公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S03E04
Part 3
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.
Ron Swanson 这是场干预会
Ron Swanson, this is an intervention.
你在过去24小时里吸着快乐汁 磕着Tammy毒
You have been spending the last 24 hours sipping on joy juice and tripping on Tammy.
那么 这个房♥间里的人就是你的美♥沙♥酮♥
Well, the people in this room are your methadone.
我们是来让你戒毒的
And we're here to get you clean.
恭喜了
Congratulations!
神圣的婚姻 这就是今天的男主角
Holy matrimony, there's the man of the hour.
Jerry 这是什么
Jerry, what is this?
那是我根据礼物登记买♥♥的一套酒杯
That is the set of tumblers that I got from the registry.
这是场干预会
This is an intervention.
我以为你电♥话♥里说的是招待会
I thought you said on the phone it was a reception.
好吧 好的 我们开始
Okay. All right, let's begin.
我想对房♥间里这个看起来很傻 穿着脏和服 梳着玉米辫的小丑说
I would like to address the goofy-looking, dirty-kimono-wearing, corn-rowed clown in the room.
如果你见到Ron Swanson 能给他带个信吗
If you see Ron Swanson, can you give him this message?
你曾经是个真男人
You used to be a man.
你得重新振作
You need to get your house in order.
听着 我对你的情谊像是兄弟
Look, I love you like a brother,
但现在 我讨厌你 就像讨厌我真的兄弟 LeVondrious一样
but right now, I hate you like my actual brother, LeVondrious,
可讨厌他了
who I hate.
好的 Tom
Okay, Tom.
Ron 你看起来很棒
Ron, you look great.
你的皮肤在发亮 我从没见你如此开心
Your skin is glowing. I've never seen you so happy.
够了 坐下
Okay, sit down.
Andy
Andy.
Ron 我没太理解现在发生的是什么
Ron, I do not really understand what is going on right now.
但无论如何
But no matter what,
你必须继续下去
you must keep going.
不
No.
你必须停下
You must stop.
我爱你 哥们
I love you, buddy.
追随你的梦想
Follow your dreams.
说得很好
Powerful stuff.
April 你在这干什么
April? What are you doing here?
我为你男朋友工作了 你在这干什么
I work for your boyfriend. What are you doing here?
我来看看为什么Chris午饭放了我鸽子
I came to see why Chris stood me up for lunch,
但我觉得我现在知道了
but I think I just figured it out.
因为他不喜欢你 - 不 我很确定不是这样
Because he doesn't like you. - No, I'm pretty sure that's not it.
实际上是因为我故意没打给你
Actually it's because I didn't call you deliberately.
如果你问我的话 是可开除的过错
Which, if you ask me, is a fire-able offense.
所以我会这么告诉他
So I would tell him that.
还有 他在性方面对你没兴趣
Also, he's not into you sexually.
Ann Perkins April Ludgate 真的 是我在地球上最喜欢的两个人
Ann Perkins. April Ludgate. Literally two of my favorite people on earth.
抱歉我得取消午餐
I'm sorry that I had to cancel lunch.
没事 没有问题
Not at all. It's not a problem.
April在电♥话♥上充满歉意 她还给我送了花
April here was very apologetic on the phone. She also sent me flowers.
April 想得很周到
April. Nice touch.
你好 Ron 是我 Ron
Hello, Ron. It's Ron.
如果你在看这个 那意味着又一次
If you're watching this, it means that once again
你已与恶魔共舞
you have danced with the devil.
现在 你可能会想 "Tammy变了 我们在一起会很幸福"
Right now, you're probably thinking, "Tammy's changed. We'll be happy together."
但你这么想只是因为她是条怪异的寄生虫
But you're only thinking that because she's a monstrous parasite
从你的私处钻进然后以你大脑为家
who entered through your privates and lodged herself in your brain.
所以你有两个选择
So you have two choices.
第一 摆脱Tammy
One, get rid of Tammy,
或者第二 脑叶切除以及阉♥割♥
or two, lobotomy and castration.
选聪明点
Choose wisely.
你个蠢货
You stupid ****.
这是在浪费时间
This is a waste of time.
你们这些人完全不知道自己在说什么
You people have no idea what you're talking about.
录像上是你自己 那是你在讲话
That was you on the tape. That was you talking.
Ron Ron
Ron? Ron!
Ron 你在这呢
Ron. There you are.
Ron 停下 天啊 拜托了
Ron. Stop it. God, please.
Ron 别那么做 - 哦 已经做完了 Leslie
Ron, don't do that. - Oh, it's done, Leslie.
Tammy和我相爱了 我们要一起建立家庭
Tammy and I are in love, and we're gonna start a family together.
实际上 她正在排卵
In fact, she's ovulating.
