无耻家庭

Shameless S01E09

Part 1 Jan. 9, 2020, 10:56 a.m.

我说你们错过了上周的超赞的派对啊
Oh, man, you guys missed a great party last week.
给你的新养父母问声好艾瑟儿
Say hello to your new foster family, Ethel.
你是五个妻子中的一个
You're one of five wives?
你嫁给了一个叫克莱德的老兄
Married to a dude named Clyde?
他已经六十五岁了
Who's 65 years old?
我儿子乔纳能来这吗
Would it be all right if my son Jonah came to visit?
你就笑吧
Keep laughing,
我会趁你睡觉时割开你的喉咙
and I will slit your throat while you sleep.
商店盗窃已经完全失控了
Shoplifting is out of hand.
米奇付钱了吗
Did Mickey pay for that?
你得勇敢地面对他
You have to stand up to him.
我对他老爸试过这招了
Tried that once with his father.
现在握着它像那么回事儿
Now hold it like you want to do something with it.
-米奇又打你了 -我能做什么呢
- Mickey? Again? - What was I supposed to do,
为了份即食汤打爆他的头吗
shoot him over a cup of soup?
在我怀孕之前
No touching the forbidden fruit
不准再食禁忌之果
until I'm knocked up.
我和别人上♥床♥了
Slept with someone.
不是凯希
Not Kash.
这算是来了就干干完就走是吗
Guess this was like a booty call, huh?
是啊
Yes.
史蒂夫收到一条坎迪丝发来的短♥信♥
Steve got a text from Candace.
他在跟别人约会吗
Is he dating someone else?
娘的坎迪丝是谁
Who the fuck is Candace?
我们只是同事就这么回事
We work together. That's all.
-我回来了 -老弟
- I'm home. - Little brother!
你好啊
Hey, you.
坎迪丝·利士曼
号♥码 1(874)555-1309
好吧不过你得答应我
Okay, but you got to promise.
好我答应你这事不告诉菲奥娜
Okay, I promise I won't tell Fiona.
快说这是谁的房♥子
Now, whose house is this?
我也不知道
I'm not sure.
那我们在这儿干屁啊
What the hell are we doing here?
看看史蒂夫是不是偷腥了
Trying to find out if Steve's cheating.
什么
What?
你说停在门口那辆车肯定是女人的车吧
Tell me, that's not a woman's car parked out front.
菲奥娜是大姑娘了
Fiona's a big girl.
菲奥娜照顾大家伙但没有人照顾菲奥娜
Fiona takes care of everyone, but no one takes care of Fiona.
是因为那个坎迪丝吗
Is this about Candace?
菲奥娜可是知道坎迪丝的
Because Fiona knows about Candace.
她什么也不会做自尊心太强
She wouldn't do anything, too proud.
所以我们必须做点什么
So we have to.
你真是个体贴人的好孩子小黛
You're a sweet kid, Debs.
你是不是故意点的"沙滩云雨"
Did you purposefully order a "Sex on the Beach"
好让我对那个同性恋酒保说这个词啊
just so I'd say it to the gay bartender?
也许吧也许我在期待你能真的
Maybe. Maybe I was hoping you'd actually
带我去某个地方然后在沙滩上云雨一番
take me away someplace so we could have sex on a beach.
上次都是好不容易才说服你跟我去旅店过夜的
I could barely get you overnight in a local hotel.
此一时彼一时嘛
Well, that was then, this is now.
我只是觉得最近没怎么见到你
I just feel like I haven't seen a lot of you lately.
你是说你想跟我多相处吗
You-- you mean that you'd like to see more of me?
没错我想我是这个意思
Yes, I guess that's what I'm saying.
通常一段恋情到这个阶段
Usually by this time in a relationship,
男生会开始只在深夜过来干一炮
the guy starts just showing up for late-night booty calls
或是想让我见他母亲
or wants me to meet his mother.
任何一种情况发生我都会找理由开溜
Either way, I start looking for reasons to walk.
我妈在密歇根呢你不用担心
Well, my mom is in Michigan, so you don't have to worry.
我想这是你第一次提到你的家人
I think that's the first time you've ever mentioned your family.
真的吗
Really?
没什么好说的啊
Not much to say.
我是说他们住在密歇根
I mean... they live in Michigan.
-整个密歇根州吗 -不是在底特律附近
- The whole state? - No, near Detroit.
我爸过去在通用公♥司♥上班
Dad used to work for GM,
所以我尽量把他需要的东西寄给他
