百年酒馆（2016）

Horace and Pete S01E07

Part 1 Oct. 19, 2020, 12:50 p.m.

Fuck this fuckin' guy.
我♥操♥ 这个傻♥逼♥
Comedian asshole.
讲笑话的混账
Which one?
哪一个
Ronnie Wilkis?
Ronnie Wilkis
Who's that?
那是谁
I made it up.
我编的
No, he means Casey Louistein, right?
不他说的是Casey Louistein 对吧
He said that thing about Trump.
他说的那些关于Trump的话
Yeah, shithead, half a clown
是啊脑残跳梁小丑
telling me how to vote, like he knows anything?
还告诉我怎么投票就他什么都懂
I don't think he was trying to tell you how to vote.
我觉得他不是告诉你怎么投票
I think he just-He wanted you to think
我觉得他只是他想要你觉得
No, no, no.
不不不
Just tell your dumb jokes and
讲讲那些蠢段子就行了
shut the fuck up so that grown folks can talk.
然后就他妈闭嘴让大人说话
I hate when celebrities
我烦死那些名人
think that anybody cares about what they think.
觉得所有人都在意他们的想法
So fucking annoying. Bourbon on the rocks.
太他妈烦人了波本加冰
Oh, I don't know how to vote!
噢我不懂怎么投票
I need Casey Louistein to come from on high
我需要Casey Louistein屈尊
and tell me who's Hitler, 'cause everyone's Hitler.
来告诉我谁是希♥特♥勒♥ 因为人人都是希♥特♥勒♥
I need a Hollywood sodomite to let me know what's what.
我需要一个好莱坞鸡♥奸♥狂来教我
Sodomite, sodomite.
鸡♥奸♥狂索多玛人
What does that come from?
这词从哪来的
From, uh, Sodom.
从呃索多玛
Yeah, Sodom and Gomorrah.
对索多玛和蛾摩拉
But I don't-I never knew that story,
可我不我一直都不清楚那个故事
like, I don't know what that story was.
我不知道那是讲什么的
You don't know the story of Sodom and Gomorrah?
你不知道索多玛和蛾摩拉的故事
Not really.
不知道
That's how we know homos should burn, according to the Bible.
那是圣经告诉我们同性恋必须被烧死的原因
Oh.
哦
I don't think that, but the Bible,
我不这么想但圣经
that's where it teaches us about
是这么教导我们的
What's that story? What's Sodom and Gomorrah?
那是什么故事关于索多玛和蛾摩拉
You know, it's Abraham,
你懂的就是亚伯拉罕
the father of Israel and his brother Lot,
以色列人之父还有他弟弟罗得
and they're picking a place to live, right?
他们选择了自己的住地对吧
They each-I don't know why they have to live in separate spots,
他们各自我不懂他们为什么非要分开住
but they can't live near each other,
反正他们住的不近
so Abraham picks the wilderness,
然后亚伯兰罕选了原野上
where good folks live in tents, right?
全是些住在帐篷里的好人对吧
Away from sin and what have you.
远离罪恶之类的东西
And then Lot, uh, I think 'cause his wife likes fancy things,
然后罗得呃好像他老婆喜欢高档货
he goes to Sodom, which is--
所以他去了索多玛那是个
You know, it's like a gay neighborhood, so it's nice, right?
就像是同性恋社区一样的地方还不错对吧
I'm not really clear on what Gomorrah did wrong.
我不太清楚蛾摩拉做错了什么
I know sodomy is where we get butt fucking from.
我只知道索多玛是肛♥交♥的发源地
It's just wrong hole usage, so Gomorrah, who
错误的洞洞用法所以蛾摩拉
That must have been ten times worse,
一定比那还要糟糕十倍
'cause they don't even bring them up.
因为甚至都没提到他们
But Lot moved to Sodom, and you know, it's the biggest city
总之罗得搬到了索多玛那是最大的城市
and these people can't use the right hole to save their lives,
那些人却不会使用正确的洞洞来救命
and as you know, God cares deeply about that,
如你所知上帝对此深表关心
so he goes to Abraham and he goes, I gotta tell you,
所以他去找亚伯拉罕跟他说我告诉你
where your brother lives, I mean, it's crazy,
你弟弟住的地方已经疯了
they are just fucking anything and everything
他们操遍天地日翻乾坤
and I'm gonna just have to burn it with fire.
我只能一把火都烧了
That's how bad it's getting, you know?
就是这么个情况明白了吗
And Abraham goes, Lord, please, don't
亚伯拉罕说主啊求您不要
Don't murder everyone in the city, you know?
不要杀光城里的所有人
What if there's just 20-20 righteous men?
如果还有20 20个正直的人呢
Twenty righteous men, don't kill them.
二十个直男不要杀了他们
And God goes, all right, hold on, I'm gonna check.
上帝说好吧等等啊我检查一下
Nope. There's not.
没有一个都没有
And then Abraham goes, okay, 10.
然后亚伯拉罕说好吧那十个
