好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E03
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:15 p.m.
You, uh, got a minute, boss?
老板 能耽误你一分钟吗
Actually, I'm kind of busy.
我现在有点忙
I'm pushing new code on an API for this e-comm platform.
我在给这个电子商务平台的界面编程呢
"I am from the future.
"我来自未来
I am a handsome robot."
我是个帅气机器人"
Look, I-I wouldn't bother you with this
我要不是觉得这事很重要
if I didn't think it was important.
我也不敢打扰您啊
Okay. Just make it quick.
好吧 赶紧弄完
That's my specialty.
这可是我最在行的
Ask any woman I've ever been with.
跟我相好过的女人都知道
I will call them both.
她们两个我都会问
What do you got?
你有啥问题
Behold your new
看好你的
coffee mug.
全新咖啡杯
What?
什么
Remember? You asked me to look for new mugs for your office.
你忘了你让我帮你办公室买♥♥个新咖啡杯吗
What do you think?
你觉得如何
Well, there's a hole on the top
杯顶有洞
and no hole on the bottom.
杯底无洞
Nailed it.
干得漂亮啊
Thanks.
谢谢
Uh, so, uh, what do you want written on it?
你想要上面写着什么字样呢
Written on it?
写什么字
Uh, your choices are
你的选择有
"Coffee," "Java" or "Joe."
"咖啡""爪哇"或"乔"
I don't know. Just... Joe.
不知道 就弄个"乔"吧
Excellent choice.
好选择
Although... what if you hire a guy named Joe?
但是 万一你请了一个叫"乔"的员工呢
I-I think the temptation for these mugs
我觉得这些杯子不翼而飞
to walk out the door is a little too high.
几率有点太高啊
Fine. Just write "Coffee" On it.
那好 写"咖啡"在上面吧
Great! Uh, coffee in the mug,
好 里边装咖啡
and coffee on the mug. Love it!
外边写咖啡 妙哉
But, uh, let me run this past you:
但我也给你提一下这个
"Java the Mug."
"爪哇杯"[坏蛋贾瓦]
You know, because of Star Wars.
跟星战里面的角色音似嘛
Stop!
够了
Right. Right.
好的 好的
You're busy.
你在忙
Oh! Uh, one last thing.
还有最后一件事
Oh, good God! Alan,
天啊 艾伦
I hired you as my assistant
我雇你来当我助理
so I don't have to think about things like this.
就是让我自己不用烦这些琐事
Oh, yeah, I know,
我知道
but I want to do a good job for you.
我只是想把工作做得尽善尽美
I mean, you're gonna look at this every day
毕竟这个杯子你得天天看
and I don't want you to hate it.
我不想你看它不顺眼
That does happen with things
这的确是有发生在
I look at every day.
我每天看到的某人身上
Okay, so one final question:
好吧 最最后一个问题
do you want your mug to be left-handed or right-handed?
你想要左撇子用杯 还是右撇子用杯
You're kidding, right?
你是在开玩笑对吧
No, some people hold 'em in their left hand,
没有啊 有些人用左手拿杯
some people hold 'em in their right hand.
有些人习惯用右手拿杯
Okay. Okay.
行 行
Changing your mug from "World's Greatest Boss"
我要把你杯子上的"世界最棒老板"字样
to "World's Smartest Boss." Okay.
改成"世界最聪明老板" 好了
I'm gonna go pee.
我要去撒尿了
Oh, oh, as long as you're in the bathroom, uh,
趁你在厕所里的时候呢
I left three different types of toilet tissue in there for you.
看看我放里面的三种不同厕纸
Uh, let me know which one is best.
告诉我你最喜欢哪一种啊
Oh! And the brown one is not a joke.
还有 棕色那款不是恶作剧而已哦
"Hire me, Walden. I can be your assistant."
"雇我吧 沃顿 我能当你的秘书"
You know what your mug should say?
你知道你的杯子应该写啥吗
"World's Worst Employee."
"世界最烂员工"
Hey, nap time's over.
