好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E07
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:16 p.m.
Yeah, I play Cinderella
是的 我扮演灰姑娘
and she's the Little Mermaid.
她扮演小美人鱼
Oh, well, that certainly makes sense
这分配当然合理啊
because, uh, you "swept" my friend off his feet
因为我的朋友拜倒在你的公主裙下
and-and I'm "hooked" On you.
而我把你"勾"上了
Oh, my God, that's funny
天啊 说得太好了
because I'm a fish. Yes.
因为我就是一条鱼 是啊
The answer to the question you're not asking is:
你没问出口那个问题的答案是
because she makes me look smart.
跟她一起显得我聪明
Well, the answer to the question you're not asking is:
你没问出口那个问题的答案是
because he won't move out.
他在我家死赖着不走
Morning.
早安
How great was last night?
昨晚是不是很棒呀
It was pretty good.
是蛮不错的
Those girls didn't know what hit 'em.
那俩妞都不知道把她们迷晕的是谁
What'd you use, chloroform or Tasers?
你用了什么 是麻醉要还是电击枪
I will have you know
我告诉你吧
that Walden and I have dates tonight
我和沃顿昨晚跟
with two theme park princesses.
两个主题公园的公主约会
Mine's Cinderella.
我的是灰姑娘
Perfect for you.
绝配啊
Storybook beauty.
童话书美女
And mine is the Little Mermaid.
我的是小美人鱼
Perfect for you.
绝配啊
No legs to run away.
没有腿 不用怕她会跑
I'm telling you, if we play our cards right,
如果我们今晚好好表现
we're gonna get ourselves some fairy-tail.
没准我们能给自己来点"童话"[式性♥交♥]
"Fairy-tail"?
"童话"
Because, you know, "tail" has two meanings.
对啊 "话"有两个意思
Yeah, so does "fairy."
那个"童"字也有"同[性恋]"的意思
Hey, guys.
各位早啊
This is Maria.
这位是玛利亚
Maria, this is Walden and Alan.
玛利亚 这是沃顿和艾伦
Oh, that's so cool.
你家太酷了
You didn't tell me your parents were gay.
你都不告诉我你的父母也是同性恋
Didn't I?
我没说吗
Dad and Mom.
这是爸爸 那是妈妈
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
你好 很高兴认识你
Uh, listen, I gotta go.
我得走了
But you are going to call me, right?
但你会打给我的 对吧
Absolutely. You sure?
当然 你保证吗
Yes.
当然
I would not lie to you in front of my parents.
我可不会当着父母的面骗你
Bye, it was nice meeting you.
再见 很高兴认识你们
Don't be a stranger, dear.
别那么见外嘛 宝贝
That's not the girl you picked up in the bar last night.
那不是你昨晚在酒吧勾搭的妞啊
No, she delivered the pizza to me
对 她是送披萨的
and the girl I picked up at the bar last night.
送给我和酒吧的那个妞
Well, I hope you gave her a good tip.
希望你给她的"小费"能让她满意
Nah, she didn't come in 30 minutes or less.
没给 她半个小时之后才送达[高♥潮♥]
Fashion Police. Pull over.
时尚警♥察♥出动 请靠边停
What?
干嘛
The reason I stopped you
我拦下你的原因是
is it appears your style has expired.
你的衣着风格已经过时了
You don't like this sweater? I thought it looked good.
你不喜欢这件毛衣吗 我觉得还行啊
Have you been drinking, sir?
你刚喝酒喝傻了吗 先生
This coming from a man
一个穿着灭白蚁
who looks like he's been tented for termites.
用的帐篷的人也好意思说我
Lyndsey. Hi, Alan.
林赛 艾伦
Uh, did we have plans for tonight?
我们今晚有安排吗
No, I was in the area
没有 我只是刚好来这边
and I thought I'd surprise you with a booty call.
想给你来一个"惊喜快炮"
Well, normally that would be delightful, but... Wait.
通常我会很高兴 但 慢着
You're wearing cologne and your one good shirt.
你喷了古龙水 还穿上你唯一一件好衣裳
You have a date.
