金色年代

The Goldbergs S01E01

Part 2 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:10 p.m.

我希望你生日快乐
I hope you're having a happy birthday.
巴瑞还有最后一位访客
Barry had one last visitor,
我们的外公老爷子
my grandfather, pops,
80岁的超酷老人家
who was 80 years of pure awesome.
我听说某人满了16岁可以开新车了
I hear someone turned 16 and could use a new car.
我的妈呀送我的吗
Holy crap! For me?
我还没有这么爱你
I don't love you that much.
这个宝贝是我的旧车归你
This baby's mine. You get my old one.
-太棒了 -不行
- Yes! - No!
我满16岁时就没有车
I didn't get a car when I turned 16.
你需要车做什么
What do you need a car for?
就你这小脸蛋想叫哪家小子送你不行啊
With your looks, you can get a ride from any boy in town.
给你
Here you go.
这一时刻巴瑞等了一辈子
It was the moment Barry had waited for his whole life.
车钥匙意味着自♥由♥ 没人可以阻止他
Those keys meant freedom, and no man could stop him.
但我妈可以
But my mom could.
这不可能爸
Not gonna happen, Dad.
我们已经决定了巴瑞不能开车
We've decided Barry can't drive.
什么
What?!
那么巴瑞有车没驾照
So Barry has a car and no license,
我有驾照却没车这像话吗
and I have a license and no car. That makes no sense.
知道还有什么不像话吗
You know what else makes no sense?
你藏在衣橱里的桃子清爽酒
Those Peach wine coolers I found hiding in your closet.
对什么也逃不过我的法眼
Yeah, I'm everywhere.
这是史上最烂的生日
This is the Worst birthday ever.
唯一懂我的只有风味弗拉福[饶舌歌♥手]
The only one who understands me is flavor Flav.
这算哪门子跑步姿势
Who runs like that?
咱们要办车赛吗
Are we havin' a drag race?
这辆画了鸟的车是怎么回事
What's with the bird car?
我爸觉得自己是布特·雷诺茨[演员]
My father thinks he's Burt Reynolds.
世界上最性感的男人吗没错
The sexiest man alive? Yes, I do.
孩子放学后我来接你好吗
Hey, kiddo, pick you up after school?
我们去青年会做些水中有氧运动
Um, we're goin' to the "Y" to do some water aerobics.
对他的血液循环有帮助
It's good for his circulation.
游泳只是借口
Swimming was just our cover.
老爷子其实是带我去华夫饼屋
Pops really took me to the house of waffles
教育我人生的精妙之处
to teach me the finer things in life.
你不能一上去就直接捏来捏去
And you can't just go in and honk 'em.
上托很重要
It's all about the cuppage.
要温柔咪♥咪♥是非常敏感的
Be gentle. Those puppies are sensitive.
我只想把脸埋在里面
I just wanna bury my face in 'em.
我们都一样但你得有这个本事
We all do, but you gotta earn it.
说到这个
Speaking of,
你瞧上的是哪个华夫饼女孩
where are we on operation waffle girl?
她叫佐伊·麦肯托什
Her name was Zoe Mcintosh.
她真是条件无可挑剔的美人
She was the complete package.
漂亮比我年长
Beautiful, older,
她爸爸是我们家的足科医生
and her dad was our family podiatrist.
好了上周你告诉了她你的名字
Okay, last week, we told her your name.
看看她是否记住了
Let's see if it stuck.
小姐再加点好吗
Oh, miss, could you top me off?
不行老爷子太专横了别这样
No, no, pops. Too bossy. Pops, stop.
不能这样做我没准备好
We can't do this. I'm not ready.
咋样美女
Whassup, girl?
麻烦买♥♥单
The check, please.
没问题艾伦
You got it, Allen.
你听见了吗她刚刚叫我艾伦
Did you hear that? She just called me Allen.
你不叫这个名字
That's not your name.
我会改名字我就叫艾伦了
I'll change it. I'm Allen now.
老爷子你是个天才
Pops, you're a genius.
谢谢你绝地大♥师♥
Thank you, jedi master.
你这是加大我的工作量孩子
You're not making this easy, kid.
对不起
Sorry.
你就像是我的欧比王肯诺比
You're like my own personal Obi Wan Kenobi,
但你教的不是运用原力而是变得怪异
but instead of the force, you're teaching me how to get freaky.
-谁是欧屁啃糯米 -那是巴瑞吗
