好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S11E19
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:20 p.m.
The Strongman meat would not be loafing.
斯壮曼肉卷不会闲着没事的
Move in with me.
搬来跟我住吧
Seriously?
真的吗
You make this place a home.
你让这个地方有了家的感觉
When you're not here, this apartment feels
你不在这里的时候 这间公♥寓♥感觉
like it belongs to somebody else.
就像属于别人似的
So what do you say?
你怎么说
I say yes.
我愿意
Oh, my God, that's great!
天啊 太好了
But I insist on paying half the rent.
但我一定要付一半房♥租
I love you.
我爱你
Cash only.
只接受现金
Can I help you?
有事吗
Hey, sorry to bother you. I...
抱歉打扰你 我...
I've been hiking all day, and I saw you had a hose out here,
我徒步了一天 看到外面有根水管
and I was wondering if I could fill up my water bottle.
想知道我是否可以接点水喝
I have a hose?
我有根水管吗
Yeah.
是的
Bottom of the stairs.
楼梯下面
Good for me.
那太好了
Uh, I... actually, I have filtered water in the kitchen.
其实厨房♥里有过滤后的水
Oh, I kind of had my heart set on dirty hose water,
我本来决定喝水管里的脏水
but if you insist.
但你坚持让我喝净水的话就算了
Should I...
我该...
I'm sorry, what?
抱歉 你说什么
Sh-Should I wipe my feet?
我该擦擦鞋吗
I-I don't want to track beach sand into your...
我不想把沙滩上的沙子带进你的...
...house sand?
室内沙子吗?
Oh, no. That's-that's not sand.
不 那不是沙子
That's the remains of the guy who used to live here.
那是前任屋主人的骨灰
You know what, maybe I'll just use the hose outside.
或许我用外面的水管就可以了
It's fine. No, no, no, no.
没关系的 不 不
No, it's not like that. He gets spilled all the time.
不是你想的那样 他总是撒出来
At this point, he's mostly lint. I'm Walden.
到现在基本都成线头了 我是沃顿
Vivian.
薇薇安
That's a beautiful name. Thank you.
很好听的名字 谢谢
My parents got it from that '70s show.
我父母从70年代的一个电视剧里取的
What was it called? Maude.
叫什么来着 《莫德》
Wow, this is...
这...
this is quite a place.
这真是个不错的房♥子
Your desk is backwards.
你的书桌放反了
Excuse me?
什么
Well, you have this beautiful view of the ocean,
你有这么美丽的海景
and yet your desk is facing the wall with...
却让书桌对着挂着...
a picture of the ocean on it.
海景图片的墙
Yeah. It's... actually, it's-it's the Atlantic.
实际上 图片上是大西洋
It's an inside joke.
这是个内部笑话
For myself.
就我自己能懂
Uh, you know what, I better fill up and get going.
我最好装满水马上走人
But it's, like... it's really starting to come down out there.
但是外面已经下起雨来了
It's just a little water. I'm not gonna melt.
一点水而已 我不会融化的
It's not like I'm the Wicked Witch of the West.
我又不是西方邪恶女巫
I mean, you could wait it out here if you want.
如果你愿意的话可以在这里避雨
We could have dinner together.
我们可以一起吃晚饭
I'll-I'll order delivery.
我来叫外卖♥♥
Really?
真的吗
Wow. Uh, yeah.
好啊
That'd be great.
那太棒了
Great. Okay.
太好了 好的
Thank you.
谢谢
You know, I-I got to ask,
我想问问
do you always invite strangers into your home?
你总是邀请陌生人到你家里来吗
Oh, no. Usually they invite themselves.
不 通常都是他们不请自来
I am so excited to move in with you.
能搬来跟你住 我好开心
Hey, on top of paying half the rent,
除了付一半房♥租
I insist on paying half the utilities.
我还要付一半水电杂费
Thank you.
