百年酒馆（2016）

Horace and Pete S01E03

Part 4 Oct. 19, 2020, 12:47 p.m.

Sounds like you guys are fucking.
听上去好像你们已经上♥床♥了
Oh, shit.
我靠
I don't know, I don't know. I don't know what to do.
我不知道我不知道该怎么办
I-- I can't stop, and...
我停不下来
I mean, if I don't stop,
但是如果我不停下来
then all these people are gonna get so hurt.
那这些人都会受到极大的伤害
I just want to die.
我想一死了之
Just the other night, I-- I cried so hard till morning,
前几天晚上我一直哭到天亮
and, um, I thought--
我感觉
I just felt like my back was against a bed of rusty nails.
如躺针毡坐卧难安
And I thought of you, Horace,
然后我想起你了 Horace
and I thought of how when I found out about you and Rosemary
我想起我是发现你和Rosemary的事情时
and how much I hated you and how--
我是多么恨你
And how could you do that to the family, you know,
你怎么能对家庭做出这种事
to the kids and to me and to yourself?
对孩子们对我对你自己做出这种事
And then-- and then, I was like, oh, Jesus Christ.
然后我想到天呐
The guy was 21, I was 32, and I married him.
他那时候才21岁我都32岁了我嫁给了他
I mean, I made him marry me.
我强迫他娶了我
It's not that hard to make a guy that age do what you want.
让一个年纪轻轻的人听你的话并不难
He's so used to still listening to his mother.
他还习惯于听他妈发号♥施令
And so, I just thought, how was that like for you?
然后我就想你到底是怎么过来的
'Cause, I mean, I had never thought about how--
我从来没有想过
How was it like for you?
你那时是怎样一种状态
So you thought that maybe I could help you now
所以你觉得我现在可以帮你
because I went through it when I cheated on you?
因为我外遇的时候也经历了这种事吗
Yeah.
是啊
Well, that's...
这真是
Can you give me a minute?
能不能给我点时间
I'll be right back.
我去去就来
Okay.
好了
What, did you go jerk off or something?
你去撸管还是什么了吗
Well, my head is clear now.
我头脑清醒了
And-- and I am sorry.
抱歉
Okay, it's all right, it's all right.
没关系没什么
So you're in a-- you're in a pretty fucked up situation.
你现在你现在的情况比较操蛋
Yes, I am, yes, I am. Well, I know how that feels.
确实如此我知道那是什么感觉
Yes, you do. That's why--
你当然知道所以我才
Okay, well, look, Sarah.
听我说 Sarah
I mean...
我是说
you know, it's funny, we never talked about it.
说来可笑我们从没有谈过这事
That's true.
说得对
Well, look, let me-- let me just say this off the bat, okay?
我跟你打开天窗说亮话
If you keep doing this with this guy,
如果你要继续跟他搞下去
and I'm not judging you, obviously.
当然我没有在指责你
I mean, people do what they-- they do what they do.
大家都会有形形色♥色♥的癖好
But you really have two choices.
但是你只有两条路可走
Stop and forget about it,
马上停止忘掉一切
or keep doing it, in which case, everybody's gonna know.
或者跟他照旧这么一来所有人都会知道
Oh, my God. Well, come on, Sarah.
天呐别这样 Sarah
There's no other way.
没别的办法了
I mean, you know it.
你也知道的
If you keep fucking this guy, someone's gonna find out,
如果你继续跟他上♥床♥ 肯定有人会发现的
which means everyone's gonna find out,
然后就人人皆知了
and then all the worst things that you're imagining,
然后你能想象到的最可怕的事
they're all gonna happen.
都会一一发生
So if you keep doing it--
所以如果你打算继续开搞
And again, God bless, do what you gotta do.
上苍保佑请你做你想做的事
But it's all gonna happen, all that awful stuff,
那些霉事都会发生的
so you need to reconcile with that
这些事都要你自己去化解了
and start thinking about how you're gonna deal with it,
你得想想要怎么处理这种事
or stop.
或者就别这么干了
That's not really a choice.
也没什么选择的余地了
