金色年代

The Goldbergs S01E14

Part 3 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:12 p.m.

比如说男人爱上了女人
Like, when a man loves a woman,
麦克·施密特就会挥棒接韦德·博格斯的投球
Mike Schmidt steps up to the plate against Wade Boggs.
韦德·博格斯打三垒他为什么要投球
Wade Boggs plays third. Why is he pitching?
好吧韦德·博格斯现在是史提夫·卡尔特
Fine! Wade Boggs is now Steve Carlton.
史提夫这显然是男生的名字
Steve? That's clearly a dude's name.
好吧女性部位是波·杰克逊
Okay, the girl's parts are gonna be, uh, Bo Jackson.
-根本说不通 -波是女生的名字
- That makes no sense. - Bo's a girl's name!
现在是冬季
It's wintertime.
波·杰克逊去打橄榄球了
That's when Bo Jackson plays football.
他永远不会和麦克·施密特同时比赛
He'd never be on the same field as Mike Schmidt.
我从来没想过会跟你说这话
I never thought that I would ever say this to you,
但你想得太多了白♥痴♥
but you're over-thinking this, you moron.
我是白♥痴♥吗
I'm a moron?
你还是麦克·施密特呢
Well, you're a Mike Schmidt!
-收回 -绝不
- Take that back! - Never!
[原句为头从屁♥股♥里出来意为别发疯了]
把你的头从郝西瑟中拿出来[名棒球投手]
Get your head out of your Orel Hershiser
立马给我回来
and come back here right now!
不管怎样
For what it's worth,
我觉得棒球这套太令人困惑了
I found that whole baseball thing very confusing.
-这么差吗 -很差劲
- That bad, huh? - It was bad.
什么样的16岁男生连一点基本性知识
What kind of 16-year-old boy doesn't even know
都没有
the basics of the birds and the bees?
默里他什么都知道
Murray, he knows everything.
你三年前放弃时我就跟他谈过了
I gave him the talk three years ago when you dropped the ball.
他在耍你呢
He's just messing with you.
这么说他想谈性了
So he wants a sex talk, huh?
我会跟他谈性狠狠地谈一次
Well, I'm gonna give him a sex talk, but good.
或者你不刁难他
Or, instead of trying to spite him,
而是来次真正的谈话
you actually have a real conversation about it,
这对他来说意义太大了
which would mean the world to him.
不我还是用我的办法
No, I'm gonna go with my thing.
我爸实施计划时
As my dad was putting his plan into motion,
我在祈祷爱丽卡的计划也能实施
I was praying Erica was, as well.
死定了
Oh, balls.
宝贝看看妈妈买♥♥了什么
Hey, boopie. Look what mama bought.
现在我们是降落伞伙伴了
Now we're parachute pals.
不根本没这说法脱掉
No! That's not a thing. Take 'em off.
-我花钱买♥♥了裤子 -别穿这条裤子
- I paid for the pants. - Don't wear the pants.
-我要穿这条裤子 -别穿这条裤子
- I'm wearing the pants. - Don't wear the pants.
-妈 -看爱丽卡来了
- Hey, mom? - Oh, look, it's Erica.
看我在地下室找到的这箱旧照片
Check out this box of old photos that I found in the basement.
多美好的回忆啊
Man, such good memories.
我们应该想办法整理下
We should, like, organize these in some sort of way.
也许贴成一本书会很有意思的
Maybe in, like, a book? That would be fun.
我的天爱丽卡
Holy Erica.
我一直求你
I have been begging you
和我一起做剪贴簿都求了几年了
to make a scrapbook with me for years!
-那我们现在就来做 -现在吗
- Well, let's make it right now. - Oh, now?
不行我得做亚当学校舞会的监护人
God, no. I've got to chaperone Adam's dance tonight.
明天一早我们天一亮就起来
Tomorrow morning, we'll wake up at dawn
好好地整理下
and really hit it hard.
怎么样
What do you say?
我有点没兴趣了
Eh... I'm kind of losing interest.
不别没兴趣
Oh, no, no. Don't lose interest.
两件事我都能做
Um...I can do both.
亚当我们舞会上见
Adam, I'll meet you at the dance.
爱丽卡别走开
Erica, don't move.
我这就上楼去拿罩衫和喷胶枪
I'm just gonna run upstairs and get my smock and glue gun.
这里面的照片上千张
There's 1,000 pictures in this box.
她不可能赶得上舞会的
There's no way she's gonna make it to that dance.
我跟你说过我爱你吗
Have I mentioned that I love you?
再说一遍我就不帮你了
Say it one more time, and I won't help you.
爱丽卡真的做到了
Erica had actually pulled it off.
