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你今晚会和我一起去派 对吧
So you're coming to the party, though, tonight with me, right?
-奢华的好莱坞派对 -没错 没错
- The fancy Hollywood party? - Yeah. Yeah.
-我不去 -来嘛
- No, I'm not. - Yeah.
凯文 我... 好吧
Kevin, I... Okay, f...
-我都没有合适的衣服 -凯特
- I don't even have anything to wear. - Kate.
我需要你 好吗
I need you there, okay?
一定会很棒的
It's gonna be fun.
-是吗 -绝对会很棒
- Is it? - It's gonna be a blast.
-这... -一定会很棒的
- Is-is...? Yes, it's gonna be a blast.
-奶爸不干了 -凯文 这...
- Manny out. - Kevin, here... here's the...
奶爸不干了
Manny out.
或是 奶爸不干了
Or maybe Manny out!
管他呢 怎样都行
Whatever... whatever works.
第一季 第二集
水蔓延开来
The water exhales
当微风拂动
and when the wind blows
便又是另一番景色了
the landscape is altered
这只豹一定...
this pard must be...
好了 小姑娘们 最后再看五分钟
All right, little mamas, five-minute warning
-就该去刷牙了 -可是...
- till teeth brushing. - But...
没得讨价还价
It's not open for discussion.
-威廉 -威廉
- Hey, William - William!
你们好
Hi, everybody.
你这么晚才回来
You're home late.
一切还好吗
Everything okay?
没事 我很好
Yeah, yes. I'm fine.
就是忙了一天了
Just a long day.
我想先回床上休息了
I think I may just go lay myself down for the night.
晚安
Well... night.
晚安
Night.
好了 小鬼们 牙齿可不会自己变白哦
Okay, monsters, these teeth aren't gonna brush themselves.
天啊 宝贝 都吃什么了变这么沉
Oh, God. Hey, girl, what you been eating?
冰淇淋[音近"我要尖叫"]Ice cream.
你尖叫什么 我才要大叫呢
You scream? I'm gonna scream
我还得抱你俩上楼
if I got to carry you up these stairs.
你们俩太沉了
You're too heavy.
我要跟大家大声宣布的事就是
Guess the thing I really need to say out loud to everyone is,
我一周内成功减掉三磅了
I'm down three pounds in one week.
朋友们 没什么 行了 不用着...
Oh, guys, come on. Stop. Stop. You don't...
好吧好吧 你们继续吧
Well, okay, fine, keep going.
我 我好开心 我真的
I'm-I'm so happy. I'm...
今天工作不顺 我就去温蒂家买♥♥汉堡了
Well, I had a crap day at work, so I stopped at Wendy's.
我准备在车上吃
And I was about to eat in the car,
要知道 我最喜欢这么干
which is... all you know is my thing.
可当离开汽车餐厅的那一刻
The second I left the drive-through,
我就咬牙把那十块钱的汉堡扔出车窗外了
I threw ten dollars' worth of Wendy's out of my moving car,
然后我回到家里 只吃了沙拉
and I went home, and I had a salad.
我知道我很可笑
I know I'm ridiculous.
在你们眼里我就是个笑话
I know I'm a joke to you guys.
我知道我身材走样 或者其他叫法
I know I have body distortion issues or whatever it's called,
但这是真的
but it's real.
残酷的事实
It's brutal.
我多想让你们看看
I wish I could show you guys
我自己在镜子里的样子
what I see when I look in the mirror...
省省吧
Oh, for God's sake.
麦迪逊 你才95斤
Madison, you weigh 105 pounds.
要是你照镜子时觉得自己是个胖妹
If you feel like a fat girl when you look in the mirror,
那怎么不上秤试试呢
why don't you step a damn scale?
看到那数字"九-十-五"
And when the scale reads "One, zero, five,"
你就知道自己根本不胖了
you know that you're not fat.
还有劳丽 汉堡店的事是吧
And Laurie, that Wendy's story, okay.
不好意思 但是你只是乱扔垃圾罢了
I'm sorry, but you're just a litterer.
你就是个该死的环境破坏者
You're just a littering damn litterer.
看来是时候休息一下了
Well, that feels like a good place for a break.
