No, dear, Marty would look good in them.
不 宝贝 是马蒂穿起来会很好看
Oh, you guys are kinky.
你们俩好恶趣味哦
If we got any kinkier, we'd upset the animal rights people.
如果我们更恶趣味一点 那些保护动物的人该不爽我们了
So, how about you, Jennifer?
你呢 珍妮佛
Are there wedding bells in your future?
你未来会计划结婚吗
It is legal now.
现在同性恋是合法的了
Oh, don't remind me.
别跟我提这茬
I used to have the perfect get-out-of-relationship-free card.
我以前有着完美的"甩妞"免死金牌
"Oh, I'd love to marry you,
"我真的很想跟你结婚
but darn all that prejudice and intolerance.
可惜这世俗那么多的歧视与偏见
bite me, Supreme Court."
要怪就怪最高法♥院♥"
Well, you never know.
世事难料啊
I didn't expect to find love this late in life,
我也没想到年纪这么大了还能找到真爱
but there's just something about Marty.
但马蒂的确有吸引我的地方
Yeah, there's just 400 million things about Marty.
是啊 他身上有"4亿处"吸引你的地方
Yes, but I would love him
话虽如此 但如果他身家
if he was only worth 200 million.
只有2亿 我也照样爱他
You know, I was really touched
当你邀请我当你的伴娘时
when you asked me to be your maid of honor.
说实话 我当时真的很感动
Well, you're the daughter of my only son.
你是我唯一儿子的女儿
Well, what about Alan?
那艾伦呢
Don't spoil my day, dear.
别破坏我今天的心情 亲爱的
And having you with me is like
让你陪着我就好像
having Charlie around.
查理也来出席了
This will be the only one of my weddings without him.
这将会是我唯一一个没有他出席的婚礼
Well, except the first one, of course.
当然 除了你初次结婚的时候
Oh, no, dear, he was there.
不 亲爱的 他在我肚子里呢
It was the first time we got drunk together.
那是我们第一次一起喝醉
Where's Marty?
马蒂去哪儿了
Nobody likes a stripper hog.
不懂分享妞的男人♥大♥家都讨厌
Oh, speaking of hogs,
说到猪[不懂分享妞]
I once did a show with Miss Piggy.
我又一次跟猪小姐合作节目
You know there's a guy under there?
你知道她的配音员其实是男人吗
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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