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Fine. I'll just tell her that you fucked somebody.
我敢肯定她已经听说了
I'm pretty sure she already heard.
把你手♥机♥给我 你被禁足了
Give me your phone. You're grounded.
如果你以为伤害了你我却一点都不痛苦的话
And if you think it doesn't pain me to know that I hurt you,
那你就错了 我很抱歉
you are wrong, and I'm deeply sorry.
你不应该受到这种待遇
You deserve better.
该死 真是见了鬼的一天
Oh, fuck, what a shitty fucking day!
天啊 这一天真够受的
Hi. God, that was a long one.
能给我一杯酒吗
Can I get a glass of wine?
好的 我其实已经给你倒了一杯
Well, yeah, I actually poured you a glass right over there.
好吧
Okay.
天啊
Oh, boy. Ooh.
哇 外面
Hey. Wow, that's really,
真的挺好看
that's really nice out there.
我喜欢你对着电视讲话的样子
I love the way that you talk to the TV.
我喜欢你跳舞时
A-And I love that you dance
闭着眼睛的样子
with your eyes closed.
你这是怎么了
What are you doing?
你就是我要找的那个人
You're my person.
不
No.
是
Yes.
我的人生永远都需要你
I need you in my life forever.
别瞎闹
Do not fuck with me.
天啊
Oh, my God.
索菲·苏亚雷斯
Sophie Suarez...
你愿意嫁给我吗
will you marry me?
答应我 嫁给我好吗
Please? Will you marry me, please?
好
Yes.
-真的 -真的
- Yes? - Yes.
真的 真的 真的
Yes, yes, yes.
天啊 你等了那么长时间才同意
God, you waited a long time to say yes.
我不敢相信你要当我老婆了
I can't believe you're gonna be my wife.
这简直...天啊
This is just... Oh, man.
天啊
Oh, my...
天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊
Oh, my God.
没关系
It's okay.
不 不 不行
Oh, no. No, it's not okay.
戴不上
It doesn't fit.
戒指就是父系社会的一个象征
Rings are just a symbol of the patriarchy.
是的 但是我还是想给你买♥♥一个
Yeah, but I still want you to have one.
好吧 那我就戴
Yeah, I'll still take it.
我拿去调整一下尺寸
I'll get it resized.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
搞什么
Fuck!
-求婚了吗 -我跟她说应该等一会
- Did you do it? - I told her we should wait.
我紧张了 突然就安静了
Hey, I got nervous. It got quiet.
求婚了吗 答应了吗
Did you do it? So?
是的 我们订婚了 我们订婚了
Yeah, we're engaged! We're engaged!
天啊
Oh, my God!
我爱你 我太幸福了
I love you. I'm so happy-
天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我不敢相信你们俩早就知道
I can't believe you both knew.
我也不敢相信我能管住自己的嘴
I can't believe I kept my mouth shut.
我是伴郎吧
I get to be best man, right?
那当然了 来
Yeah! Of course. What? Come on!
大家准备好录节目了吗
Are you guys ready for the show?
让我听到你们的热情
Let me hear you.
这就对了
There we go.
你们准备好了吗
Are you ready?
好了 在座的各位
All right, you guys-
她来了
Here she is,
-所有人耳熟能详的名字 -喝水吗
- the name on everybody's lips. - Water?
你能行的 你是艾丽丝
You got this. You're Alice.
你是炙手可热的人物
You're the name on everybody's lips.
艾丽丝
Alice!
大家好 谢谢 谢谢
Hi. Thank you. Thank you.
非常感谢 好了 好了
Thank you so much. Please. Please, please, please.
谢谢 回到台上真是太好了
Thank you. Oh, it is so great to be back.
真的 我特别想念你们
It really is. I have missed you all so much.
刚才那个热场挺长啊
Uh-- that hiatus was really long, wasn't it?
感觉就像是 过了十年差不多
Felt like it was, like, a decade or something. Huh?
