公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S03E02
Part 1
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.
最近流感疯狂肆虐
There is a crazy flu going around.
很多悲惨的 脱水的人们得了高烧和腹泻
Lots of miserable, dehydrated people with high fevers and diarrhea.
其中一个脱水的 高烧的 悲惨的人 是April
And one of those dehydrated, high-fevered, miserable people is April.
她讨厌我
Who hates me.
我要换个护士
I want another nurse.
没人了 我们现在人手很紧
Well, there are none. We're stretched pretty thin right now.
那我要换个门卫 他们也能做你做的 对吧
Then, I want a janitor. They can do what you do, right?
是的 护士和门卫完全可以互换
Yep. Nurses and janitors are totally interchangeable.
除了没人装荡♥妇♥的时候会扮作门卫
Except no one dresses up like a janitor when they want to be slutty.
我感觉到你因为我亲了Andy而生我的气
I get the sense that maybe you're angry at me for kissing Andy.
不 我没有 你在说什么呢 这疯了吧
No, I'm not. What are you talking about? That's crazy.
然后你觉得在我身上撒气会很好玩
And that you think it might be fun to take it out on me.
请别这么做
Please don't do that.
做 我什么都做不了 我病了
Do? I can't do anything. I'm sick.
我的毯子掉地上了
My blankets are on the floor.
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
第3季 第2集
第3季 第2集
所以 JJ 我们想和你聊聊丰收节的事情
So, JJ, we wanted to talk to you about the Harvest Festival.
是啊 我听说你要重启了
Yeah, I heard you were bringing that back.
抱歉 我最近身体有点不适
Sorry, I haven't been feeling myself.
我在组织这次大规模的丰收节
Well, I'm organizing this huge Harvest Festival
而我需要至少80家本地商户参加
and I need at least 80 local businesses to participate.
通常来说这是我会喜欢做的事情
And normally this is the kind of thing I would love to do.
但我就是觉得很累
But, I'm just feeling really tired.
我想可能是我的过敏发作了
I think maybe my allergies are acting up.
我今天已经吐了 大概 五次了
I've already vomited, like, five times today.
我们今晚要在商会开会
We're having a meeting tonight at the Chamber of Commerce
我们会宣讲所有细节
and we're going to go over all the details.
我们会很感激你能来加入我们的
And we'd just love if you could come and join us.
当然
Sure.
为了我最喜欢的顾客什么都行
Anything for my favorite customer.
我打赌你对所有女孩子都这么说
I bet you say that to all the girls.
哦不 不 实际上 你真是我最喜欢的
Oh, no. No, actually, you're my favorite.
你去年光在华夫饼上就花了一千多
You spent over $1,000 last year on waffles alone.
给
Here.
我不知道给你带什么
I didn't know what to bring you,
所以我买♥♥了点杂♥志♥和口红
so I just got some magazines and lipstick.
女人的东西
Woman stuff.
谢谢
Thanks.
我父母就给我买♥♥了那个
All my parents got me was that.
好的 我不是很擅长在医院探访人
Okay, well, I'm not very good at visiting people in hospitals,
所以我就走了
So I'm going to go.
嘿 如果你见到Andy 别告诉他我在这好嘛
Hey. If you see Andy, will you not tell him I'm here?
好的 - 因为发生那件事之后
Okay. - Because of what happened,
我不想让他觉得... - 停下
I don't want him to think... - Stop!
不想了解
Don't want to know.
我对其他人的私事了解越少 就越开心
The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am.
我对关心别人毫无兴趣
I'm not interested in caring about people.
我曾经和一个家伙共事三年都不知道他的名字
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name.
那是我最好的朋友
Best friend I ever had.
我们现在偶尔还不说话
We still never talk sometimes.
所以 我们设计了一个收入分成公式
So, we've developed a revenue sharing formula
希望能吸引大多数企业主 但...
that will hopefully appeal to most business owners, but...
Leslie 回家吧 你病了
Leslie. Go home. You're sick.
我没病 只是过敏
I'm not sick. It's just allergies.
别这样 伙计们 就让我进去
Come on, guys. Just let me in there.
不 你不能进来
No. You can't come in here.
你不会进来的
You're not coming in.
Leslie 你看起来很累而且都是汗
Leslie, you look tired and you're all sweaty.
你一直看起来很累而且都是汗 你的理由是啥
You look tired and you're all sweaty all the time. What's your excuse?
你想说这个吗 Jerry
You want to go there, Jerry?
不想 - 好 我进来了
No. - Fine, I'm coming in.
Donna 堵上门 就现在
Donna, barricade the door now.
Donna 别这样 放我进去
Donna, come on. Just let me in.
