无耻家庭

Shameless S01E05

Part 5 Jan. 9, 2020, 10:55 a.m.

Take my own goddamn life.
你知道
You know...
什么事情让我感到最遗憾吗凯文
you know what the real shame of it is, Kev?
最遗憾的就是
The real shame is there are so
我还有很多事情想要去干
many things I still want to do.
是吗比如说
Oh, yeah? Like what?
老天爷我不知道
Jesus Christ! I don't know.
我不知道
I don't know!
多可悲啊
How sad is that?
一个根本就不知道自己到底想做什么的人
A man who doesn't even know what he wants to do.
-怎么回事 -嘿兄弟
- Hey, what's going on? - Yeah, buddy!
这是什么
What's this?
今晚告别单身派对时你要戴上这个
You gotta wear it tonight for the bachelor party.
每个人都会戴一个
Everyone's gonna be wearing one.
安迪少他妈扯蛋了我才不要...
Andy, get the fuck out of here. I'm not gonna...
别耍性子哥们你♥他♥妈♥戴上就好了
Don't be a dick, dude! Fuckin' wear it!
告别单身派对
Bachelor party?
是啊如果你想去你也可以去
Yeah, if you wanna go, you can come.
有什么计划没
What's the plan?
我和朋友们打算大醉一场
Me and my friends are gonna get wasted
干些傻♥逼♥的事情
and do some stupid shit.
还有我们要给你个这玩意儿
But we gotta get you one of these.
棒极了
Awesome.
蒙上眼睛是为了给我一个惊喜
Is the blindfold for the element of surprise
还是你不想让我知道你住哪
or so I don't know where you live?
都有一点
A little of both.
这就是你的家了
This is your house.
你和琳达一起住在这
Where you live with Linda...
还有小孩
and the kids.
现在是我们的家
And now it's our house.
怎么了
What's wrong?
抱歉只是这儿太诡异了
Sorry. It's just, it's too weird.
什么诡异
What is?
你这些乌七八糟的东西
All of your shit.
我简直要疯掉了
It's, it's freaking me out!
这里闻起来像羊圈一样
It smells like goats in here, man.
伊恩等等
Ian, wait!
但是她为什么要这样做小菲
But why would she do it in the first place, Fi?
因为她能
Because she could!
她就像那些个奇怪的中国杂技演员一样
She was like one of those weird Chinese acrobats.
不那些女孩这么做的时候
Oh! No, those girls are
看上去都很小只很可爱
all tiny and cute when they do it!
而她简直像亲吻自己屁屁的长筒袜皮皮
She was like Pippi Longstocking kissing her own ass!
老天
Jesus!
爸你这到底是怎么回事啊
Dad, what the hell happened to you?
我系的绳子太长了
Cord was too long.
我有三个蛋蛋我会死的
I got three nuts. Gonna die.
那脏兮兮的屁屁毛是怎么回事
What's that nasty-ass hair about?
操
Fuck!
马蒂
Marty?!
惊喜哦
Surprise!
我是你假婚礼上的伴娘
I'm the maid of honor at your fake wedding
而我甚至都不知道你有个兄弟
and I didn't even know you had a brother.
这是有原因的
There's a reason for that.
-他是刚从牢里逃出来吗 -昨晚的事
- He busted out of prison? - Last night.
他是怎么进去的
What was he in for?
暴♥力♥伤人盗窃和纵火
Aggravated assault, larceny and arson.
纵火吗你们在说谁啊
Arson? Who we talkin' about?
小维的兄弟
V's brother.
是表兄弟那种
Oh, is that like a sibling-brother,
还是个普通的黑哥们啊
or just a black guy brother?
你还记得在迷你购物中心
You remember the fire
"曲线美"店里发生的那场火灾吗
at the Curves in the mini mall?
就是他干的
That was him.
他喜欢点火而且他讨厌女人
He loves setting fire to things and he hates women.
对他来说那就是场完美风暴
It was the perfect storm.
他有病
He's nuts.
我是认真的他神经病
No, I'm serious. He's nuts.
他向我冲过来
He came at me.
我不得不奋力抵抗而且有一次
