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我有责任告诉你现在是什么状况
it is my duty to remind you of what you've got there.
娶到她 你是大大的高攀了
You married way, way above your station.
建议你别让她意识到这一点
I'd be careful not to give her a reason to notice.
我老爸不是好人
Oh, my father, he wasn't a very nice man.
他跟你们的爸爸不一样
He wasn't like your father.
为什么
Why not?
你们的爸爸很优秀
Well, your father, he's good.
没有恶习
He doesn't have vices.
你们明白恶习是什么吗
You know what a vice is?
恶习是种坏习惯
A vice is like a bad habit,
比如咬指甲 但是更严重
like bitin' your nails, but worse.
-比如吸毒 -没错 差不多
- Like drugs? - Yeah, that's right.
那是我的恶习
That was my vice.
你从哪弄来毒品的呢
Where would you get drugs?
这是个好问题 苔丝
Well, that's an interesting question, Tess.
让我想想
Let's see...
我曾经吸的可♥卡♥因♥...
Well, the cocaine I used to...
-好了 可以了 -好了 孩子们
- OK. That's good. - Okay, kids.
我们得准备上学了
Let's get ready for school, okay?
快点
Come on.
我有个好消息
Hey, so I got good news.
我给你预约了一个免疫疗法的专家
I got you an appointment with an immunotherapy specialist.
-不用麻烦了 -不 这没什么
- Oh, that's not necessary. - No, it was nothing.
我公♥司♥的同事有门路
Guy at my firm had an in.
这人做了不少突破性研究
This guy is doing some really ground-breaking stuff.
谢谢 那太好了
Thank you, that's very kind.
应该的
You got it.
来吧 宝贝
Oh, hey, come on, baby.
深吸一口 好吗
I need you to take one big, deep breath for me, okay?
很好
Oh, that's good.
可以了
All right.
我的恶习是哮喘
My vice is asthma.
他的是可♥卡♥因♥
His is cocaine.
好了 把外套带上
All right, so let's get our jackets.
去拿上你的衣服
Go and get your coat.
甜心 拿好你的午饭
Honey, here, take your lunch.
去吧
Here you go.
对不起
Hey, I'm sorry.
我知道现在跟她们说可♥卡♥因♥太早了
I know they're too young to talk about cocaine.
我只是...
I just...
六岁吸可♥卡♥因♥是不是太早了
I feel like six is a hair young for cocaine...
没错 等到了七岁再让她们试试
Yeah, but seven... We let them try it at seven.
今天你去做什么 威廉
Um, so... what are you up to today, William?
没什么事 跟平时一样
Oh, nothing much. The usual.
能待在这里我真的很开心
I've really enjoyed being here.
跟孩子们在一起 让我觉得很满足
Being around those girls-- it fills me in a way...
但我不配过得这么幸福 所以
in a way I surely don't deserve, so...
如果我待太久给你们添麻烦了
I hope you'll let me know
希望你们要及时告诉我
when I've overstayed my welcome.
别说傻话
You know, don't be silly.
我们很高兴你能留下
We're happy to have you.
那我们就不打扰你了
We'll let you get on with your day.
冒昧问一句 我能不能
I was wondering if I could be so forward
问你们要几美元坐公车
as to ask you for a few dollars for the bus.
没事 应该的
Oh, sure. Sure.
你要去哪里
Where you going?
随便转转
Oh, you know, just around.
维克多 我的兄弟
Victor. My man.
你还好吗
How you been?
-我是赫克托 -对极了
- I've been Hector. - Right on. Yeah.
对不起 最近事情有点多
Yeah, and I'm sorry. I got a lot on my mind.
不知道你听说了吗 我离开剧组了
I don't know if you heard the news. I left the show.
今天我就是来和团队开会的
Yeah. I'm gonna meet with the team today.
制订接下来的计划
You know, we're gonna strategize, talk next steps.
好多东西需要解决 好多东西要谈
Lots to figure out, lots to talk about.
