公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S03E12

Part 3 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.

and she invited basically everyone I knew,
然后他有一个很棒的男的会画脸
and she had this great guy doing face painting,
然后我当时画了个仙女老虎
and I had my face painted like a fairy tiger.
恶
Ugh.
还有她是嗯在我生日之前一周搞的
Also, she did it, like, a week before my birthday,
太天才了因为我根本没预料到
which is genius, 'cause I had no idea it was coming.
然后还有个充气城♥堡♥
And then there was a bouncy castle.
你知道他们还有成人款的吗
Did you know they made those for adults?
嗯哼
Mmm-hmm.
要不我这次换一个吧我能试试法式熏肠吗
Maybe I'll change it up this time. Can I try the andouille sausage?
Tom 我们走了 - 什么别啊
Tom, let's go. - What? No.
嘿你也这样啊
Hey, not you too.
很难吃我不喜欢太恶心了
It's gross. I don't like it. It's disgusting.
你们拿了公共论♥坛♥的礼品袋了吗
Did you guys get your public forum gift bag?
里面有个iPod touch啊
There's an iPod touch in here.
唉她以前可不是这样的 Eagleton真的改变了她
Man, she used to not be like this. Eagleton really changed her.
是啊你们俩之前究竟发生了什么啊
Yeah, what exactly happened between the two of you, anyway?
五年前 Eagleton想给我那份工作
Five years ago, Eagleton offered me that job.
然后你拒绝了你是疯了吗
And you said no? Are you insane?
我和Lindsay聊过了
I talked it over with Lindsay,
我们约定好要一起呆在Pawnee
and we made a pact that we would stay in Pawnee together
努力工作打拼让Pawnee变成一个更适合居住的地方
and work hard and fight to make Pawnee a better place to live.
然后他们问她去不去工作她接受了就消失了
And then they offered her the job, and she took it and disappeared.
哇
Wow.
哦马鞭草香的大豆蜡烛诶
Ooh, verbena-scented soy candles!
你想让我做什么啊
You want me to do what, now?
把Leslie送去执行个什么任务开个会之类的
Send Leslie somewhere on an assignment, a conference or something,
然后让她带上April 然后冻结她们的账户
and make her take April and freeze their bank accounts.
我不理解是Leslie的工作令人不满意了吗
I don't understand. Is Leslie's work unsatisfactory?
不这和她的工作无关
No, it has nothing to do with her work.
我不想仔细讲
I don't want to get into it.
Ron 你看是我好吧
Ron, look, this is me, okay?
你知道你可以跟我聊任何事的
You know you can talk to me about anything.
嗯这...这周五是我的生日
Well, it's...it's my birthday on Friday.
嘿生日快乐啊
Hey! Happy Birthday.
我现在就要结束这一切我准备早退然后回家
I'm ending this right now. I'm just gonna leave early and go home.
除非...
Unless...
那正是她想让我做的
That's exactly what she wants me to do.
好的所有人拿个袋子然后打开
All right, everybody just grab a bag and open it up
然后试着在里面找点脏东西
and then try to find some dirty stuff in there.
你们在干嘛
What are you doing?
Eagleton把我们当做垃圾我们就把他们当做垃圾
Eagleton treats us like garbage. We're gonna treat them like garbage.
我们要拿这几袋垃圾扔到他们那边的公园里
We're gonna take these bags of trash, and we're gonna throw it over to their side of the park.
我们就要让它们变臭让浣熊撒野
And then we're just gonna let the stink and the raccoons run wild.
啊这不就是正中他们想象中的样子了吗
Well, isn't that just playing right into what they think of you?
哦我的天我在想什么我们停下吧
Oh, my God. What am I thinking? Let's just stop this.
把所有东西放回卡车上
Put everything back in the truck.
我们倒回去 - 不不不不
Let's back it up. - No, no, no, no.
Leslie 你保证过我们可以把垃圾到处乱扔的
Leslie, you promised we could throw garbage everywhere.
哇
Wow.
我没想到在这看到公园部全体人员
I didn't expect to see the whole Parks Department here,
虽然很可悲的是这已经是镇上最好的地方之一了
although it is, sadly, one of the nicest spots in town.
我已经受够了 Lindsay
I am so sick of this, Lindsay.
等等 Leslie 我来
Wait, Leslie. I've got this.
你给我听着 Lindsay Carlisle Shay
You listen to me, Lindsay Carlisle Shay.
你为啥不带着你昂贵的狗
Why don't you take your fancy dog,
回到你的Escalade豪车里
get in your Escalade,
如果你们有职位空缺
and if you have any job openings,
或许你应该让我知道
maybe you should let me know about 'em.
不是吧大哥 - 不
Come on, man. - No!