He Jews God down
他跟上帝还价
and God ain't having it and he goes, nah, there's not even 10.
上帝不答应他说 10个也没有
He goes, but cheer up,
他说别伤心
I'm gonna save your brother and his family,
我会救你弟弟一家的
and what God does is send
所以上帝派了
two angels disguised as travelers, okay?
两个乔装成旅人的天使对吧
And they're gonna get Lot out before the big, you know, droning.
他们会在无人机轰炸之前把罗得带走
The biblical droning, let's call it.
圣经式轰炸就这么叫吧
So, uh, so they show up and
所以呃所以他们出现了
they're explaining to Lot what's happening,
他们向罗得解释事情的经过
and all of a sudden,
突然之间
there's a knock at the door and it's the entire city.
有人敲门外面是全城的人
Like, the whole
就像整个
Every man and boy in the city, like every single one has shown up
城里的每一个男人和男孩每个人都出现了
and surrounded the house and they say,
包围了房♥子他们说
hey, Lot, you know those guys that just came into your house?
喂罗得你家刚来的那些人是谁啊
Those two strangers?
那两个陌生人
Send 'em out, because we're gonna all fuck 'em.
把他们交出来我们都要干♥他♥们
No. Yeah.
不就是这样的
This is in the Bible? I'm paraphrasing it, but it's
这是圣经里说的我是转述意译的但确实
They're gonna fuck 'em. Yeah, I don't-I don't get it either.
他们想上人家对我也不是很懂
I don't know if that's like the last...
我不知道那是不是最后的
Maybe they've just all fucked so much
也许他们干得太多了
that there's not a new hole in town,
城里都没有一个新鲜的洞洞了
but I don't know when Lot moved in
我也不知道罗得搬过来的时候
how he got past that gauntlet of dicks that apparently
是怎么躲过群屌♥围攻的
Anyway, so Lot goes--
总而言之罗得说
Now, this is also important,
现在这段也很重要
because besides how we know homos are bad,
因为通过圣经除了让我们知道搞基不好以外
according to the Bible, this is also how we know
还告诉了我们
that a straight man's asshole virginity is much more sacred
一个直男菊花的贞洁
and precious than like your garbage pussy, okay?
比你们那些垃圾木耳圣洁珍贵得多
Not you. You said my pussy is garbage?
不是说你你说我的木耳是垃圾
Well, no, all pussy is garbage, just in the eyes of God.
不所有的木耳都是垃圾在上帝的眼里
Not to me, I like it.
不是我说的我很喜欢的
But I'm just saying, in the Bible, your
我就是说在圣经里你那里
To compare-just an asshole hair of mine is worthless,
连我一根屁♥眼♥毛都比不上
and that's in the story,
书上是这么说的
so they go send these guys out and Lot goes, oh, my God, don't
于是他们想要逼那些人出来罗得说我的神啊别
Please don't fuck our guests.
别干我们的客人
All of you.
你们都别干
And he goes, look, take my two daughters.
他接着说这样把我两个女儿带走
No. He has two daughters, yeah.
不他有两个女儿
He goes, take my two
他说把我的两个
'Cause I know you guys gotta rape something, right?
我知道你们必须要强♥奸♥点什么对吧
So at least get it in the right hole.
那至少干对洞
I mean, actually, fuck 'em wherever you want,
讲真你们想干那里都可以
but just please don't harm these two guys I've never met before.
但就是别伤害这两个我从没见过的男人
So That happened to my uncle.
所以我叔叔就做过这种事
Well, so things looked pretty grim, you know, for those angels.
在天使们看来事情已经变得很恶心了
Yeah, so And the angels say, let's
对所以天使们说我们
Now we're gonna step in,
我们要介入了
and they strike everyone blind, the whole
他们让所有人都瞎掉了全城
Every man in the city and boy, blind.
城里的每个男人和男孩都瞎了
And then they keep looking
然而他们就算盲了
for the angels even though they're blind.
也还在找天使们
That's one of my favorite parts and they're like, where...
这是我最喜欢的一段他们就像
Where are those angels? I gotta have 'em.
天使在哪里我要他们
And the angels lead Lot and his family out of the city,
天使们带领罗得一家离开了城里
'cause now there's time to explode,
因为现在到了爆♥炸♥时间了
and they go listen, this-Don't even look back.
他们说听着不要回头
We're just gonna run straight outta here,
我们直接从这里跑出去
do not look back, whatever you do.
不要回头看无论怎样
Don't take any of your stuff, we're just getting the hell out.
不要带东西我们直接走