公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S03E16

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.

Look, you exercise a lot. You're in great shape.
你这个年龄的男性发生这种小事情很正常
Little things like this happen with men of your age.
我的年龄
Men of my age?
你觉得我多老了啊
How old do you think I am?
42岁
Forty-two.
我44岁了我计划活到150岁
I am 44, and I plan to live to be 150.
好吧
Okay.
所以怎么治疗
So. What's the cure?
搞个时间机器回到20岁
Get a time machine. Go back to being 20.
Harris医生你真的是我遇见过最刻薄的人了
Dr. Harris, you are literally the meanest person I have ever met.
好的那个马葬礼的所有许可都办下来了
Okay, all the permits cleared for the horse funeral.
你什么语气 - 什么
What was that tone? - What?
哦没事
Oh, nothing.
我对此很伤心
I'm very sad about this.
问题谁是个天才
Question! Who's a genius?
答案 Tom Haverford
Answer, Tom Haverford.
原因 Jean-Ralphio刚刚创办了一家独家高端的制♥作♥公♥司♥
Reason, Jean-Ralphio just started an exclusive, high-end production company,
然后他乐意安排Li'l Sebastian的哀悼仪式
and he's willing to put on Li'l Sebastian's memorial service
无偿服务只为了"公"
pro bono, just for the pub.
"公"是公众宣传的简称
Pub is an abbreviation for publicity.
Jean-Ralphio就是个小丑
Jean-Ralphio is a clown.
这是Li'l Sebastian的哀悼仪式
This is the memorial for Li'l Sebastian,
不是脱衣舞俱乐部的双券之夜
not double-coupon night at a strip club.
首先双券之夜真的非常有价值
First off, double-coupon night is an incredible value.
第二这个家伙刚刚开始一项事业
Secondly, this guy just started a business.
他是我朋友这会帮他大忙的
He's my friend. It would really help him out.
此外我还会监管一切情况保证一切都会很好
Plus, I'm gonna oversee everything and make sure it goes great.
好的 Tom 我们信任你
Okay, Tom, we trust you.
让我们骄傲吧
Make us proud.
让他骄傲
Make him proud.
你们为啥不把那个PS掉啊
Why don't you just Photoshop that out?
嗨 Ann Perkins - 嗨
Hi, Ann Perkins. - Hi.
你还好吗 - 我快死了
How are you? - I'm dying.
什么
What?
肌腱炎 - 哦
Tendonitis. - Oh.
不至于用"我快死了"这种说法吧
I don't know if you should lead with "I'm dying."
你说得对你说得对所以
You're right, you're right. So.
你怎么了
What's up with you?
我在帮Leslie策划Li'l Sebastian的哀悼仪式
I'm just helping Leslie plan Li'l Sebastian's memorial service.
Li'l Sebastian去世了吗这也太糟了
Li'l Sebastian died? That's terrible.
是的但他很老了他也有一大堆疾病啊
Yeah, well, he was old, and he had a lot of ailments.
比如肌腱炎吗
Like tendonitis?
我不知道
I don't know.
我面前没有他的病历
I don't have his chart in front of me.
你能找到吗
Could you get it?
什么不是...没有病历啊
What? No... There's no chart.
哦我的天
Oh, my God.
死亡不可避免
Death is inescapable.
再见了 Ann Perkins
Goodbye, Ann Perkins.
好的我几分钟后要去你办公室见他了看起来如何
Okay, so I'm meeting him in your office in a few minutes. How do I look?
你准备走什么路线
What are you going for?
老练中带一点点性感
Sophisticated with a hint of slutty.
正中红心
Bulls-eye.
见到你为一个男的开心挺好的
So nice to see you so happy about a guy.
谢谢我不知道了我看到我现在的生活
Thanks. I don't know. When I look at my life right now,
觉得几乎已经完美了
it feels almost perfect.
我是说我们只能偷偷摸摸
I mean, we have to sneak around,
但奇怪的是没人知道其实挺好玩的
but weirdly, it's kind of fun that nobody knows.
我能明白
I could see that.
说够我的事了 Ann怎么样
Enough about me. How's Ann?
我现在挺开心的一般来说
I'm pretty happy right now, generally.
虽然我今天确实见到Chris了他总是让我猝不及防
Although I did see Chris today. He always just throws me off.
我不想聊Chris 每次我听到他的名字
I don't want to talk about Chris. Every time I hear his name,
我就想到他会发现我和Ben的事情
I think about the fact that he's gonna find out about me and Ben,
然后会开除我俩
and he's gonna fire both of us.