我妈会整晚困在家里了
My mom was gonna be stuck home all night!
好了可可来了
All right, got our cocoa.
咱们来放松然后接下来几小时
Let's cozy up and spend the next few hours
重温下我的人生
reliving my entire life.
完成了
And...done!
什么你怎么做到的
What? How did you do this?
拜托我在脑海中
Please, I've had this whole thing
已经筹划几年了
mapped out in my mind for years.
你做了压花
You...pressed flowers...
每张照片下都有我最爱的歌♥词
And put my favorite music lyrics beneath each photo.
花了些时间
Take some time with it.
这就像我人生美丽的万花筒
It's like a beautiful kaleidoscope of my life.
对非常感人
Yeah, touching stuff.
现在我要去舞会了
Now, I've got to get to that dance.
不主动哪能跳起来
The jam's not gonna pump itself up.
爱丽卡的计划失败时
While Erica's plan had failed,
我爸又给了自己的计划一次机会
My dad was giving his one more shot.
巴瑞有时间吗
Hey, uh, Bar, you got a sec?
我想我们应该谈一次男人间的
I think we should have a talk, man to man.
真的吗好的
Really? Okay.
我这人从来不擅长交流
I've never been a great communicator,
所以我觉得我应该尽可能地直接精确
so I think I should keep things as direct and exact as possible.
-好的 -所以我们不仅只是要谈话
- All right. - So, we're not just gonna have the talk.
我们还要体验谈话内容
We're gonna experience the talk.
我们来角色扮演
We're gonna do some role-playing.
我是女生你是男生
I'm gonna be the girl. You'll be the boy.
我们通过手来学习宝宝是怎么来的
And we're gonna learn where babies come from with our hands.
-拿一个布偶 -我不要布偶
- Take a Fraggle. - I don't want the Fraggle.
我是个漂亮的布偶女生
I'm a pretty Fraggle girl.
你想来我公♥寓♥ 喝杯睡前酒吗
Would you like to come up to my condo for a nightcap?
我从护理学院毕业后一直很孤单
I've been so lonely since I put myself through nursing school.
布偶们没有公♥寓♥
Fraggles don't own condos!
拿去把手放进布偶里
Take it. Put your hand in the Fraggle.
把布偶从我面前拿走
Keep the Fraggle away from me!
-快拿着 -别这样我是在耍你
- Take it now! - Stop it! I was messing with you!
我什么都知道好吗
I know everything, okay?
我知道你什么都知道
I know you know everything.
那你为什么折磨我
Then why are you torturing me?
因为你折磨了我
Because you tortured me!
什么样的白♥痴♥要让自己的父亲
What kind of moron makes their dad
在不需要的情况下非得来那番谈话
give them the talk when they don't need the talk?
-谁会这样做 -我
- Who does that? - Me.
知道为什么吗
And you know why?
因为你根本不会费心
'cause you couldn't be bothered
在我需要谈话的时候和我谈
to have the talk when I actually needed it.
父亲应该教孩子们知识
Dads are supposed to teach their kids stuff --
如何投出快球换轮胎刮胡子
How to throw a fastball and change a tire and shave.
你什么也没教过我
You never taught me anything.
容我辩解一句我会的非常少
In my defense, I-I-I know very little.
还有布偶们他们做不了护士
And Fraggles -- they can't be nurses.
[《布偶奇遇记》的主题曲歌♥词]
他们跳舞跳到没心没肺
They dance their cares away.
我爸在家里被三振出局
As my dad was striking out at home,
我准备好在学校的舞池里显身手了
I was ready to hit the dance floor at school.
唯一的问题是在初中舞会上
The only problem was that at a junior-high dance,
孩子们不跳舞但这没关系
kids don't dance, but that didn't matter.
爱丽卡把我妈拖在家里
With my mom distracted by Erica at home,
是时候让戴娜看到我的超棒舞技了
it was time for me to show Dana my awesome moves.
可以和你跳舞吗
May I have this dance?
开玩笑我只是来做监护人的
Kidding -- I'm just here to chaperone.
除非你无聊了咱们来扭屁屁
Unless you're bored. Then let's boogie.
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?!
我说了我能赶来
I told you I'd make it.
现在我得叫你走
Now I'm gonna need you to leave.
你别这样好吗
Will you stop with that?
我真的很想来这次舞会
I really want to be here at this dance.
你不能剥夺我的乐趣亚当
You can't deny me that pleasure, Adam.