公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S03E07
Part 2
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.
真好玩啊 - 开个房♥吧你俩
That's funny. - Get a room.
好的 伙计们 注意了
Okay, so guys, focus up.
Joan Callamezzo带了个摄制组来
Joan Callamezzo is coming by with a camera crew
在明天丰收节开幕之前拍最后的独家专访
for an exclusive, last minute walk-through of the Harvest Festival before we open tomorrow.
所以 一切都必须是完美的
So, everything needs to be perfect.
Joan总是在找丑闻
Joan is always looking for a scandal.
她就像是个鹰眼的老虎
She's like an eagle-eyed tiger.
鹰眼之虎 新乐队名字 我占了
Eagle-Eyed Tiger. New band name. I call it.
所以 所有人 聚集起来 我们来拉个手
So, everybody, gather around. Let's grab hands.
我不拉手 - 好吧
I don't hold hands. - Okay.
你们都是很好的 很令人惊讶的人
You're all amazing, wonderful people.
我真心希望你们今天能玩得开心
And I really want you to have fun today
不要考虑如果一件事出错
and not focus on the fact that if one thing goes wrong,
我们都会失业的事实 - 这可不鼓舞人心
we're all going to lose our jobs. - That's not inspiring.
好的 我们都加把劲吧 - 好的 是的
Okay. Let's go get them everybody. - Okay. Yes.
有任何担心的 向Ron提出来 - 是的
Any concerns, address them to Ron. - Yes.
做Leslie老板的优势是她自己把事情都做完了
The advantage of being Leslie's boss is that she does everything herself
所以从来不会有问题
and there are never any problems.
这也意味着下一周
Which means for the next week,
我可以坐在草坪椅上读这本关于老旧船只的书
I can sit in a lawn chair and read this book about old boats.
抱歉 我得回去工作了
Excuse me, I have to get back to work.
嘿 你和那个完美假人到底发生了什么啊
Hey, whatever happened to you and the Bionic Man?
Chris吗 他和我分手了
Chris? He broke up with me,
但他做得太温柔了我甚至都没意识到
but he did it so nicely that I didn't even realize he did it.
我对很多男人都这么做过
I've done that to multiple men.
你情况如何呢 你还好吗
How are you doing? Are you doing okay?
太感谢你问这个了
Thank you so much for asking.
很艰难 是的 两天前
It's been tough. Yeah. Two days ago,
我在一家披萨自助店里哭 他们请我出去
I was sobbing at a pizza buffet, and they asked me to leave.
我看了一堆领养狗狗的网站
I've been looking at some dog adoption websites.
从Anthropologie买♥♥了$700的蜡烛
Bought $700 worth of candles from Anthropologie.
我把头发做成这样了 你知道
I did this to my hair. You know,
基本的谷底发疯操作
your basic bottoming out kind of stuff.
是哦 通常 人们告诉你要聊你的问题
Yeah. Normally, people tell you to talk about your problems.
我的建议是你还是憋着吧
I'm going to recommend you bottle that noise up.
我的邮差也是这么说的
That's what my mailman said.
吃 吃...
Muah-muah...
吃葡萄 吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮
Murder. Murder the most melons.
"谋杀 谋杀最多的西瓜"
八百标兵奔北坡 北坡炮兵并排跑
Shaquille showered. Shame on Shakira's sheets.
"沙奎尔奥尼尔洗了澡 夏奇拉的床上充满了耻辱"
你好 Joan - 你好啊 Leslie
Hello, Joan. - Hello, Leslie.
看起来这个节日令人印象深刻呢
Looks like a very impressive festival.
但我们走着瞧
But we'll see.
走着瞧 - 你记得Ben吧
We'll see. - You remember Ben.
嗨 - 很高兴再次见到你
Hi. - It's nice to see you again.
我们开始吧 - 好的
Let's get started. - Okay.
丰收节活动地点遍布整个镇
Now, the festival is spread throughout the town,
但核心还是嘉年华
but the centerpiece is the carnival.
这边是印第安纳州最大的玉米迷宫
And over here is Indiana's largest corn maze.
哇 这是Pawnee玉米还是Eagleton玉米啊
Wow. Is that Pawnee corn or Eagleton corn?
Pawnee玉米 是有机的
Pawnee corn. And it's organic.
这边是我们美丽的摩天轮
Over here, we have our beautiful Ferris wheel.
美丽 但很致命
Beautiful, but deadly.
这个巨大的死亡之轮上一次检查是什么时候
When was the last time this giant wheel of death was inspected?
实际上 这周已经两次了
Actually, twice in the last week,
所有东西都是百分百符合规定的
and everything is 100% up to code.
这些游乐场人员有多少的非法移♥民♥
How many of these carnies are illegals?
没有 都是美国公民
None. They're all U.S. citizens.
这边这个摊位 印第安纳篮球传奇Larry Bird
Over in this booth, Indiana basketball legend Larry Bird's
84岁的姨妈Tilda会在周四前来做两小时的签售
84-year-old Aunt Tilda will be signing autographs for two hours on Thursday.
你们请到了Tilda吗 - 是的
You got Tilda? - Yeah.