还有他伤你有多深
And about how much he hurt you.
是啊就是这样 - 是的
Yeah, there you go. - Yeah.
你好啊 Leslie
Hello, Leslie.
你和Ben睡了有多久了
How long have you been sleeping with Ben?
什么
What?
你和Ben睡了有多久了
How long have you been sleeping with Ben?
这也太恶心太错误了
That's disgusting and wrong.
我甚至没...为啥你...我...
I don't even get... Why would... I...
我没和任何人在任何地方做过爱
I've never had sex with anyone anywhere.
这不是你的...
It's none of your...
你有种胆大包...
You have the nerve, the audacity...
Ben是我的老板严格来讲
Ben is my boss, technically.
而且他很烂长相来说
And he is terrible, facewise.
然后怎么...我怎么知道实际上
And how... How do I know, frankly,
是不是你跟他睡过了呢
that you're not sleeping with him?
没准你是没准你是想让我猝不及防
Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off.
哼将了个军
Hmm. Check and mate.
这实在太过分了我要找谁举报
This is an outrage! Who do I call?
嘿嘿 - 嘿嘿
Hey, hey. - Hey, hey.
嘿 Ron 听着你就是我要找的人
Hey, Ron. Listen, you're just who I was looking for.
你...你是不是忘了...
Are you... Did you forget the...
你...我能要那个吗
Did you... Can I get that thing?
我们就...
Can we just...
你带来了吗
Did you bring it?
这谁也骗不了了
This isn't convincing.
你怎么发现的
How did you find out?
我们共事有一阵子了
We've worked together for a while now.
我倾向于觉得我挺了解你了
I'd like to think I know you pretty well.
此外 Ben的屁♥股♥昨晚打给我了
Plus, Ben butt-dialed me last night.
好呢好呢这是埃莉诺·罗斯福亲吻的方式
Okay, okay. And this is how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss.
哇埃莉诺喜欢舌头呢
Whoa. Eleanor likes the tongue.
国会前众议院议长南希·佩洛西
嘿再给我看看Pelosi的
Hey, show me Pelosi again.
好躺下
Okay, lay down.
联邦法♥院♥第二任大♥法♥官
拜托告诉我你在Ruth Bader Ginsberg之前挂掉了
Please tell me you hung up before Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
不幸的是我没有
Unfortunately not.
这是个迟早会爆出来的丑闻
This is a scandal waiting to happen.
如果你被抓很明显你会的
If you get caught, which you clearly will,
Chris会开了你
Chris will fire you.
而我不会有办法阻止他
And I won't be able to stop him.
Ron 我们很小心的
Ron, we're being very careful.
哦里根总统我的上衣纽扣弹开了
Oh, President Reagan, my blazer popped open.
哎呀撒切尔夫人让我来帮帮你吧
Well, Maggie Thatcher, let me help you with that.
这次峰会之路会十分颠簸的
It's gonna be a bumpy ride to this summit meeting.
我们的国家有非常... - 够了
Our countries have had a very... - Okay.
是的 - ...特殊的关系...
Yes. - ... special relationship...
哦不
Oh, no!
你说明你的观点了
You've proven your point.
在我心里我伤心你只能死啦
In my heart, I'm sad you had to die.
小小马呀张开翅膀学着飞吧
Li'l horse, spread your wings and learn to fly.
马不会飞啊
Horses don't fly.
所以我才跟他说
That's why I'm telling him,
"学着飞"
"learn to fly."
来嘛帮帮我我这赌注很大的
Come on, help me. There's a lot riding on this.
这是Li'l Sebastian去小马天堂时会听的东西啊
This is what Li'l Sebastian's gonna listen to in horsey heaven.
好吧我来听听你现在为止最喜欢的一段
Okay, let me hear your favorite one so far.
*你是个冠军啊小马*
You're a champion little horse
*而你死了*
And you're dead
*你是死亡的冠军*
You're the champion of death
*你是死亡的冠军*
You're the champion of death
要不写一段不要用"死"太多的
Maybe try to do one without the word "dead" so much.
或者"死亡" 或者"你死了"
Or "death" or "you're dead."
你看你已经在帮我了
See? You're helping me already.
所以现在知道的人只有我妈 Ann和Ron
So the only people that know are my mom, Ann, and Ron.
他们什么都不会说的
And they're not gonna say anything.
对就别在上班时间鬼混了