so I try to send back what I can to help.
家族事业他造车你偷车
Family business... he builds 'em, you steal 'em.
好了来跳舞吧
Come on, let's dance.
来吧
Come on.
利亚姆终于睡着了
Liam is officially asleep.
-真快啊 -没错
- That was fast. - Yeah, well,
读了三页小黛的《饭·祷·爱》
three pages from Deb's Eat, Pray, Love
他就睡着了
and he's out.
如果詹姆斯·弗朗科没参演这部电影
And if James Franco wasn't in the movie,
我也会打瞌睡的
I would've nodded off, too.
有钱没能借我点不
Have you got any cash you can float me?
弗洛伦斯与机器乐队在芝加哥剧院有演出
Florence & the Machine are playing down at the Chicago Theater.
弗洛伦斯与机器乐队：英国新晋乐队推荐大家也听听
我很想在凯伦生日的时候带她去
I really want to take Karen for her birthday.
好贵的礼物
Pricey gift.
你俩关系认真起来了吗
You think it's getting serious?
才不是呢她是我最好的朋友
Fuck off. She's my best friend.
好不好你知道的
Okay? You know I'd never spend
我从不在女生身上这么砸钱
that kind of cash on a girl, anyway.
好吧我这有十块钱给你吧
All right, well, I got a Hamilton, and it's yours.
谢了兄弟
Thanks, man.
一二三
One, two, three.
上帝保佑乔纳我亲爱的宝贝
God bless Jonah, my sweet baby boy.
上帝保佑我的丈夫克莱德
And God bless my husband Clyde.
愿那些关心他的人能提醒他
May those who are caring for him
服用控制血压的补剂
remind him to take his blood pressure supplement
还有葡萄糖胺/软骨素补剂
and his Glucosamine/Chondroitin supplement...
这样他就能弯腰抱起我们的孩子
so that he can bend down to pick up our child.
愿上帝保佑其他妻妾
And God bless the other wives,
也许她们此时正双膝跪地
who are probably on their knees right now
-祈祷你能佑护我 -和她的孩子分开
- asking you to bless me... - Separated from her kid?
肯定很难熬
That's got to suck.
希望明天的探访能让她高兴一点
Hopefully, the visit with him tomorrow will cheer her up.
我有点小兴奋呢
I'm kind of excited about it.
一家人团聚两个孩子
Having a full house... two kids.
别太兴奋了这只是暂时的
Don't get too excited. It's only temporary.
-暂时的凯文 -是是是
- Temporary, Kevin. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
你要把那个东西塞进我的菊花吗
Are you gonna put those in my ass?
-太小没感觉唉 -这是耳塞宝贝
- 'Cause I'm not even gonna feel it. - They're earplugs, babe.
给她用的
And they're for her.
那还好不然到时候想找到这玩意
Oh, good, 'cause that would've sucked,
可麻烦死了
trying to fish those out.
快快醒来成龙大哥
Wakey, wakey, Jackie Chan.
你♥他♥妈♥的是谁
Who the fuck are you?
弗兰克
I'm Frank.
我们有没有
Did we...?
好了好了
Aw, now... now...
打起精神来
Chins up.
滚开
Fuck off.
你怎么知道是我
How'd you know it was me?
我和承诺小组讨论过了
I was talking to my Promise makers group, and...
我想让你知道我能理解
I want you to know that I understand
你所有的不良行为都是父之过
that so much of your bad behavior is my responsibility.
如果你让一只狗独自待在屋里超过八小时
If you leave a dog in the house alone for more than eight hours,
你就不能责怪它在地毯上撒尿对吧
you can't get mad at him for peeing the rug, right?
我在地下室的一本影集里找到了这个
I found this... in an album in the basement.
我不知道
I don't know...
或许我们可以
maybe we can try to...
捕捉更多像这样在一起的瞬间
capture more moments like these together.
为什么我感觉
Why is it that I feel like
你在拼了命的从我身边跑开啊
you can't get away from me fast enough?
因为你是个妄想狂
Because you're paranoid!
你要去上的
Hey, whatever happened to that computer class
那个计算机课怎么样了
you were gonna take?
被取消了
They cancelled it.
我猜是因为学员不够
Not enough people, I guess.
利亚姆就快起来了
Liam's gonna be up in a second.
我得去喂他吃东西给他穿衣服