好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E11
Part 4
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:17 p.m.
Oh, my God, we have ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.
老天 冰箱里有冰淇淋三明治
Hey, man, grab me one!
伙计 帮我拿一个
Mmm, no, grab me two!
不 帮我拿两个
I want to make an ice cream sandwich sandwich.
我要做一个冰淇淋三明治三明治
That is an awesome idea.
好棒的主意
Are you staring at me or am I just really paranoid?
你在盯着我看吗 还是我太多心了
There's nothing to be paranoid about.
没什么好多心的
She's on to us. Abort. I repeat, abort.
她看上咱们了 中止任务 重复 中止任务
I hate you.
我讨厌你
You don't. You like me.
才不是 你喜欢我
You know what. Doesn't matter.
没关系
Because I have a policy about dating people I work with.
因为我有规定禁止办公室恋情
Yeah, but it's your policy, so...
但这是你的规矩 所以
you can break it.
你可以违反
You're the boss.
你是老板
I am, aren't I?
的确是
I guess that makes me the wo-man.
所以我是女人
You guys.
两位
I got great news.
好消息
Ice cream sandwiches are in the oven.
冰淇淋三明治已经放进烤箱
They'll be ready in five.
五分钟后可以吃
You want a refill?
要再来一杯吗
Uh, no, I-I don't want to get drunk.
不 我不想喝醉
Oh, my God, did I somehow get you pregnant?
我的天 我把你肚子搞大了吗
I want to get to know you better,
我想进一步了解你
and I don't want anything to get in the way of that.
我不想出现任何意外状况
I really like you.
我真的喜欢你
That's new for me.
我从来不这样
Hey, I feel the exact same way.
我的感觉和你一样
I've never felt this vulnerable with someone.
我和别人在一起 从未这样手足无措过
You know, when it didn't involve a safe word.
不涉及床上禁忌动作安全代码时
So what are we gonna do?
我们该怎么办
We can start by being honest with each other.
我们可以从相互坦诚开始
That's horrible.
太可怕了
Come on. Let's do this.
来吧 就这样
Tell me a secret, something you've never told anyone else.
告诉我一个 你不会告诉别人的秘密
Something is wrong with my balls.
我的蛋蛋出问题了
Something like that.
像这样的
I just... I-I had a tick and I pulled it off
我染上了虱子 我把它拉掉了
and now they won't stop swelling
现在不断肿胀
and I'm afraid they're gonna explode.
我害怕我的蛋会爆掉
So why are you telling us?
你为什么要告诉我们
Because Brooke works in a salon.
因为布鲁克在美容院工作
She waxes people.
她给人脱毛
Maybe she's seen something like this before.
可能她以前见过这种情况
All right, l-let's see.
好吧 给我看看
Boy, if I wasn't gay before...
就算我是直的也被掰弯了
Check it out, dude.
你看 哥们
Where's your other hand in that picture?
照片上为什么只见你一只手
What the hell?
搞什么
Three people can't fit on an eagle.
鹰上坐不下三个人
Youyou changed my code. Yeah.
你改了我的编码 对
I made it better.
我的版本更好
No, you didn't. We went over this.
你写得不好 我们说过了
Okay. Everybody who's made a billion dollars
好吧 这房♥间里谁用软件
off their software in this room, raise your hand.
赚了十亿美元 请举手
Look at that. It's just me. Okay.
看啊 只有我 好吧
Everyone who owns 51% of this company, raise their hand.
谁是拥有这公♥司♥51%股份的人 请举手
Look at that. Just me.
看啊 只有我
Everybody who's still a little high
有谁感觉还嗨着
and is worried that that's...
有点担心
never gonna stop, raise your hand.
这嗨劲过不去的 请举手
Crap. That's just me.
见鬼 只有我
Listen, just go with me on this.
听着 这次听我的
No, I don't work for you anymore.
不 我不再为你工作了
Okay, look, I know you think you know what you're doing.
我知道你以为你知道自己在做什么
But, trust me, you don't.
但相信我 你不知道
And I know you think you still work here,
我知道你以为你还在这里工作
but, trust me, you don't.
但相信我 你不是了
You're fired.
你被炒了
Oh, snap.
真糟糕
Look, I-I was just trying to help.
我只是想帮忙
Well, it's gonna take me a day to undo your "Help."
我得花一天时间 才能清除你"帮忙的成果"
A day? Come on. I can undo this in an hour.
一天吗 拜托 我一小时就搞定了
You should just... you should just go, dude.
你还是 你还是走吧
Okay.
好吧
Fine.
没事
If that's what you want. It is.
如果你非要我走 是的
Barry, it was an honor to fly with you.
巴里 与你飞翔是我的荣幸
Honor was all mine.
永远是我的荣幸
At ease.
稍息
All right.
好啦
Oh, uh, one last thing.
最后一件事
We're done.
我们结束了
I don't work with you anymore.
我不再为你工作了
That's what "You're fired" means. Good.
这正是"你被炒了"的意思 好的
So this isn't a bad idea anymore.
所以这不再是个坏主意了
Can I be fired, too?
可以把我也炒了吗
Okay. Okay.
好的
Um, I just, uh, want to point out that,
我想说清楚
uh, due to my engorged testicles,
因为我的睾丸过度膨胀
uh, my penis is not currently to scale,
我的阴♥茎♥现在的长度不是正常状态
so...
所以...
Yeah, yeah, here it is.
就是这里
When you pulled out the tick, you didn't get all of it
你拉掉虱子时 没有拉干净
so it got inflamed.
现在发炎了
It's like you're the Hulk,
你就像绿巨人一样
but only your balls got angry.
但只有蛋蛋愤怒了
You know, this is what relationships are all about.
谈恋爱就是这样
Watching your girlfriend pull a tick out of your uncle's junk.
看着女友从自己叔叔的老二那里拉蜱虫
I'm your girlfriend?
我是你的女友吗
If it's a boy, name it Walden.
如果他生的男孩 就叫沃顿
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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