哦 - 我们请到Tilda了
Oh! - We got Tilda.
但真正的意外亮点在那儿
But the real coup is over there.
Li'l Sebastian
Li'l Sebastian.
你♥他♥妈♥在逗我吗
Are you fucking kidding me?
你们请到了Li'l Sebastian
You got Li'l Sebastian?
自己看吧
See for yourself.
哇 他也太可爱了
Wow. He is so adorable.
谢谢 Joan Li'l Sebastian也不差啊
Thank you, Joan. And Li'l Sebastian isn't bad, either!
Tom - 你好吗
Tom! - How are you?
很好 - 很高兴见到你 等等
Good. - Good to see you. Hold on a second.
什么 - 你隆胸了吗
What? - Did you get your breasts done?
你看起来太美了
You look amazing.
是的 感谢注意
Yes, thanks for noticing.
Joan 听我说 这个丰收节
Joan, listen to me. This Harvest Festival,
会让你叹为观止的
it's going to knock your socks off.
等你叹完了 我会在那把你的气全都打回去的
And when it does, I'm going to be there to give you a foot massage.
让你圆♥满♥
To completion.
好吧
Okay.
我的上帝啊
Good Lord.
我发誓 简直就像他们不想让你赢
I swear. It's almost like they don't want you to win.
那你要好好练习了 你得给我赢一只泰迪熊
Well, you better practice. You've got to win me a teddy bear.
我要给你赢一百万只泰迪熊
I'm going to win you a million teddy bears.
那 我要十亿只泰迪熊
Well, I want a billion teddy bears.
嗯 那就有点不切实际了
Well, that's a little unrealistic.
这个游戏还是很困难的
This is a hard game.
两百万只
Two million.
成交 - 好的
Deal. - Alright.
嘿 我爱你
Hey, I love you.
哥们 真的假的啊 那可真带劲儿啊
Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce.
你可真是个好孩子啊
You're such a good boy.
Jerry 别来烦Li'l Sebastian了
Jerry, stop bothering Li'l Sebastian.
Leslie说我该照看他一会儿
Leslie said I should watch him for a little bit.
完美 我去给他找个尾巴发圈
Perfect. I've got to go get him a tail scrunchie.
嗨 Li'l Sebastian 怎么样啊你
Hi, Li'l Sebastian, how's it going?
挺好的啊 就是吃点草 然后呆着呗
Pretty good. Just eating some hay, hanging out.
你叫什么名字啊
What's your name?
我叫Tom
My name's Tom.
你穿得真上档次啊
You're really well-dressed.
我喜欢你把T恤穿在礼服衬衫外面
I like how you got your T-shirt over your dress shirt.
你看起来比这里的其他人酷多了
You look way cooler than everybody else here.
Li'l Sebastian 别啊 你说得我都脸红了
Li'l Sebastian, come on, you're making me blush.
大部分人见到Li'l Sebastian时
Most people look at Li'l Sebastian
看见的都是一只著名迷你马
and they see a famous mini-horse.
而我看见的是一个给我的酒吧 蛇洞酒吧 打广♥告♥的机会
I see an advertising opportunity for my club, the Snakehole Lounge.
哇 这可是个大得让人震惊的迷你马勃起啊
Wow. That is a shockingly huge mini-horse erection.
我不觉得这句话不专业 但我想说
I don't think I'm being unprofessional when I say that
我真的希望有点狗血的八卦
I really was hoping for more tawdry scandals.
嗯... - 这边的这位朋友Ben呢
Well... - What about your friend Ben here?
我们都知道他的历史 一个失败 跟我们说说那次失败
We all know his story. One of failure, remind us of that failure.
嗯 你知道 当我18岁当市长时
Well, you know, when I was an 18-year-old mayor,
我试着建一座大型冬季体育场 名叫"冰城"
I tried to build a winter sports complex called Ice Town,
结果让城市破了产
and it bankrupted the city.
哎呀
Yikes.
我也是高中棒球队的游击手
I was also shortstop of my J.V. baseball team.
但是就没见人问过啊
No one ever brings that up.
而现在 你掺和进这件事了
And now, you're involved with this.
我好像闻到了又一场灾难呢 希望是
Do I smell another disaster, hopefully?
听着 Joan 这个丰收节
Look, Joan, this festival,
多亏Leslie Knope孜孜不倦的努力
thanks to the tireless efforts of Leslie Knope,
只会给人们带来幸福的
is going to bring people nothing but happiness.
即使我也没办法搞砸这个
Not even I could screw that up.
我是个记者 不是你的心理咨♥询♥师
I'm a reporter, not your therapist.
所以 任何时候有人给他拍照 蛇洞的logo就在里面
So, anytime someone takes a picture of him, the Snakehole's logo is in it.
我是个天才吧
Am I a genius or what?
嘿 Tom Li'l Sebastian去哪了
Hey, Tom. Where's Li'l Sebastian?
呃...
Uh...
有人忘了关门让他跑出去了 Jerry
Somebody left the gate open and he got out, Jerry.
什么 你在说什么啊
What? What are you talking about?
难以置信
Unbelievable.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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