午觉时间结束
I'm not napping.
我没在睡午觉
I threw my back out.
我腰不行了
My God, are you okay? What happened?
天啊 你没事吧 怎么回事
It seized up when I was climbing into your bed to take a nap.
它在我要爬上你床睡午觉的时候就废了
Okay, uh, everything's gonna be okay.
没事的
Just... relax.
你就放轻松
Alan, get up here!
艾伦 上来
Why are you calling Zippy?
你叫废柴上来干嘛
He's a chiropractor-- he can help.
他是整脊师 他可以帮你
Oh, stop.
别说了
It hurts when I laugh. Oh.
我一笑背就疼
Has this happened before?
以前发生过这事吗
Once. At a bike rally in Sturgis.
一次 在斯特吉斯的摩托骑士集♥会♥时
Me and a couple of Hells Angels decided to drop acid
我跟一帮车友会的人一起嗑药
and get naked.
然后脱♥光♥玩
Alan!
艾伦
What's going on?
怎么了
Is something wrong?
发生什么事了吗
Berta threw her back out.
波塔背伤了
Oh, no. What should we do?
不是吧 那我们怎么办
Well, I called a chiropractor.
我叫了个整脊师来
Great.
那好
Oh, me! Oh...
我啊
Well, uh, let's see what we got here.
来看看情况如何
Where's the pain?
哪里感觉到疼痛[讨厌鬼]
Standing in front of me asking stupid questions.
正站在我面前问我傻♥逼♥问题呢
Berta, be nice. Alan's a doctor.
波塔 别这样 艾伦是个医生
Yes, yes, ha-ha.
是是 笑吧
But I can help you.
但我真的能帮你
Although I am legally obligated to tell you
虽然我根据法律规定 应该先告知你
my license has expired.
我的执照已经过期
But thankfully backs haven't changed that much
但幸好医师协会的人给我差评
since my unsuccessful board review.
到现在的这段期间 背部没啥进化
So, uh, you can't move at all?
你完全不能动是吗
Every time I do, it tightens up more.
我一想动 我背后就感觉更紧
Oh, sounds like a classic back spasm.
听起来应该就是背抽筋了
You probably just need bed rest and ice, uh,
基本上你就在床上休养 冰敷冰敷
but, just in case, let me see if you need a spinal adjustment.
保险起见 我检查你需不需要调整脊椎吧
Touch me and you die.
敢碰我你就死定了
She may also need an attitude adjustment.
她还需要点态度调整呢
Okay, I'll call my doctor and have him come take a look.
好吧 我打给我的家庭医生让他来看看
Western medicine. He'll probably just prescribe pain killers.
西方医学 估计就是开点止痛药给她
Call him.
赶紧打给他
I will. In the meantime,
我在打 这期间
you stay here as long as you need.
你就乖乖躺着多休息吧
I'll take the guest room.
我可以去睡客房♥
Why? My back's out but my front still works.
何必呢 我背不行了 可是"正面"没问题啊
Be like Sturgis all over again.
当年聚会也是如此
Morning.
早安
Hey, were you alone last night?
你昨晚是自己一个人在房♥里吗
Yeah, why?
对啊 干嘛问
Because from 11:15 to 11:22,
因为昨晚11点15到11点22
all I heard was, "Oh, yeah,
我就光听到了"爽啊
that's the way Daddy likes it."
爹爹就喜欢这样"
Uh, right, the-the walls are really thin,
是这样的 我房♥间和客房♥的
uh, between my bedroom and the guest room,
墙壁有点薄
and I-I was watching TV.
我当时是在看电视
So the same show came on again at 1:30
所以同一档节目在1点30跟
and then again at 4:15?
4点15的时候又重播了吗
Weird.
真是怪事
Can I ask you something?
我能问你个问题吗
What is wrong with Daddy?
"爹爹"的脑子是有啥病
He's lonely, okay?
他很孤单 可以吗
Can you just let it go?
能别一直不放吗
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表