好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S11E04

Part 4 Nov. 18, 2020, 5:16 p.m.

Whoa, somebody's fresh.
某人真没经验
Come on in.
请进
I would love to take you up on that,
我也想进去
but, you know, it's, uh....
但现在已经
6:45...
6点45了
and, uh, I have got to go home
我得回家
and, uh, hit the hay.
上♥床♥睡觉了
Oh, I have hay here.
我这里也有床
And I will definitely let you "Hit it."
我也绝对会让你"上"
That is tempting.
真吸引人
Uh, and I am definitely gonna have to come
如果我是和尚
to terms with that while I'm in the monastery.
我一定为你动了凡心
All right, I get it.
好啦我懂了
You're making excuses
你在找借口
because you're still in love with Lyndsey.
因为你依然爱着林赛
God, no, we're-we're just friends.
当然不是我们只是朋友
Yeah, and I didn't just fart in your car.
我也没有在你车上放屁
It's fine, okay? I get it.
没关系好吗我明白
I just feel bad for her boyfriend.
我只是为她的男友难过
Wait!
等等
Uh, if-if I was still in love with Lyndsey,
如果我依然爱着林赛
would I do this?
我会这样做吗
Do that again, but keep your eyes open and say my name.
再亲一遍这次睁着眼说我的名字
Stephanie? Yeah.
斯蒂芬妮对
Are you sure about this?
你确定要这样做吗
Because once we see it, we can't un-see it.
一旦看了就不能当没事发生了
Yeah, worst-case scenario, it's a video
最坏的情况也就是
of two hot people having sex.
两个俊男美女做♥爱♥的视频
Well, I'm just gonna say...
我只想说
if I had sex with one Harper in this house,
如果我要这房♥子里和一个姓哈勃的做♥爱♥
thank God it was you.
谢天谢地这个人是你
Okay.
好的
Oh, this is not a good start.
开局不太妙
Would you stop that?
你别这样好吗
Oh, having sex with a guy in my dad's bed.
和男人在我爸的床上做♥爱♥
Paging Dr. Freud, huh?
快传呼弗洛伊德医生吧
You know what? Let's just go back to denial.
算了我们继续否认好了
No, wait, wait!
等等
Wait, that is not me.
这不是我
I don't have a Fred Flintstone tattoo.
我没有摩登原始人那个爸爸的纹身
Well, if that's not you, then who is she?
如果不是你那是谁
You're the one yabba-dabba-doin' her.
把她上得花枝乱颤的人是你耶
I don't know who that is.
我不知道这是谁
God, I love living at the beach.
老天我爱住在海边
That's Heidi!
这是海蒂
You banged Heidi. Really?
你上了海蒂是吗
Yes! Good going.
是的做得好
So, how did I end up in your bed?
那我为什么会在你床上呢
I don't... Uh, wait.
我不... 等等
Is that you? Yeah.
这是你吗是的
Well, who are you with?
你和谁在亲热
Oops, I turned Sarah.
哎呀我把莎拉掰弯了
Nice!
不错
Wh-Whoa, who are those people?
这些人是谁
Do you remember the bonfire on the beach?
你还记得海滩上的篝火会吗
Yeah, the Italian exchange students!
对意大利交换生
"I no have-ah the bus fare-ah."
我没有公车钱
They no have-ah no pants-ah!
他们没有穿裤子
Did we invite them back to the house? I guess so
我们有邀请他们来家里吗是吧
I mean, that is a big pile of naked.
好多光屁♥股♥啊
Oh... oh, man.
我的天
Now Heidi's with the guy that looks like James Franco.
海蒂现在和像詹姆斯·弗兰科的人在一起
Wait, that is James Franco!
等等那就是詹姆斯·弗兰科
That guy is in everything!
他怎么无处不在啊[演员主持作家]
Wait a second, who am I with now?
等等我和谁在一起
Oh, now you're with Sarah.
你和莎拉在一起
Turned her back-- wah!
我又把她掰直了
That is some Game of Thrones stuff there.
床戏堪比《权力的游戏》的啊
Yeah, but we didn't, uh...?
我们没有...
No, I guess not.
我想没有
Oh, well, maybe.
也许吧
That is my ass.
那是我的屁屁
No, that's my ass.
不那是我的屁屁
Is that your arm?
那是你的胳膊吗
Uh, no, that is my... What are you doing?
不那是我的... 你们在做什么
Nothing.
没什么
Hanging out. Okay.
就一起玩而已好吧
So, listen.
听好了
Are we all gonna talk about the orgy we had last night?
我们要谈谈昨晚的纵欲大狂欢吗
What?
什么
Y-You were there?
你也在吗
Hell, yeah.
当然啦
I banged James Franco.
我上了詹姆斯·弗兰科
I'm so glad you were able to get away.
真开心你可以偷溜出来
I owe you one for going out with Stephanie.
让你和斯蒂芬妮约会这次算我欠你的
The only way I got through it...
当时我能挺过去的唯一办法
was by thinking of you.
就是想着你
Through what?
挺过去什么
You know, Stephanie.
斯蒂芬妮啊
I took one for the team.
我为了我们牺牲了小我
Rather I, uh, gave one for the team.
可以说是贡献了小弟
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
等等
You had sex with her?
你和她上♥床♥了吗
Yeah, the second time was not easy.
对第二次时可不容易
Oh, my God!
我的天
What? Wasn't I supposed to?
什么我不应该上吗
No, you were supposed to take her out,
当然不你应该只带她出去
go to a movie or something.
看看电影什么的
Oh, I don't think I could've sat through a movie with her.
我不觉得我能跟她看完一部电影
You are unbelievable. I'm out of here.
你太无♥耻♥了我走了
B-But I thought we were gonna...
我还以为我们会...
Oh, no. God, no.
不想都别想
But... but...
但是但是
but you have a boyfriend!
但你有男友
Hello, uh, Stephanie?
你好斯蒂芬妮
Yeah, it-it's Alan.
我是艾伦
Uh, turns out, uh, the doctor read my MRI wrong.
原来医生看错了我的核磁共振结果
I will be free tonight.
我今晚没事