我已经受够被当作好像不想搬到Eagleton去因为我想
I'm sick of being treated like I'm not willing to relocate to Eagleton, because I am!
所以这是你能做的女士
So here's what you could do, lady.
拿着这份简历
Take this resume
然后塞进你们的人力资源部信箱
and shove it into your human resources slot.
哦耶塞进去
Oh, yeah! Shove it there!
别
No.
你可能有辆豪车一个红木钱包
You might have a fancy car and a mahogany purse,
或者随便啥富人有的东西
or whatever rich people have,
但我记得些你想遗忘的东西
but I remember something that you're trying to forget.
你是个Pawnee姑娘
You're a Pawnee girl.
不 Leslie 我不是
No, Leslie, I'm not.
好那你为什么在饭点来这里
Well, then why do you come here at dinnertime
外带传说中的JJ餐厅的餐点呢
and get takeout from the legendary J.J.'s Diner?
这不是给我的啊
It's not for me.
这些华夫饼是很好的狗泻药
These waffles make great dog laxatives.
你敢
Don't you dare
把华夫饼喂给狗让它拉屎
feed that waffle to that dog to get it to poop.
Sambuca要拉了吗
Sambuca need to make?
给你吧
There you go.
Leslie - 你怎么敢的
Leslie. - How dare you?
不 - 抓住她 Leslie
No! - Get her, Leslie!
不
No!
垃圾大战
Garbage fight!
她蓄意谋杀你们要逮捕她
I want her arrested for attempted murder.
看在上帝的份上 Knope 省省吧
For God's sake, Knope. Get a grip.
谢天谢地你们来了
Thank God you're here!
你们逮捕她
I want her arrested!
她攻击了我
She attacked me,
然后她把我的Kate Spade头带扔到哪儿去了
and then she hurled my Kate Spade headband somewhere.
我认为我的Eagleton同事们会同意
I think my Eagleton colleagues would agree
我们不想把这个事情折腾成联邦案件
that we don't want to make a federal case out of this,
所以我建议二位向对方道歉
so I suggest you both apologize to each other,
我们就装作这些都没发生
and we pretend this never happened.
我永远不会向她道歉的
I will never apologize to her.
吾亦非 - "吾亦非"
Nor I her. - "Nor I her."
吾乃蠢货屁脸
I doth proclaim to be a stupid fartface.
不错的反驳是萧伯纳给你写的吗
Nice retort. Did G.B. Shaw write that for you?
萧伯纳写了你的蠢货屁脸吗
Did G.B. Shaw write your stupid fartface?
女士们如果你们不道歉
Ladies, if you don't apologize,
我们只能把二位扔进大牢了
we're gonna have to toss the both of you in jail.
所以就咽下你们的骄傲
So just swallow your pride...
说你们很抱歉
Say you're sorry.
"真正的改变来自于这些墙壁之内"
我们希望你能享受在Eagleton拘留所的夜晚
We hope you enjoy your evening here at the Eagleton holding cell.
你需要点什么吗草本茶希腊酸奶
Can I offer you anything... herbal tea, Greek yogurt?
不要
No.
周三
早啊 Ron
Morning, Ron.
哦伙计你忘了穿衬衣了
Ooh, dude, you forgot to put a shirt on.
我一直这样没事的
I do it all the time. It's fine.
我在这睡的 - 厉害哦
I slept here. - Sweet.
所以一只小鸟告诉我你马上过生日了
So a little birdie told me it's your birthday coming up.
来个生日免费擦鞋如何
How about a free birthday shoe shine?
这只小鸟告诉你我生日要发生什么了
What did this little birdie tell you is going to happen for my birthday?
哦少来了 Ron 你从我这问不到任何事情的
Oh, nice try, Ron. You're not getting anything out of me.
Andrew 拜托了
Andrew, please.
Ron 你看我很爱你就像个父亲一样
Ron, look, I love you like a father
但没有比我那么年长的...
who's not that much older than me...
像是个年轻的叔叔...
like a young uncle...
或者像呃你是我的野营指导
or like, uh, you were my camp counselor,
但我们是成年人所以我们能相处
but we're adults, so we hang out,
也不觉得奇怪你懂的
and it's not weird, you know.
或者实际上是这样的
Or, actually, here's what it is.
你是我的曲棍球教练 - 我懂了我懂了
You're my Lacrosse coach. - I get it. I get it.
重点是啥
What's the point?
啊教练
Well, coach,
Leslie让我发誓保密所以我啥也不能说
Leslie swore me to secrecy, so I can't say anything.
我欠她太多我不能给她毁了
I owe her so much. I can't ruin it for her.
好我表示尊重 - 嗯哼
Well, I respect that. - Mm-hmm.
回头见 - 好吧...
See you later. - Okay...
除非我先见到你呢 Ron叔叔
Not if I see you first, Uncle Ron.
我可能会的