你在一群胖子面前变身成了绿巨人
You hulked out on a bunch of fatties.
一点也不好笑 托比
You're not going to make me laugh, Toby.
怎么了 孩子
What's up, kid?
我哥硬拉我去参加个噩梦般的好莱坞派对
My brother is making me go to this nightmare Hollywood party
今晚在他经纪人家里办的
at his agent's house tonight.
我就出去买♥♥裙子
Yeah, I went to buy a dress,
结果没一件合身的 一件都没有
and nothing fit, literally nothing.
一切都糟透了
Everything looks terrible.
我一点儿都没瘦下来
I'm not losing weight.
我快饿死了
I'm starving.
说不上来
I don't know.
也许就因为这事吧
That's what's up, I guess.
好吧
Okay.
你哥的经纪人是蕾妮·舒尔茨 对吧
Hey, your brother's agent is Lanie Shultz, right?
对啊
Yeah.
凯特 蕾妮·舒尔茨
Kate, Lanie Shultz
是我所谓的娱乐圈里
is one of the most powerful agents
最有权势的经纪人之一
in what I like to call... show business.
我听说《死侍》就是她的主意
I heard that Deadpool was her idea.
要不就是《汉密尔顿》
Or maybe it was Hamilton.
我把这两个搞混了
I get those two confused.
总之 凯特你一定要带我去那个派对
Anyway, Kate, you are so taking me to that party.
不行 我不想让你看到派对上的我
No. I don't want you to see me there.
参与这种事是我最糟糕的时刻
Like, I am at my worst at those things.
凯特 伤害一个厌食症女患者
Kate, you are at your worst
才是你最糟糕的时刻
when you are eviscerating the anorexic lady,
但我依然在你身边
and I am still standing here.
我们吃过三次午餐 四次晚餐
Look, we have had three lunches and four dinner dates.
亲热过七次 爱抚过对方两次
We have made out seven times and heavy-petted twice.
我们俩马上就要
Our plane is rapidly approaching
登上爱情的巨轮了
the boyfriend-girlfriend zone,
而我呢 已经准备好上船了
and, I, for one, am preparing myself for landing.
但是我希望咱俩的话题
But I need to know that everything
不要总是围绕着体重
isn't gonna always be about our weight.
好吗 我们得在派对上尽情狂欢
All right? We need to be able to cut loose at parties.
我们要精心打扮 我们还要做♥爱♥
We need to get really dressed up, we need to have sex.
我只是随口一说
I just slipped that in there very casually
因为我认为那是
because I think that's something
我们不久后就该做的事
that we should start doing very soon.
凯特 看在老天爷的份上
So, Kate, I am asking you, please,
我请求你 咱俩能抽出一天时间
for the love of God, can we spend one fat-free night
不去想肥胖的事而是参加《死侍》
at the house of the lady who came up with the idea
或《汉密尔顿》制片人举办的派对吗
for Deadpool and/or Hamilton?
你在笑吗
Is that a... is that a smile?
没错那是代表答应的微笑
Is that...? Yes, that's a yes and a smile.
大伙 布鲁斯·班纳[绿巨人]恢复正常了
All right, hey, guys, Bruce Banner's back.
没事了 绿巨人消失了
Everything's fine. The Hulk is gone.
大家继续吧 我向大家道个歉
Let the healing continue. Sorry about that.
你舒服吗
You comfy?
睡吧 宝贝
Okay, sweetness.
晚安 妈妈爱你
Good night. I love you so much.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
妈妈
Mom?
怎么了 宝贝
Yeah, babe?
我今天只吃了水果
I only ate fruit today.
你明白妈妈只是希望你健康成长吧
You know I just want you to be healthy, right?
妈妈也希望你开心
And I want you to be happy.
你开心吗
Are you happy?
大多数时候吧
For the most part.
那妈妈也就开心了
Well, then, I'm happy, too.
要不咱俩一起保持健康怎么样
Tell you what. How about you and I find a healthy balance together?
你觉得怎么样 不错吧
How does that sound? That sounds good?
好的
All right.
闭嘴
Shut up!
你闭嘴 "白家黑"
You shut up, Webster.
别给我起外号♥
Stop calling me names!
孩子们
Boys?
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