你今晚有约会
Oh, no, I-I wouldn't call it a date, you know, uh, um...
不 我不会称其为约会
Walden met this woman,
沃顿要跟一个女人见面
and she's got a friend, really ugly.
她碰巧有个朋友 超级丑的
You know how they say, you know,
常言道
people were beaten with the ugly stick?
有种人是被丑棍打过的
Well... well, you know,
意思就是
if you took a bunch of the ugly sticks
如果你用一堆丑棍
and built an ugly house,
建造一座丑房♥子
when this girl walked by,
当这个女人经过的时候
the house would call her ugly.
就连房♥子都会说她丑
Alan, relax.
艾伦 别紧张
You're allowed to date. Oh, really?
你可以跟人约会 真的吗
Of course. I mean, I have a boyfriend.
当然 我自己也有男朋友啊
Oh, thank God, 'cause this girl is actually way hot.
谢天谢地 这妞其实超性感的
I mean, you know, not as hot as you,
我是说 当然没有你性感
but, you know, young-hot.
但她是年轻那种性感
You've been hot a lot longer.
你性感的时候 她还没出生呢
I'm gonna go.
我要走了
You sure you're okay with this?
你确定你没意见吗
I'm sure. Go have fun.
当然 好好玩吧
Oh, that's my good old Lyndsey.
这才是我旧时[老]的好宝贝
I didn't mean "old"!
我不是说你老啊
Idiot Police. Pull over.
蠢货警♥察♥出动 请靠边停
God, it's great out here.
天啊 这里真棒
The stars look amazing.
星星看起来真美
Yeah, without the lights from the city, they really pop.
是啊 没有城市的灯光 星星更加闪耀
That's why you can see Orion's Belt so clearly.
怪不得能清楚看到猎户座的腰带区
Uh, you know, if you look under Orion's Belt,
如果你往下看
uh, you can see his Little Dipper.
你可以看见他的小熊[鸡鸡]星
Oh, my God, you are so bad.
天啊 你太坏了
You're into astronomy?
你喜欢天文学吗
'Cause I've been into astronomy
因为我参加了太空营后
since I went to space camp.
就迷上了天文学
Also about the same time I got into
同一时间 我也被
getting my ass kicked at school.
学校里的人欺负
I always wanted to go to space camp.
我一直想参加太空营
Nerd!
书呆
I prefer "Geek."
我更喜欢"极客"这个称呼
Wh-What about you, Laurie?
那你呢 劳里
Are you into astronomy?
你喜欢天文学吗
Yep, I'm a Virgo.
喜欢 我是处♥女♥座的
But I'm not a virgin.
但我不是处♥女♥了哦
Both good signs for me.
这两者对我来说都是好事
So, uh, how did you become a princess, anyway?
话说你们俩怎么会去干公主这一行的
Oh, I get that a lot.
我经常被问到这个问题
I'm not a real princess.
我不是真的公主
I'm also not a real redhead.
也不是真的红发妞
You'll find that out later.
等会儿你就知道啦[体毛]
No way, it must be great being a princess.
怎么会 扮演公主一定很不错吧
Yeah, for the most part.
是啊 多数情况下挺好的
What's not so great are the pervy dads
除了有时一些变♥态♥大叔
who are trying to cop a feel.
会偷偷过来摸一把
The other day I was like,
前几天我还说呢
"do that again, you're gonna find out
"再敢过来 就让你知道
where else my glass slipper fits."
我的水晶鞋还能塞进哪里"
Is it weird that that turns me on?
听得我都"蠢蠢欲动"了 奇怪吧
Is it weird that's why I told you?
所以我才说给你听的 奇怪吧
So, hey, would you girls like a little more champagne?
两位美女要不要添点香槟
Oh, I would!
我要
I love champagne.
我喜欢香槟
And puppies!
还有小狗狗
Um, what's the magic word?
咒语是什么来着
Oh... boobs!
咪♥咪♥
Ah, the kids must love you.
孩子们一定很喜欢你
I really like Jill.
我真的好喜欢吉儿
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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