太激动了
It's exciting.
对所有人来说都是激动人心的时刻
Exciting times for everyone involved.
凯文
Kevin,
你还记得当初我是在哪找到你的吗
do you remember where you were when I found you?
当然 我当时在一个即兴喜剧剧团
Yeah, sure. I was, uh, in an improv comedy troupe.
没错
That's right.
当我看到你的第一场表演
And when I saw your first show,
你知道我想的是什么吗 凯文
do you know what I thought to myself, Kevin?
-不知道 -我想的是 我做到了
- No, I-I... - I thought to myself... I've done it.
我找到了这世上最不搞笑的人
I have found the least funny person on the entire planet.
好吧
Okay.
但我看到了别的闪光点
But I saw something there,
所以我带走了你
so I took you on.
我给你接了广♥告♥
And I got you the commercials,
帮你接肥皂剧
got you the soaps,
我还帮你找到一份
eventually got you a job paying you
年薪三百万的工作
almost three million dollars a year,
让你名声大噪 就算你在室外27度时
making you so famous that you could wear a ski cap
戴着滑雪帽 也没人会说三道四
when it is 80 degrees outside, and no one would say a damn thing.
好了 蕾妮
Okay, Lanie...
把帽子摘了
Take off that hat.
好吧
Okay.
木已成舟 不是吗
What's done is done, right?
我们能不能就...
I mean, you know, can't we just...
别再提了
move on?
布莱恩 说话
Brian... speak.
你跟节目组签的合同还有两年才到期
You're contractually bound to the show for another two years.
好吧
Okay.
好吧 如果我不演呢
All right, and if I refuse?
好了 仔细听我说 凯文
Right, listen to me very carefully, Kevin.
电视网是你的老板
The network owns you.
他们会起诉你赔偿损失
They can sue you for damages.
他们会让你倾家荡产
They could bankrupt you.
即使有人往他们公共饮用水里
And even if someone slipped a chill pill
放了镇静药
into their collective drink,
在法律约束下 你未来两年也无法工作
you would still be legally unable to work for the next two years.
无论是在哪家工作室 电视网
That's for any studio, any network.
电视剧或是电影
Television or film.
所以...
So...
以上是好消息
that's the good news.
下面要说的这部分你不会喜欢
Now here's the part you're not gonna like.
她今晚要在她家
She's throwing this big...
举办一个大型好莱坞派对 对吗
Hollywood party at her house tonight, right?
电视网总裁和很多人会到场
The network president's gonna be there, everyone.
我要到过去 五体投地恳请他们
I'm supposed to show up, get down on my hands and knees
让我继续演《靓男保姆》
and beg to be the Manny again. Yeah.
他们是我老板 妹妹 我不知道该怎么办
They own me, Sis. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
我知道 并且你已经做了
Well, I do, and you did it already.
需要我给你看那段网上的视频吗
Do you need me to show you the video on YouTube?
不用了
No.
凯文 我都认识你一辈子了
Kevin, I've known you your whole life.
除了最初的那两分钟
Well, except for those two minutes at the beginning.
你努力的每件事都成功了
You've succeed at everything you've ever tried.
所以接下来这样 好吗
So here's what's gonna happen. Okay?
你去参加那派对
You're gonna go to that party,
大步走向那电视网老总
and you're gonna march up to that network guy,
然后大声说"奶爸不干了"
and you're gonna tell him, "Manny out!"
"奶爸不干了"
Manny out?
奶爸不干了 奶爸不干了
Manny out. Manny out!
你不该那样说... 好吧
Well, you're not supposed to say the... Okay.
奶爸不干了 真不错
Manny out! That's good.
问你个问题
Let me ask you a question.
在你没出生的头两分钟里 我是怎么过的
What did I ever do those first two minutes without you?
你嚎啕大哭 还像个"搅屎棍"
Oh, you cried, and you crapped a lot.
听起来是我的风格
Sounds about right. Yeah.
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