金色年代

The Goldbergs S01E05

Part 1 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:11 p.m.

八十年代的浪漫爱情喜剧啊
Ah, the romantic comedies of the '80s.
我所有追女生的技巧
I learned everything I knew about
全部来自于《爱情买♥♥卖♥♥》这样的经典电影
getting the girl from classics like "Can't buy me love,"
因为在我家上演的爱情戏
Because the romantic scenes that played out in my house
通常是这样的
usually went a little something like this.
给
Here.
这是什么
What's this?
生日卡
Birthday card.
我的生日已经过了两周了
My birthday was two weeks ago.
记得吗我们吃的墨西哥菜
Remember? We had Mexican food.
你非得十万火急地往家里赶
You had to race home in a mad panic.
正因如此我才忘了给你生日卡
Well, that photo finish is why I forgot to give you a card.
你知道你还忘了做什么吗
You know what else you forgot to do?
打扫车♥库♥
Clean the garage.
别把我想这么差好吗我没有忘
Give me some credit. I didn't forget.
我会去的
It's gonna get done.
我去穿长裤
I'll get my pants.
迟到的生日快乐
Happy belated birthday.
我的父母深爱对方
I had the kind of parents who loved each other,
但我从未见过他们接吻
but I literally never once saw them kiss,
所以我才是所谓的爱情白♥痴♥
which is why I was what you'd call romantically challenged.
她叫戴娜·考德威尔
Her name was Dana Caldwell.
她每天骑车经过我家
She biked past my house every day,
她太完美了
and she was perfect.
证据不足我不能定你的罪
I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here,
但我得说这样做太奇怪了
but I gotta say, this looks weird.
一点也不奇怪我只是把我喜欢的女生拍下来
It's not weird. I'm just filming a girl I like
稍后会看着录像带练习和她说话
to play the tape back later to practice talking to her.
-老天 -的确很奇怪
- Oh, boy. - It's weird.
我可以帮你的
You know, I can help you out.
老爷子我12岁了
Pops, I'm 12.
我得开始自己解决爱情问题了
I gotta start handling this lady stuff on my own.
她回来了
She's coming back.
蹲下蹲下
Get down! Get down!
我从我爱的女生身边爬开时
While I was crawling away from the girl I loved,
我爸想通过打扫车♥库♥ 令他爱的女生
my father was trying to get the girl he loved off his back
不再来烦她
by cleaning the garage.
低于十块钱的扔掉
All right, anything under $10--toss.
你们小时候做的那些烂艺术品全扔
All that crappy art from when you were kids--toss.
不会吧我的琴
No way! It's my old keyboard!
这个东西可棒了
This thing is awesome!
可棒了可棒了可棒了
Awesome, awesome, awesome.
你不是说被偷了吗
I thought you said someone stole it.
对那个盗贼她应该把这个扔掉的
Yeah, well, the robber--she was supposed to throw it away.
可棒了可棒了可棒了可棒了
A-awesome, a-awesome,a-awesome, a-awesome.
扔进垃圾桶
It's going in the garbage.
不这是我的我很喜欢
No. This is mine, and I love it, okay?
我的妈呀快看
Holy crap! Check this out.
我找到了一盒爸以前写给妈的情诗
I found a box of dad's old love poems to mom.
别碰别碰
Don't touch that! Don't touch that!
-拜托这不关你们的事 -准备好了吗
- Come on. It's none of your business. - Ready?
-泪水染湿了我的心枕 -别这样
- "Tears stain the pillows of my heart." - Come on. Come on.
-别这样 -你的香水味在我心中萦绕
- No, no, come on! - "your perfume lingers on my mind.
-回到我的身边吧我的爱 -别念了
- Return to me, my love." - Come on, come on!
-老天写得好烂 -别念了把盒子给我
- God, you're terrible. - Okay, stop it. Give me that box.
给我
Give--
我们在星空下合二为一
"Our bodies are one under the starry sky.
没有我只有我们
There is no me, only us...
我亲爱的阿妮塔
My sweet Anita"?
什么这上面说你们要结婚
