金色年代

The Goldbergs S01E11

Part 2 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:11 p.m.

I mean, who died and made you Ed Mcmahon?
约翰逊老师我们的体育老师
Mr. Johansson. Our gym teacher.
他去世了
He died.
这不重要巴瑞要上表演
Yeah, it doesn't matter. Barry is doing that show.
我会不计一切代价
I will go to the top on this.
我会向校长请♥愿♥ 还有学校董事会
I'll petition the principal, the school board,
监管人市长办公室
the superintendent, the mayor's office,
万不得已教♥育♥部♥部长
the U.S. Secretary of education if I have to.
怎么样安德鲁
So what's it gonna be, Andre?
你知道我的名字
You know my name.
我什么都知道
I know everything.
我被选上参加才艺表演了
I got into the talent show!
好消息我好意外
That's good news, and very surprising to me.
格拉斯科特老师说三州才艺表演委员会
Mr. Glascott said the tri-state talent show committee
开会裁决空手道是一种艺术形式
met and ruled that kara-te is an art form.
三州才艺表演委员会会议
Wow, the tri-state talent show committee met.
几乎令人无法相信啊
You know, that's almost unbelievable!
这是事实别再纠结了
Well, it happened, so let's just move on.
我们又回来了
Oh, man, we're back in business!
快做正经事
Let's get to work!
我去拿双节棍和爆竹
I'll go get my nunchucks and firecrackers.
不准用爆竹
No firecrackers!
这么说你威胁了一位老师
So... You threatened a teacher?
拜托我只是客气地建议
Please. I just gently suggested
他照我说的做
that he do what I say,
否则会有可怕的后果
or there'd be dire consequences.
为什么每次咱家孩子在学校不顺心
Why is it you go trotting down to the school
你就要杀到学校去
and yell at somebody every time one of our kids
把某人吼一顿
doesn't get their way?
我关心他们的成长这是好事
I'm involved. That's a good thing.
-你失控了 -我别无选择默里
- You are out of control! - I had no choice, Murray.
你见过巴瑞玩空手道吗
Have you even seen Barry do kara-te?
就像是美丽的芭蕾
It's like a beautiful ballet,
只是途中不断出拳咕噜还有滚来滚去
but with punching and grunting and rolling around.
上了八堂课他就退出了
He quit after eight lessons
因为他不想骑自行车去六条街外的教室
because he didn't want to bike the six blocks to get there.
这算是哪门子的查克·诺里斯[世界空手道冠军]
It hardly makes him Chuck Norris.
-是吗巴瑞过来 -什么事
- Oh, really? Barry, get in here. - What?
你父亲想在表演之前
Your father would like a sneak peek
先睹为快
of your routine before the big show.
亚当去拿爆竹
Adam, get the firecrackers.
-不准用爆竹 -不用爆竹
- No firecrackers! - No firecrackers.
龙形身法咿呀
Dragon stance! Kee-ya!
虎爪咿呀
Tiger claw! Kee-ya!
相扑战斧砍
Sumo tomahawk chop!
咿呀
Kee-ya!
助手呈上兵器
Assistant. Present weaponry.
双节棍
Nunchucks!
双节棍
Nunchucks.
没事我没事
That's okay. I'm okay.
金箍棒
Bo staff!
抱歉
Sorry.
现在
And now...
最致命的武器我的双拳
The most deadly weapon of 'em all--my hands.
不好打劫
Oh, no! A robber!
别担心凯莉·勒布洛克我来救你
Don't worry, Kelly Lebrock, I'll save you!
[著名女影星]
不不是这样
No--oh-- don't!
你不应该打我
You're not supposed to hit me.
放下武器亚当
Disarm! Adam!
老天你应该放下武器
Jeez, you're supposed to disarm.
你应该放手
You're supposed to let go!
他已经被解除武器了
He has been disarmed!
现在压轴戏
And now... The big finish.
该死
Damn!
在表演时会碎的
That'll break during the show.
我这辈子从来没见过