所以如果你们不介意 我们要去度蜜月了
So if you'll excuse us, we're heading off on our honeymoon.
哇 你们要去哪 - Jerry
Wow. Where are you going? - Jerry.
我们要在我的林中小屋度过11天
We're gonna spend 11 days in my cabin in the woods.
我们买♥♥了10箱佳得乐和18公斤花生来补充能量
We bought 10 cases of Gatorade and a 40-pound bag of peanuts for energy.
哦 天哪 - 给我
Oh, God. - Give me it.
好吧 借过
Okay. Excuse me.
Ann和我要出门了
Ann and I are headed out
我只想感谢你今天做的一切
and I just wanted to thank you for everything today,
我们明天见
and I will see you tomorrow.
嗨 Chris
Hi, Chris.
Ron Swanson让我过来给你送一份文件
Ron Swanson has sent me over to deliver to you this document.
"敬启者 亲爱的Chris
"To whom it may concern, dear Chris,
"出现了与公园部相关的紧急事件
"there is an emergency regarding the Parks Department,
"April可能是唯一能够帮忙的人
"and April may just be the only person who can help.
"我不能详述细节因为此事超级保密
"I can't get into details because it's super-classified.
"请将April永久归还给我们
"Please release April back to us permanently.
"上帝保佑美国
"God bless America.
"此致 Bert Macklin FBI"
"Love, Bert Macklin, FBI."
什么 - 好吧 那 再见了
What? - Okay. Well, bye.
April 听着
April, listen.
如果你不想为我工作 我不会强迫你
If you don't want to work for me, I'm not gonna force you.
你不必这么做
You didn't have to do this.
她没做这个啊 那是...
She didn't do that. That was...
哥们 我觉得听起来像是Macklin的决定
Dude, I think it sounds like it was Macklin's call.
你看 我懂的
Look, I get it.
你很年轻 努力没有那么酷
You're young, and trying isn't cool.
但我觉得你很聪明
But I think you're smart.
我很快就要会印第安纳波利斯了
I'm gonna be going back to Indianapolis soon,
而我觉得你该为我工作
and I think you should come work for me.
哇 大老远搬去印第安纳波利斯
Wow, move all the way to Indianapolis,
所以我能帮你买♥♥维生素和补药
so I can pick up your vitamins and supplements.
每个人都有开始的地方
Everybody starts somewhere.
你会旅行 你会遇见有意思的人
You'll travel, and you will meet interesting people.
考虑一下吧
Think about it.
好 我会考虑的
Okay. I will.
显然他想让April和他一起搬去印第安纳波利斯
Apparently he wants April to move to Indianapolis with him.
那也算个答案吧
So that's something.
我希望你现在高兴了
I hope you're happy.
我就想让他看到前妻和你认识的人约会感觉如何
Look, I just wanted to show him what it felt like to have your ex-wife date someone you know.
后面发生的事情都不是我的错
Whatever happened after that is not my fault.
是的 就是你的错
Yes, it is.
Tom 你做了一件特混♥蛋♥的事 我想你内心是知道的
Tom, you did a really crappy thing, and I think deep down, you know that.
Ron Swanson不管发生了什么都怪你
Whatever happens to Ron Swanson is on you.
不好意思 警长 抱歉打扰
Excuse me, chief. Sorry to interrupt.
嘿 披萨饺男孩 怎么了
Hey, calzone boy, what's up?
希望这个昵称不要留下来 对吧
Well, here's hoping that that nickname doesn't stick. Right?
但那不是我来的原因
But that's not why I'm here.
Leslie Knope那天找您帮个忙
Leslie Knope asked you for a favor the other day,
但实际需要的帮助会大很多
but the real favor we need is much bigger.
你是说 披萨饺大小的吗
You mean, like calzone size?
啊
Ah!
当然
Sure.
我们需要Pawnee警局志愿担下
We need the Pawnee police force to volunteer as security
接下来丰收节的安保工作
during the upcoming Harvest Festival.
市政♥府♥不让我们举办这个节日 除非...
Now, the city won't let us throw the festival unless...
不必多说
Say no more.
给我们发一个时间表 说下何时需要多少警力就行
Just send me a schedule of how many officers you need and when.
真的么 这样就行吗
Really? Just like that?
Leslie Knope需要怎么帮就怎么帮
Leslie Knope gets as many favors as she needs.
能问问为什么吗
Can I ask why?
因为她是那种找人帮忙是为了帮别人的人
Because she's the kind of a person who uses favors to help other people.
另外 我哥们Dave曾经是部门脾气最差的混♥蛋♥
And also, my buddy Dave was the crankiest bastard in the department
直到他开始和Leslie约会为止
till he started dating Leslie.
所以她...
So she...
好吧 他们还在约会还是...
Okay. Are they still dating or...
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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