谢谢
By the way, there's also a security deposit, a cleaning deposit
顺便说一下还有保证金 清洁押金
and the groceries you've already eaten half of.
还有你已经吃了一半的食品杂货
But we'll figure that out later.
但是我们可以等会再算
We're gonna have so much fun.
我们一定会过得很开心
Oh. Oh. If this is gonna get any more physical,
如果要进行深入的身体接触的话
I got to go freshen up.
我先去梳洗一下
You mean poop?
你是要拉屎吗
I love you so much.
我太爱你了
Oh, hey, if, uh, the pizza guy shows up,
如果送披萨的伙计来了
I don't have any money.
我没钱付啊
Hey, that's my line!
这是我的台词
My wallet's on the counter. Thanks.
我的皮夹在吧台上 谢了
Wait...!
等等
Who's Alan Harper?
艾伦·哈勃是谁
A guy who no longer has to poop.
一个不必再拉屎的家伙
What's your deal, Walden?
你是怎么回事 沃顿
Good-looking guy, rich, Malibu beach house.
又帅又有钱 住着马里布沙滩别♥墅♥
I bet you only date hot actresses.
我打赌你只跟当红女演员约会
God, no. I'd never date an actress.
不 我从没跟女演员约过会
They're all crazy.
她们都是疯子
I'm sure they're not all crazy.
我敢肯定不是都疯子
Trust me. They are.
相信我 真的都是
I don't get this whole fascination with celebrities anyway.
反正我对名人不怎么迷恋
I mean, who cares who's dating whom
谁在乎谁和谁约会
or who's engaged to who
谁和谁订婚
or who has a sex tape that no one will ever, ever see?
谁又有未曾曝光的性♥爱♥录像
I know. But I have to say
我懂 但我必须要说
I am a sucker for anything having to do
任何有关皮特朱莉或者金伊恋的消息
with Brangelina or Kimye.
我都难以抗拒
Yeah, I have no idea what that means.
我不知道那是什么意思
I thought we were eating Kimye.
这简直是大餐啊
What, have you been hiding under a rock for the last few years?
你过去几年都在石洞里生活吗
No, but I have climbed a few.
不 但我的确攀过岩
I was a Sherpa in Nepal.
我和尼泊尔的夏尔巴人一起生活
Yeah. And I...
还有
I drove cattle in Argentina.
我在阿根廷放过牧
And I, uh... Oh, I used to give safari tours in Africa.
我还在非洲打过猎
And, once, I was an assistant manager
还有还有 我在匹兹堡的热狗店
at a Hot Dog on a Stick in Pittsburgh.
做过副经理哦
I love hot dogs.
我爱热狗
I've never even thought about doing stuff like that.
我从没想过做你说的那些事
I mean, although I did
但我的确有过
once sit in the splash section at SeaWorld without a poncho.
没穿雨披坐在海洋世界的水花前排区
Well, then you'd be perfect for my next adventure.
那你很适合我的下一个冒险旅程
Crewing on a sailboat to Polynesia.
扬帆起航前往波利尼西亚
A sailboat to Polynesia.
扬帆起航前往波利尼西亚
So what island do you want to hit first?
你想先登哪座岛
As long as we're together,
只要我们在一起
it doesn't matter.
这都无所谓
That was a close one.
好险
I barely caught you guys.
差点没赶上你们
I'm still living with you, right?
我还跟你住一起 对吧
Walden.
沃顿
Walden.
沃顿
Which one do you want?
你要哪一块
Right now I want both.
现在我两块都想要
Oh, here.
拿着吧
"A new love awaits you."
"即将遇见新恋情"
Mine says, "Try our gluten-free wontons."
我这张写着 "试试我们的无筋馄饨"
Okay,
好了
uh, you asked, uh, "Who is Alan Harper""
你问我 谁是Alan Harper
And you deserve the truth.
你应该知道真♥相♥
My real name is Alan Harper.
艾伦·哈勃是我的真名
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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