-是不是 希瑟 -确实是
- Right, Heather? - Sure did.
你已经认识我的第三个表妹了
Yeah, oh, you met my third cousin?
是的 对的
Yes. Ha. Yeah.
假期过得怎么样
And-- So how was your break?
我一直在谷区的
I was just hanging out
合租单身公♥寓♥里瞎玩
in my, uh, shared studio apartment in the Valley,
就等着节目回归了
just waiting for the show to come back.
好吧 你总是把
Yeah. Is there a reason
合租的事挂在最边上是不是有什么原因
you keep bringing up that you share an apartment?
我只知道
I just know that
你家有一个多余的卧室
you have an extra bedroom at your house
-还特别精致 -好吧
- and it's real fancy. - Okay. Oh...
不 我明白了
No, I get it.
拿铁明天见
See you latte.
好了 女士们先生们以及其他朋友门
All right, ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between,
我特别荣幸地请出
it is my absolute pleasure to welcome
我的闺蜜 洛杉矶市长候选人
my dear friend and candidate for L.A. mayor--
她喜欢喝加一份粗糖的黑咖啡
she likes her coffee black with one raw sugar--
贝特·波特
Bette Porter!
感谢你来上节目
Well, thank you so much for coming.
-谢谢你请我来 -彻底揭秘一下
- Thank you for having me. - Uh, full disclosure,
我们已经相识25年了
we've known each other for about 25 years.
没错
Yes, that's right.
在这25年里 我对你宽容过吗
Okay, and in those 25 years, have I ever gone easy on you?
网开一面过吗
Cut you any slack?
-放你一马过吗 -从来都没有
Let you off the hook? Not even for
-一天都没有 艾丽丝 -好吧
- a single day, Alice. - Yeah. Okay.
那么 你的投票人知道你十来年前
So, do your voters know that you stole a billboard
偷过一块公告板吗
in the mid-aughts?
我们借的 艾丽丝
Uh, we-we borrowed it, Alice.
"我们" 我们借的
Oh, "we" we borrowed it.
你是说... 好吧 好吧 你是打算
Oh, you're put-- Okay. Okay. Were you gonna
在截稿的时候说的吗 因为我没收到这一条
keep that on the DL? Because I didn't get that memo.
-我们应该说了 -好吧 我没看到
- I think we should. - Yeah. Well, I missed that.
好了 我们再挖点料
All right, let's dig in.
如果你一直生活在重压之下
So, in case you've been living under a rock,
昨天的论♥坛♥
yesterday during a forum,
一位经确认名为泰勒·亚当斯的男子
a man who's since been identified as Tyler Adams
公开指责市长候选人贝特·波特
publicly accused mayoral candidate Bette Porter
和他的妻子有染
of having an affair with his wife.
是真的吗 是的
Is that correct? That's correct.
那你今天为什么想来上节目呢
So why did you want to come on the show today?
为什么不让这种事情
I mean, why not let something like that
慢慢平息呢
just kind of blow over?
因为我不会因羞愧而选择沉默
Well, because I won't be shamed into silence.
从历史上来说
I mean, historically,
我这个位置的女人通常会这样
that's what happens to women in my position.
我们感到羞愧 然后就退出了 但是我不会
We're shamed and then we stand down, but I won't.
现在不会 以后也不会
Not now, not ever.
那么 你因为
So, are you sorry
和已婚女士发♥生♥关♥系♥而感到抱歉吗
that you slept with a married woman?
这很难说 因为我
Well, it's tricky because I-I...
不想让大家认为 在我的意识里
I don't want anyone to think that I'm okay
造成别人的痛苦是我所谓的 因为我这么想
with causing another person pain, because I'm not.
但我又不想让这一切看起来像是在
But I also don't want it to seem like I'm apologizing
为了跟一个你情我愿的成年人发♥生♥关♥系♥而道歉
for having a relationship with a consenting adult
因为这也是我不愿意
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