好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E03
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:15 p.m.
Uh, we're-we're just... worried about you.
我们很担心你
This is a tough job,
这份工作太辛苦
especially for a woman of your age.
尤其是对你这种年纪的妇女
What?
你说啥
He said it's hard for a woman your age to do this job.
他说你这么大年纪的妇女做这工作太辛苦
I heard him!
我听得很清楚
Oh.
好吧
I can do the job just fine.
我胜任这份工作没问题
Really? Because you basically bent over
是吗 可你只是弯了一下腰
and haven't been able to get out of bed for two days.
然后就两天爬不起床了
So you just want to treat me like some pathetic charity case
所以你是把我当需要救济的可怜虫
you can throw money at.
用钱来打发我是吧
Oh, no-no one's saying you're a charity case.
没人说你是需要救济的人
Although, I, on the other hand,
不过对我来说
would be happy to be one of Walden's Kids.
倒是很高兴能被"沃尔顿孩童基金“救济一下
I'm just trying to do something nice for you.
我不过是想帮你做件好事
By giving me a handout?
你的好事就是施舍给我钱吗
Unlike you, I've worked for every cent I ever made.
我不像你 我赚的每分钱都是我的血汗钱
Excuse me?
你说什么呢
You got rich from one idea.
你光凭一个想法就发了财
You have no clue what it's like to work for a living.
你根本不懂为生活奔波的辛苦
Okay, I am not gonna apologize for being successful.
事业成功又不是我的错
No, you are not, my friend.
当然不是你的错了 小伙伴
Shut up! Shut up!
闭嘴 闭嘴
And please, "work for a living"?
你还好意思说 为生活奔波
You hurt your back trying to take a nap!
你是因为偷懒打盹才伤到背的
You know what?
跟你明说吧
I don't have to take this crap.
我才不要听你继续废话呢
Well, that makes two of us.
我也正有此意呢
It's settled then. I quit.
那敢情好 我不干了
Oh, no! Where am I gonna find someone to eat my food,
不要啊 我上哪儿去找人白吃我的东西
smoke my pot and sleep in my bed?!
抽光我的大♥麻♥ 还赖在我床上不走呀
Oh...
这个嘛
Shut up!
闭嘴好不好
So what do you think? Was I right, or what?
你觉得如何 我说得对吧
Yes, Helen is great.
没错 海伦真是太棒了
Although I still don't understand
虽然我还是不能理解
why we couldn't at least interview a topless maid.
干嘛不面试个半裸女仆过过眼瘾也好
Or four.
或者面试4个
Will you forget about the topless maids?
你不要再想什么半裸女仆的事了
I will never forget about the topless maids.
我会永远也忘不了她
You saw the video.
你也看过那段视频了
"The only thing dirty in your house will be me."
我会是你家中唯一所存"肮脏"的东西哦
Supper time, boys.
吃晚饭了 孩子们
Oh. Oh.
好 好
Helen, this lemonade is delicious.
海伦 你做的柠檬汽水真是太好喝了
That's because I have a secret ingredient.
那是因为人家用了独家秘方
Oh, really? What-What is it?
真的吗 是什么呀
Love.
满满的爱啊
And, like, a pound of sugar.
还有一磅砂糖
Hey, you still miss Berta?
你还想念波塔吗
Miss Berta who?
波塔谁呀
Hey, maybe that's her last name, "Who""
也许她就姓"谁呀"
More like, "Who Cares."
我看是姓"谁管她呀"
Oh, my God, look at this!
我的天 看看这一桌
And for dessert,
今天的甜点是
when your tummy starts to rumble,
当你肚子饿得咕咕响
there's Helen's apple crumble.
海伦的苹果奶酥就隆重登场
Shut your mouth.
别继续诱惑我们了
I won't.
我偏不
You shouldn't.
你继续
The only thing Berta ever made with an apple was a bong.
贝塔只用苹果做过大♥麻♥烟枪
Oh, she sounds like a hoot-and-a-half.
哇 她听起来可挺有趣的
Well, enjoy, boys!