- Who's elbow cannoli? - Is that Barry?
巴瑞你在做什么
Barry, what are you doing?
吃隔夜的甜甜圈
Eating day-Old doughnuts.
我朋友特伦斯是值班经理
My friend Terrence, he's the manager.
-他把这个为我留在外面 -为什么
- He leaves 'em out back for me. - Why?
这叫做化悲愤为食量小蠢货
It's called eating your feelings, ass bag.
到我40岁老妈还会送我上校车
Mom's gonna walk me to the bus till I'm 40, all right?
放下垃圾甜甜圈
Put down the garbage cruller.
我会想办法让你拿到驾照
I'm gonna figure out a way to get you that license,
还有我的车来吧
and my car. Come on.
真的吗
Really?
我们坐在老爷子的新车里兜风感觉像皇帝
As we cruised in Pops' new ride, we felt like kings.
我妈说巴瑞不能开车一点关系也没有
It didn't matter that my mom said Barry couldn't drive.
我们的外公会解决这个问题
Our grandfather would fix that.
他那颗聪明的脑袋瓜儿里总是会想出办法
He was always cooking up a plan in that brilliant mind of his.
好了老爷子你说你有计划
All right, pops, you said you had a plan.
有什么想法
Whatcha thinkin'?
老爷子你还好吗
Pops, you okay?
好吧他的脑袋瓜儿没从前好使了
Okay, his mind wasn't what it used to be,
但胃口依然不错
but his appetite still was.
谁想来点上校♥鸡♥块
So who wants nuggets?
老爷子以鲁莽危害罪被逮捕
Pops was booked with reckless endangerment,
我们都被扔进了监狱
we were all thrown behind bars.
直到我们的老妈出现
That is, until our mom arrived.
你觉得自己很了不起吗
Are you proud of yourself,
把一个老人家和两个小男孩关起来
locking up an old man and two little boys?
老天爷可怜下把我们指挥得团团转的人吧
God help the poor soul who tried to push us around.
这是她的工作
That was her job.
记住这张脸
Memorize this face,
这张脸会在梦中让你不得安宁警官
because it is going to haunt your dreams, sir.
会在梦中让你不得安宁
It is gonna haunt your dreams.
你们还好吗
Are you guys okay?
我不好巴瑞在我们面前大便
No, I'm not okay. Barry took a dump in front of us.
我忍♥不住了
I had to go.
心理阴影很重
It was bad.
我跟你说了这不是我的错
I'm telling you, it wasn't my fault.
第二天早上老妈实施惩罚措施
The next morning, mom lowered the boom,
拿走了老爷子的车钥匙
and took pops' keys.
我不是你的孩子贝弗
I'm not one of your kids, Bev.
你不能让我听你的命令我才是发命令的人
You can't boss me around. I do the bossing.
爸我只是想帮你
Dad, I'm just trying to help you.
你的脑袋不像以前那样好使了
Your mind is not what it used to be.
像往常一样邻居出来看好戏
As always, the neighbors came out to watch.
你好吉娜
Oh, hello, Gina.
你干脆拍照算了这样可以欣赏得久一点
Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.
顺便说一下吉娜是我妈最好的朋友
For the record, Gina, that's my mom's best friend.
我可以走了吗我和雪莉·内格尔有约会
Can I go now? I've got a date with Shirley Nagle.
她有12个孙子
She's got 12 grandkids,
这就意味着她对献身没意见
so you know she puts out.
别废话了艾伯特好吗别说了
Cut the crap, Albert. Okay? Cut it!
人生就是这样
It's all life.
你失去钥匙巴瑞得到钥匙
You lose your keys, Barry gets some keys.
这是方向盘的循环
It's the circle of driving.
我最好回家消化下现在这种情况
Looks like I better get on home and take this all in.
-可以把钥匙给我吗 -不行
- Can I have the keys? - No.
我的遗嘱里没你的份儿
You're out of my will.
我的遗嘱里没你的份儿
You're out of my will.
没错走着瞧看谁先翘辫子
That's right. We'll see who croaks first.
等等
Wait, wait.
这是说我能开车了吗
Does this mean I can drive?
-是的 -不行
- Yes. - No!
亲爱的我之前说巴瑞没准备好你同意了
Hon, I said Barry was not ready, and you agreed.
容我说一句我当时根本没听
In my defense, I wasn't listening.
每一次老爸不同意老妈的意见
Whenever my dad disagreed with my mom,
五分钟之后就会出现这一幕
this would happen five minutes later.