What? It says here you were gonna have a wedding?
阿妮塔谁是阿妮塔
Anita? Who's Anita?
我明白了
Ohh. I see what's going on here.
你背着我们还有一个家
You have a secret family.
如果我还有一个家
If I had a secret family,
我为什么还要站在这里和你们说话
why would I be standing here talking to you people?
-把盒子给我 -给我
- Give me that box! - Here!
-够了 -拿到了
- Come on! - Got it!
好吧我把整件事告诉你们
All right! I'll tell you the story.
在你们妈妈之前我曾经和别的女人订过婚
Before your mother, I was engaged to another woman.
-你死定了 -死定了死定了
- You're so hosed. - Hosed, hosed.
我没有死定关掉
I am not hos-- turn that off!
我没有死定了
I am not hosed.
没人会死
Nobody's getting hosed.
你们妈妈知道订婚的事
Your mom knows about the engagement.
她知道这些情书吗
Oh, and she knows all about the love letters?
她当然知道
Of course she knows!
她知道
She knows.
别这样孩子们把盒子给我
Come on, kids, give me the box!
我真希望背着你们还有一个家
I wish I had a secret family!
我死定了
I'm so hosed.
一九八几年的10月4日
October 4th, 1980-something--
那天我爸的旧情书昭告天下了
The day my dad's old love letters went public.
贝弗你先听我说
Bevy, before you say anything,
我以为多年前阿妮塔把信寄回给我时
just know that I thought I threw this box out years ago
我就已经把盒子扔掉了
when Anita sent it back to me,
这些信完全没意义
and it--it means nothing.
我父亲跨过了底限
My father had crossed a line.
我做不到
I can't.
不好意思不好意思
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我以为我能板着脸但我做不到
I thought I could keep a straight face, but I can't.
你不生我的气吗
So you're not mad at me?
不我担心你你的腰还好吗
No, I'm worried. How are your loins?
停止燃烧了吗
Have they stopped burning?
你的心依然怦怦乱跳吗
Is your heart still a flutter?
是啊
Yeah.
-好可爱 -是啊
- Adorable. - Yeah.
不是吧
Oh, no, no, no.
你一点也不吃醋吗
So you're not even a little bit jealous?
拜托我赢了
Please. I won.
这只胖驼鹿是我的猎物
I bagged my moose.
你瞧她根本不在乎
You see? She doesn't give a crap.
恩爱的夫妻就是这样
That's what a strong marriage is--
互相对这种小事不在乎
Mutual not-giving-a-crap.
瞧我没死
See? Not hosed.
好了
Okay.
笑也笑够了是时候扔掉了
We've had a good laugh. Time to chuck 'em.
扔掉我都舍不得放下不看
Chuck 'em? I can't even put 'em down.
爸以前相当浪漫啊
I mean, dad used to be... Pretty romantic.
他对我也依然够浪漫
Oh, he's still plenty romantic with me.
恶心
Yuck.
爸怎么个浪漫法
And how is dad romantic?
过去两年他都忘了结婚纪念日
For the last two years, he forgot your anniversary.
我帮他说句话是我提醒得不够
In his defense, I didn't remind him enough.
但他总是给我写浪漫的内容
But he writes romantic stuff to me all the time.
看这是我的生日卡
Look. Here's my birthday card.
X.O.X.O. 默里
"X.O.X.O. Murray."
X代表亲吻
Well, the x's are for kisses,
O代表拥抱
and the o's for hugs.
默里
And "Murray"...
是送卡人
Is who it's from.
他写什么并不重要
Doesn't matter what he writes.
我们非常相爱
We are more in love than ever.
你都不想看看她长什么样子吗
Don't you at least wanna see what she looks like?
过去20年
I've gone 20 years
我都不需要知道她长什么样
without needing to know what she looks like.
现在也不需要
I'm not gonna start now.
再说了到哪里去找照片
Oh, plus where would you even get a picture,
就算有人想看照片
you know, if someone wanted to see a picture?
去哪里找呢我不知道
Where would you find it? I don't know.
他们可能在报上登了订婚公告
They'd probably have an engagement announcement in the paper.