好好享用吧 孩子们
Oh, no, no, no, no, come join us.
别走呀 和我们一起吃吧
Well, thank you very much.
那就恭敬不如从命了
The only thing sweeter
你们这么彬彬有礼
than your manners is my peach cobbler.
只有我的蜜桃派能甜过你俩了
Spoiler alert-- tomorrow night.
剧透一下 是明晚的菜单哦
Well, I will be a gobbler of your cobbler.
我要添光光你的蜜桃派
I am gonna stitch that on a pillow.
这句话我要绣在我家抱枕上
Oh, do you... do you mind if I say grace?
那个 你们不介意我先祷告一下吧
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
好啊 你随意
Uh, should I eat this unblessed biscuit, or spit it out?
这个没被赐福的饼我是该吃还是该吐呢
Dear Lord,
亲爱的主
we thank you for the food that we are about to receive,
感谢你赐给我们今天的食物
and all of the other blessings that you have bestowed upon us.
以及其它所有你所给的恩惠
Hmm. That was beautiful.
说的真好
And we humbly ask
我们卑微地请求你
that you help Alan and Walden
对艾伦和沃尔顿伸出援手
find the path to righteousness.
让他们早日回归正途
Wait. What?
等等 什么
And lead them out
带领他们走出
of their sinful homosexual lifestyles...
罪恶的同性恋深渊
...lest their souls burn in the fiery pits of hell
以免他们的灵魂在地狱深处被煎烤
for all eternity with all of the other Sodomites.
和其他鸡♥奸♥者一起 永世不得翻身
Amen. Can I get some sweet potatoes?
阿门 帮我拿点番薯好不好
Oh, sure.
没问题
Alan?
艾伦
What? She already thinks
干嘛 她已经觉得
we're gobbling each others' cobblers.
我们俩把对方的”蜜桃“舔光光了
When you're finished with that dish,
你吃完饭以后
just leave it, and I'll take care of it.
盘子放那里就好 我会洗的
Oh, thank you, Colleen.
好 谢了 可玲
No problem.
不用谢
I'm gonna go make the beds.
我去整理床铺了
I don't want to spoil the surprise,
我不想提前剧透
but I'm pretty sure she was carrying a little bag
但我相当确定她有一个小包
of pillow chocolates.
里面放着枕边巧克力糖
I have to admit, she's pretty terrific.
我不得不承认 她真是个极品
Right? I mean, she's a good cook, she's punctual.
对吧 她又擅长厨艺 又守时
She's accepting of our lifestyle.
她接受了我们的生活方式
There is no lifestyle to accept.
根本没什么生活方式要她接受
But if things change, it's nice to know
但如果事情有变 知道我们不会
we won't lose a great housekeeper.
失去一个好管家 是件好事
That's-that's not me.
不是我的
Oh, uh, maybe it's Colleen.
也许是卡琳的
Um, Colleen?
卡琳
Oh, for the love of God, just turn it off.
拜托 关掉吧
Oh, dear.
我的天
What?
怎么了
Look at this.
看这个
Okay, I'm-I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this.
我相信肯定有合理的解释
I mean, she's a... she's a single woman,
她是单身女性
probably just trying to protect herself.
可能只是想保护自己
So, what's this one for?
那这个是用来做什么的
She has two guns?
她有两把枪吗
I count four...
我数到了四把
and what looks like a shank.
外加一个像拿来捅人的玩意
Okay, you get to fire this one.
这次炒人你来
Did I hear my phone?
我的电♥话♥是不是响了
Alan has something he'd like to tell you.
艾伦有话要对你说
I think I made a pillow chocolate
我想我把一点"巧克力"
in my boys' huskies.
拉在了我的男童内♥裤♥里
Okay. Well, our last housekeeper,
我们最后一位管家
um, cleaned. Mm.
会打扫卫生
And, uh, sometimes cooked for us.
有时候为我们做饭
Is that something that you're comfortable with?
这点你有意见吗
Sure. What would you like me to cook?
没 你们想让我做什么
Oh, I-I don't know.
我不知道
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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