Yeah, I know.
的确
None of it is a choice. You can't stop.
两个都不算是选择你又停不下来
No.
对
I mean, he's just beautiful, he smells good.
他那么玉树临风气若兰香
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay.
好了吧你省省
I know what you're saying is true.
我知道你说的句句属实
I know what I need to do.
我知道我该做什么
I can't do it.
但是我做不到
So I'm not asking what I should do.
我不是在问我应该做什么
You're asking...
那你是在问
How did I not kill myself?
我是怎么才没弄死自己的
Jesus.
天呐
I remember feeling like that.
我记得这种感觉
That was-- that's a...
那真是真是
That's a bad feeling.
真是糟透了
I mean, you're doing something that--
你所做的事
I was doing something
我所做的事
that was the end of absolutely everything
简直是一切事情的终结
and I kept-- I kept doing it.
但我仍然那么做了
Yeah.
是啊
I never thought about killing myself,
我从没想过自杀
but I used to have fantasies about something happening to me,
但是我幻想过有坏事发生在我身上
you know, like getting hit by a truck or falling off a cliff.
比如被车撞或者从悬崖上掉下去
That's a bad feeling.
那感觉真糟
So, well...
然后
I met your sister...
在我们开始拍拖的时候
when we started dating.
我遇到了你妹妹
Like we were dating for about a month,
在我们交往了大约一个月的时候
right before we got married.
就在结婚之前
And I cannot believe we got married that quick.
不敢相信我们竟然结婚那么快
Yeah, that was dumb.
蠢到家了
I don't know, I don't know.
说不上来
So... So...
那么所以
you remember...
你还记不记得
I went to dinner with you and your family?
那次我跟你家人一起吃饭
Mm-hmm, sure.
记得
Do you want to hear this? Sure.
你想听吗说吧
Okay, so that's when I first met her, was at that dinner,
那是我第一次见到她那天晚饭
and I-- I forgot-- I don't know why,
我忘记了不知道为什么
but I asked her why she-- when she graduated high school,
我问她她什么时候高中毕业
and you made that joke, you said, "She's your age, Horace."
然后你开玩笑说她跟你年龄挺般配的 Horace
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I remember that.
对我还记得这事
This doesn't bother you to hear about this?
你听我说这些的时候不难过吗
No, it's helping me. I think it's--
没有挺有帮助的
Did you forgive me or--
你有没有原谅我
No. No, I never did.
从未原谅过
I stayed mad at you for years.
我生气生了好多年
Why would I forgive you for fucking my sister?
我为什么会原谅你上了我妹妹
Breaking apart the family? Doing that to the kids?
拆散我们的家庭辜负我们的孩子
Just, you don't seem mad anymore.
但是你看起来不再生气了
I'm not, it just went away.
不生气了都烟消云散了
It's kinda sad.
也挺悲伤的
No, I was so mad at you,
我气急败坏到
I would walk around all day with these bad feelings,
整日都被这种情绪缠绕
about what you did
对你的所作为
and I thought, well, someday, something'll happen, you know,
然后我想某时某刻总会有什么事发生
I'll be overcome by a wave of kindness, or I'll just--
这些情绪都被喜乐平静所覆盖
or I'll just figure out a different way to look at it
或者我会找到另一个看待这件事情的角度
and I'll forgive you and I'll feel good, but instead,
然后我会原谅你我会好起来然而
what happens is, time just takes the feelings away,
事实是只有情绪随时间消散
they just kinda get dim with time going by,
随着时光渐渐模糊
they just go away and you don't get to figure it out.
就那么消失了由不得你去弄明白
It's like erosion, it just goes away.
就像被时光侵蚀慢慢消失了
It's kinda sad.
说起来挺悲伤的
Anyway, uh, I don't feel anything about it, Horace.
不管怎样我对此已经没感觉了
But, well, all that's left is,
剩下的就只有好奇
I'm curious how you got through it.
你当时是怎么熬过这些的
Okay.
好吧