That was the greatest thing
这么精彩的表演
my eyeballs have ever, ever seen!
-要我再来一次吗 -太好了
- Do you want me to go again? - Yes!
我们再来一遍
We're going again!
原来不是所有父母都戴着"母亲护目镜"的
Turns out, not everyone had mom goggles.
再来一遍再来一遍
Do it again! Do it again!
爱丽卡完全不关心
The talent show was the furthest thing
才艺表演但老爷子希望改变这点
from Erica's mind, but Pops was hoping to change that.
孩子不介意我坐一会儿吧
Hey, kiddo, mind if I sit down?
我知道你要说什么
I know what you're gonna say,
我不会参加才艺表演的
and I'm not doing the talent show.
我不是为这个来的
That's not why I'm here.
我是来借杂♥志♥的
I came to... Borrow this magazine.
追猛♥男♥的八招
"Eight ways to catch a hunk."
这是什么垃圾
What is this garbage?
既然你自己说了
But since you brought it up--
老爷子算了吧
Pops, forget it!
参加才艺表演无异于社交自杀
Doing the talent show is social suicide.
我还不如走上舞台
I might as well go up on stage
拿着块写着"我有虱子"的牌子
with a sign that says, "I have lice."
这种表演可不行
That doesn't sound like much of an act.
你有一副好嗓子
Come on, you have an amazing voice,
你弹得一手好吉他
a-and you're terrific on the guitar.
你得弹奏吉他
You got to play the guitar.
没办法卖♥♥了
Can't. Sold it.
什么你很喜欢那把吉他
What?! You loved that guitar.
现在我很喜欢我的皮外套
And now I love my leather jacket.
这话让人恼火
That is very angering.
我很感谢你这么相信我
Look, I appreciate you believing in me
什么什么的但让我参加才艺表演
and all that crap, but there's no chance
绝对没机会
I'm gonna do the talent show.
有机会的
Oh, there's a chance,
因为我会让你参加的
'Cause I'm gonna get you to do it.
不可能的
Uh, not gonna happen!
走着瞧
We'll see!
浪费时间
Waste of time!
听不到啦
Can't hear you!
早上好小巴这身空手道睡衣真不错
Good morning, Bar. Nice karate pajamas.
这个叫空手道服
It's called a gi.
你得受点教育了多看些电影吧
You need to educate yourself, man. See more movies.
我知道你妈妈喜欢这套香港的咿咿呀呀
Listen, I know your mom loves this whole Hong Kong fooey act,
但是你有没有考虑过做点别的
but... Haven't you considered doing something else?
-我为什么要这样 -因为你是巴瑞·金伯格
- Why would I ever do that? - Because you're Barry Goldberg,
有许多不同才艺的人
a man of many different talents.
这倒是真的我擅长的事多了
It's true. I am great at a lot of stuff.
滑板饶舌霹雳舞
Skateboarding, rapping, breakdancing.
再来点
A little...
街舞
Pop-and-lock action.
我们为什么要说这个
Why are we even having this conversation?
我要表演空手道
I'm going kara-te.
委员会的裁决对我有利
The committee ruled in my favor.
巴瑞你不能表演这个我是过来人
Barry, you can't do this act. I speak from experience.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
我在你这么大的时候
When I was your age,
我是橄榄球队中最搞笑的人
I was the funniest guy on the football team.
搞笑你什么时候搞笑过
Funny? Since when are you funny?
我相当搞笑
I'm plenty funny, okay?
我是个开心果
I was hilarious.
我喜欢讲黄段子
I used to tell dirty jokes,
我用毛巾拍队友屁屁
I'd snap guys with a towel.
我给所有人取绰号♥
I gave everybody a nickname,
比如说小白脸和小个子
like, uh, pretty boy and shorty.
这些绰号♥太糟糕了
Those are terrible nicknames.
小个子长得并不矮
Shorty wasn't short.
事实上他非常高
As a matter of fact, he was a giant.