好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E01
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:14 p.m.
Bastard.
王八蛋
My mom just called me special.
我妈都叫我"特别的小姑娘"而已
This Henry guy is awesome.
这个亨利太棒了
Did you know I won a spelling bee in fifth grade?
你知道我五年级的时候赢过拼字大赛吗
I didn't!
我自己都不知道
Who's this, Henry's assistant?
这又是谁 亨利的助理吗
Walden, this is Jenny,
沃顿 这是珍妮
my brother's daughter.
我哥的女儿
Really?
真的吗
Hi. Hi.
你好 你好
I, uh, didn't know Charlie had a daughter.
我都不知道查理有个女儿
Neither did I.
我也不知道
He sent her checks, big checks.
他还给他寄大额支票 大额哦
Not that that matters now.
不过这也无所谓啦
Every month!
每个月啊
Hey, am I related
我跟这个
to Abercrombie & Fitch over here?
帅气男模有任何血缘关系吗
No, I own the house.
没有 我只是屋主而已
Oh. I assumed it was Alan's.
我还以为是艾伦的房♥子呢
So does he.
他也这么以为
So, uh, tell us more about you.
多跟我们说说你的事吧
Not much to tell.
没啥能说的
I was born in New York,
纽约出生
got kicked out of a few private schools,
被几所学校踢出去过
tried to become a doctor to make my mom happy,
尝试要读个医生学位让我妈高兴
dropped out, became an actress to piss her off.
后来休学 去当个女演员来气死她
An actress, oh.
女演员啊
Your father loved actresses.
你老爸可喜欢女演员了
Yeah, I was only going to med school
我去读医学院的唯一原因
so I could write myself prescriptions for oxy.
就是能帮自己搞到高档止痛药的处方签
Oh, your father loved oxy.
你老爸可喜欢那个了[止痛药上瘾]
Sorry it took so long.
抱歉让你等了这么久
Here's vodka and two aspirin.
你的伏特加跟两片阿司匹林
Thank God. Oh.
谢天谢地
I was wrong; I am gonna puke.
我之前错了 我想吐
Your father loved to puke.
你老爸也喜欢吐
So, when I was, like, five,
我五岁时
my mom married this total loser named Rob.
我妈嫁给了这个废柴 鲍伯
He moved in with us and never looked for a job,
他搬进我家 然后从不找工作
but he's been sponging off of her ever since.
跟寄生虫一样在我家白吃白喝
Who does that?
怎么会有这种人呀
So, uh, how long you been in L.A.?
你来洛杉矶多久了
Couple weeks.
几周吧
And you got a place to stay?
有地方住吗
He asks, knowing full well she's a Harper.
他知道她是哈勃家的人 还是问了
Yeah, I'm crashing at a friend's house.
我暂住在朋友家里
That's great. Friends are great.
太好了 有朋友真是太好了
You should make some friends, Alan.
你也应该去交些朋友啊 艾伦
So, just the two of you live here?
所以 就你们两个人住在这里吗
Uh, well, my son, your cousin Jake,
我儿子 你堂弟杰克
uh, used to live with us, but he's in the army now.
他以前也住在这里 但他去参军了
Stationed in Japan.
驻扎在日本
Oh, that's impressive.
那很不错啊
Because of the time difference,
因为有时差
he thinks he lives in the future.
他觉得自己住在未来
Maybe we can call him and find out
那我们可以打给他
when this headache's gonna go away.
问问我的头痛什么时候会好
Oh, and, uh, you have a grandmother.
你还有个祖母
Oh, that's great!
那太好了
In theory.
理论上来说是吧
When she finds out she has a granddaughter,
她要知道了她还有个孙女
she's gonna have a heart attack.
估计会心脏病发
You know, I'm gonna call her right now.
那我现在立刻打电♥话♥告诉她吧
This is it.
就是这里
This was your dad's room.
你老爸生前住的房♥间
I always tried to imagine what my dad's life was like.
一直以来 我一直幻想他的生活会是如何
It's weird to finally see it.
真看到了反而有点奇怪
I never met him, but I heard he was quite a guy.
我从没见过他 但听说他活得挺爷们
I heard he was a drunken man whore.
我听说他就是个醉酒男淫♥虫♥
Like I said, quite a guy.
正如我所说 活得挺爷们
So, uh,
所以...
this your and Alan's room? What?
这是你跟艾伦的房♥间吗 什么
No.
不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
不不不 不是
We're not... I'm not...
我们不... 我不是...
The, um... really?
这个... 不是吧
You really don't think I can do better than Alan?
你真觉得我找不到比艾伦更好的人选吗
I don't know.
我不知道啊
Maybe he's got a huge schlong.
说不定他胯下有"巨蟒"
Well, we're not a couple, and he doesn't.
我们不是一对 他也没有"巨蟒"
Which is fine. I mean, not that size matters.
也无所谓啦 大小不是重点
Not that I was looking.
我也不看那个
I'm not gay.
我不是同性恋
So why is he still living here?
那他为什么还住在这里
Well, at first...
一开始...
then...
然后...
I don't know.
我真的不知道
So, um,
所以...
this is where your dad used to sleep.
这里就是你老爸以前睡觉的地方
I got a new mattress,
我换了新床垫
and I replaced the carpets and the drapes
换了新地毯 新窗帘
and pretty much anything that could absorb fluid.
以及所有可能沾上体液的东西
If these walls could talk.
要是这些墙壁能说话多好
They'd probably say, "Can I get a towel?"
那它们估计会说"快给我毛巾擦擦"
So, I mean,
我的意思是
I wish there was more that Charlie left behind.
我也希望查理有留下更多东西
You know, other than Alan.
除了艾伦之外的东西
So...
所以...
my dad stood in this same spot, staring out at the ocean.
我老爸曾站在这个位置 看着外面的大海
I wonder what was going through his mind.
我真好奇他脑海中会有什么
I wonder what he was thinking.
好好奇他当时想着什么
Besides, of course,
当然啦 除了
"how can I nail those two hot surfer chicks out there?"
"我怎么样才能搞到那两个冲浪辣妹呢"
Huh, now I'm thinking it.
现在我也在想了
Oh, please.
拜托哦
With your looks and this house, I'm sure you do fine.
你这长相加这间房♥子 你泡妞肯定手到擒来
Well, you'd think that, but the truth is,
你是这么想 但实际上
when it comes to women, I've never really been much
碰到女人这事情 我从来都没办法
of a casual sex kind of guy.
单纯跟人做炮♥友♥
And every time I do get close to one,
每次我跟那个人越来越亲近
she ends up pulling away from me,
她却开始远离我
and then I wind up back in this room,
最后我又孤单回到这个房♥间
thinking where I went wrong again.
想着我哪里又做错了
Alone.
独自一人
So alone.
好孤单啊
Oh, yeah.
是啊
You're not gay.
你真的不是同性恋
Mom, I have some news for you.
妈 我有个消息要告诉你
Sit down.
你先坐下
Okay, push him off and sit up.
好吧 把他从你身上推开 坐起来
Um, I know this is gonna come as quite the shock,
我知道这消息可能会有点震撼
but it turns out Charlie has a daughter.
反正情况就是 查理有个女儿
Mom? Mom?
妈 妈
Are you dead?
你死了吗
Oh, good.
没死就好
Um, no, I know.
不 我知道
I know, it's crazy, right?
我知道这太突然了
Yeah, no, she's here now.
她就在这里
Well, well, come on over.
你快过来吧
Okay, finish first and then come over.
好吧 你先搞完然后过来
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表