I had to fight my ass off. Then, one time,
我正在喝啤酒他突然向我冲过来
I'm having a brew, he came up to me,
对我大叫"日" "操" "干"
he's all, "Ass cunt fuck!" on me.
-他是智障吗 -真希望如此啊
- Is he retarded? - I wish.
他有抽动秽语综合症
Tourette's coupled with
还有躁郁症和酗酒
bipolar disorder and a drinking problem.
他简直是个心理医生的春梦
He's a shrink's wet dream.
我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?
把他一脚踹回大牢里
Kick his ass back to prison
如果有什么人会把事情搞得一团糟
'cause if there's one person you can always count on
那一定是马蒂
to really fuck things up, it's Marty.
蹦极是吧
Bungee jumping, eh?
从艾尔站台上蹦的
From the El tracks.
有好消息也有坏消息
Good news/bad,
你的活检结果呈阴性
your biopsy results came back negative.
肿瘤为良性的
Tumor was benign,
所以你不会因为睾丸癌死翘翘
so you're not gonna die of testicular cancer.
感谢上帝
Oh! Oh, thank God! Oh!
那我就可以保住小三儿了吗
Oh! So, I can keep it?
是的但你头上撞的那下
Yeah. The swelling on the brain
可能使你的大脑发生肿胀
you've probably got going on
最后要了你的小命
in there might end up doin' you in.
什么
What?!
我在跟你开玩笑
I'm fuckin' with you.
头上那个包看起来只是表面伤
The bump looks pretty superficial,
但你要是呕吐次数超过两次
but if you vomit more than twice,
有癫痫发作的迹象或者出现记忆力衰退
have any seizures or experience memory loss,
快叫救护车
call 911.
那如果我癫痫发作时出现呕吐
Well, what if I vomit while I'm having a seizure
之后又完全忘了这件事怎么办
and have no memory of it?
积水成渊我的朋友
Tree in the forest, my friend.
什么
What?
你不能呆在这儿马蒂
You know you can't stay, Marty.
你得回到监狱去
You gotta go back to prison.
听着罗罗那里的安保很垃圾
Look, Ron, it's bullshit security.
他们相当于把钥匙直接给你了
They practically give you your own key.
你这样不是耽误自己的假释吗
Aren't you risking your parole?
你还剩多少个月
How long did you have left?
十八王八蛋个月
18-- cocksucker!-- months!
老天马蒂这事儿刻不容缓
Jesus, Marty, that's no time at all.
今天是你的婚礼罗罗
It's your wedding day, Ron.
你最好还是回去自首
Why don't you go back and turn yourself in?
告诉他们你错了就说因为抽动秽语综合症
Tell 'em it was a mistake. Blame it on the Tourette's.
告诉他们不会再有第二次了
Tell them that it won't happen again.
-你知道这是为你好 -你个玻璃
- You know it's for the best. - Faggot!
我去收拾一下在他们发现你跑了之前
I'm gonna go get cleaned up, and we'll have you back
把你送回去
before they even know you left.
听着罗罗我是不会回去的
Look, I'm not going back, Ron!
今天是你的大喜之日我不能错过
It's your wedding day and I'm not gonna miss your--
臭狗屎你的大喜之日
shit-pisser-- wedding day!
这是我今天下午要穿的衣服
This is the dress that I will wear this afternoon.
它能像这栋房♥子一样给予我保护
And it will protect me like this house protects me.
就是这件衣服
This is the dress.
就是今天了
And today is the day.
今天风和日丽
And the day is good.
你很漂亮
You look nice.
你打算去哪里
Where are you pretending to go?
你今天要去参加婚礼
I'm going to a wedding today.
我这次一定会走出家门
I am really gonna do it this time.
而且今天将是完美的一天
And it's supposed to be a beautiful day today.
美妙安全阳光明媚
Beautiful and safe and sunny.
太阳就是个炙热燃烧的大火球