不行
Mmm-mmm.
要么回家 要么回到隔离区
Either go home or go back into quarantine.
我不回家
I'm not going home.
出去吧 Leslie 回家 - 走人
Get out of here, Leslie. Go Home. - Hit the bricks.
哦 不是吧 不 不 不 不 不 她在我的东西上抹细菌
Come on. No, no, no, no, no. She's germing up all my stuff.
哦 呸
Aw, yuck!
Leslie
Leslie!
Ann Perkins
Ann Perkins.
嘿 跑得怎么样
Hey. How was your run?
最后一公里跑了3分24秒 个人最低成绩
Ended with a five-and-a-half minute mile. My personal low.
我觉得这个镇的路面好软
I think the pavement in this town is soft.
口罩是怎么回事
What's with the mask?
流感预防
Flu prevention.
我的身体是一个严格调整的微芯片
My body is finely-tuned, like a microchip,
而流感就是一粒沙子
and the flu is like a grain of sand.
它真的 可以关掉整个系统
It could literally shut down the entire system.
我的身体也像个片 薯片
My body's like a chip, too. A potato chip.
不好笑
No.
说到薯片 你跟我明天一起吃晚饭 对吧
Speaking of potato chips, you and I are on for dinner tomorrow, yes?
是的 当然 我超级 超级激动 非常期待
Yes. Definitely. I'm super, super excited. Looking forward to it.
太棒了
Excellent.
真棒 哥们 真棒
Way to go, buddy. Way to go.
我们出去约会了几次 我真的喜欢他
We've been on a couple of dates. I really like him.
问题是他就像是个完美的人类男性
The problem is he's like a perfect human man.
我找不到一点缺陷
I can't find one flaw.
有一次我觉得他放了屁
There was one time I thought he farted.
但其实是我
But it was me.
我需要找人顶替April
I need to find someone to fill in for April.
我知道我找不到一个
Now, I know I'm not going to find someone
极端刻薄又麻木冷漠的人
who's both aggressively mean and apathetic.
April确实是个全才
April really is the whole package.
但我觉得我可能认识一个
But I think I might know someone
同样低效的人
who will be just as ineffective.
你好啊 Andrew 有啥新鲜事
Hello, Andrew. What's new?
一大堆啊
A whole lot!
来看看 我刚刚发明的 超级吸管
Check this out. I just invented it. Super-straw.
所以 就坐在这做你的事
So, just sit here and do your thing.
我需要把衬衫扎进去吗
Do I have to tuck my shirt in?
因为 实话说 非要扎我就不乐意了
Because, honestly, that's kind of a deal breaker.
让它飞吧
Let it fly.
嘿 等等 April在哪
Hey, wait. Where is April?
她没事吧 - 是的
Is she all right? - Yeah.
我刚刚给她放了天假
I just gave her the day off.
我要是请一天假会很奇怪吗
Would it be weird if I asked for the day off?
啊 不 没事 我不用了
Yeah, no, it's okay. I didn't think so.
抱歉 你要走了吗 我以为我们要开会的
I'm sorry. Are you leaving? I thought we had a meeting.
不 我们要开 我只是觉得这里有点冷
No, we do. It's just I think it's a little chilly in here.
你还好吗 你眼神都呆滞了
Are you okay? Your eyes are glassy.
哦我的天 哦我的...她...她病了吗 你病了吗
Oh, my God. Oh, my... Is she... Is she sick? Are you sick?
没
No.
是的 她病了
Yeah! She's sick.
所以我才戴着这个 然后用洗手液喷自己
That's why I'm wearing this, and misting myself with hand sanitizer.
我没生病 我只是有过敏 好吧
I am not sick. I just have allergies, okay?
我吃了片氯雷他定然后吐掉了
I took a Claritin and I threw that up,
所以我又吃了一片 我吐掉了
so I took another one. I threw that up.
然后 我吃了第三片 然后它就呆着了 我已经好起来了
And then, I took a third and it stayed down. I'm getting better.
好吧 你发烧了 - 你才发烧了 咋
All right. You're burning up. - You're burning up. What?
我得离开这里
I have to get out of here.
我只有2.8%的身体脂肪
I have 2.8% body fat.
我的身体是个微芯片 一粒沙就能毁掉
My body is like a microchip. A grain of sand could destroy it.
我的身体是个微芯片
My body's a microchip.
Leslie 回家吧 - 不 我不能
Leslie, go home. - No, I can't.
我不能回家 我得为商河准备好
I can't go home. I have to get ready for the Chamber of Secrets.
商会 - 如果这次会议不能完美进行
Commerce. - If this meeting does not go perfectly,
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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