公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S03E02

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.

丰收节在开始之前就要结束了
then the Harvest Festival is going to be over before it begins.
我不能回家
I cannot go home.
好吧那谁是你的医生
Okay, then, who's your doctor?
Ann是我的医生
Ann's my doctor.
她也是世界上最漂亮的护士
And she's the most beautiful nurse in the world.
来吧
Come on.
哦天现在我好热现在这里真的好热
Oh, God. Now, I'm hot. Now, it's really hot in here.
好吧那是你的烧
Okay, well, that's your fever.
Leslie 我把你的症状输到这个东西这里
Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here,
然后它说你可能有"网络连接问题"
and it says you could have "network connectivity problems".
40℃
104.1.
Leslie 你脱水了我要收你入院了
Leslie, you're dehydrated. I'm admitting you.
如果我病了我能做这个吗
If I was sick, could I do this?
你在做什么 - 侧手翻
What are you doing? - Cartwheels.
我没在做吗 - 没有
Am I not doing them? - No.
不用担心我之前做过这种展示
Look, don't worry. I've done presentations like this before,
Tom会跟我一起所以会照顾好的
and Tom will be with me. So, you're in good hands.
不是我不相信Ben
It's not that I don't trust Ben.
而是我对Ben没有信任
It's that I don't have faith in Ben.
还有我开始忘记Ben是谁了
And, also, I'm starting to forget who Ben is.
我来整理大纲如果你想...
I'll handle the general outline. If you want to...
听着 - 直接加入的话
Look. - ...just jump right in.
对于这一类的重要展示你能做的最坏的事
The worst thing you can do with an important presentation like this
就是过度准备
is over-prepare.
那... - 所以
Well... - So,
我觉得我的最佳选择是去水疗
I think it's best if I go to the spa.
不我们向Leslie保证要准备会议的
No, we promised Leslie we'd prep for the meeting.
不 Ben 是你向Leslie保证
No, Ben. You promised Leslie.
你看我从来不向Leslie保证任何事
See, I never promise Leslie anything.
那样我永远不会让她失望
That way, I never disappoint her.
我试着保持体贴
I try to be considerate.
好我出发泡个三温暖了再会
Well, I am off for a soak and a schvitz. Arrivederch.
Ron Swanson的办公室
Ron Swanson's office.
好的我来给你转接
Yes, I will transfer you.
我又挂断一个电♥话♥了
I just dropped another call.
我觉得你可能想要一组新枕头
I thought you might like a fresh set of pillows.
你是想闷死我吗
Are you trying to smother me?
救命啊这个荡♥妇♥护士想要用枕头闷死我
Help! This slutty nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow!
好吧算了 - 离我远点荡♥妇♥
Okay, never mind. - Stay back, slut!
我知道她想干什么
I know what she's trying to do.
她想让我崩溃
She's trying to get me to break.
你知道吗我才不会呢
And you know what? I'm not going to do it.
我要保持专业我要换上笑脸
I'm going to be professional and I'm going to put on a happy face.
然后我要去一个储藏柜
And then, I'm going to go into a supply closet
掰断一堆压舌板
and snap a bunch of tongue depressors.
好的我们来聊聊你的开场白
Okay. So, let's talk about your opening remarks.
想让我给你写段说唱词吗我给你写一段
Do you want me to write you a rap? I'll write you a rap.
不你知道吗
No, you know what?
你永远没办法搞定的你太白人了
You're never going to be able to pull it off. You're too white.
不然来段音乐剧歌♥曲之类的
How about a show tune or something?
我只是计划用非音乐的方式自我介绍
I was just planning to introduce myself, non-musically,
然后让所有人看下手上的资料
and then, get everyone to refer to their packets.
等等诸如此类 - 不行
And blah, blah, blah. - No.
不要"等等" 好嘛
No "blah, blah, blah", okay?
你需要跟我一起把每条细节过一遍
You need to go over every single detail with me.
Leslie 我向你保证我不会马马虎虎的好吧现在休息一下
Leslie, I promise you I won't half-ass this. Okay? Now, get some rest.
我有好消息我觉得我的烧刚刚退了
I have some great news. I think my fever just broke.
再见
Goodbye.
这个刚掉出来了
It just came out.
我饿死了我从昨天开始就没吃午饭了
I am starving. I haven't had lunch since yesterday.
所以我准备去Callahan's
So, I'm going to head over to Callahan's.
哦不不不别去那他们家酸黄瓜给得很小气
Oh, no, no, no. Don't go there. They totally skimp on pickles.
让我帮你去大头Joe家买♥♥
Let me go to Big Head Joe's for you.
他们家的墨西哥煎饼好吃疯了
They have the most insane burritos.
我对外国食品没啥兴趣
I don't much go for ethnic food.
不相信我他们有个叫做"肉旋风"的东西
No, trust me. They have one that's called the "Meat Tornado".
去年真的吃死了一个人
It literally killed a guy last year.
你在"肉旋风"那里说服我了
You had me at "Meat Tornado".
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
嘿那个流感药真的帮忙了
Hey. That flu medicine really helped.
我觉得好了百分之一千跟新的一样
I feel a thousand percent better. Good as new.
这条围巾看起来怎么样
Does this scarf look okay?
我不想看起来很闷但我也不想看起来很蠢
I don't want to look stuffy. But I also don't want to look too "schlubby".
回到床上去 - 所以不戴围巾了吗
Get back in that bed. - So no to the scarf?
回到床上去
Get back in the bed.
不我要去开那个会
No, I'm going to that meeting.
要不你回到床上要不我绑你回去
Either you get back in the bed, or I will strap you down.
我之前做过别考验我
I've done it before. Don't test me.
好吧好吧好吧
Okay, okay, okay.
现在你想有什么超能力
Now, what superpower would you rather have?
你想会飞还是想透明化
Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?
Ed 先来
Ed, go first.
飞吧我猜
Fly, I guess.
哦我忘了说你只能飞离地面一米五
I forgot to tell you. You can only fly five feet above the ground.
我给这些家伙的水疗经历带来了一些潇洒和情趣
I bring a certain panache and spice to the spa experience for these guys.
我加入之前他们就是在热水里静静煮着的三个老白男
Before I joined, they were just three old white dudes quietly boiling in hot water.
你是愿意住在大袋鼠的袋子里呢
Would you rather live in the pocket of a giant kangaroo
还是自己肚子上有个袋子
or have a pocket on your own stomach
袋子里一直有只袋鼠呢
that has a tiny kangaroo in it all the time?
Preston
Preston.
自己肚子袋上有小袋鼠
Tiny kangaroo in my stomach pocket.
哦我忘了提小袋鼠是种族歧视
Forgot to mention, the tiny kangaroo is a racist.
嘿 Ann - 发生什么了
Hey, Ann. - What happened?
我几个小时前见你的时候你还好啊
I just saw you a few hours ago, and you were fine.
不是那种"该死你好帅"的好而是健康方面的好
Not like, "Damn, you're fine," but fine health-wise.
我的身体没有用来抵御疾病的脂肪
My body has no fat to protect itself from disease.
事情会发生得很快听我说
Things happen very quickly. Listen to me.
重要的是你要帮我的身体补充电解质
It's very important that you replenish my body with electrolytes
在我每次非自愿流失体液之后
after every involuntary loss of bodily fluids.
哦天 - 我的身体生病时会流失很多体液
Oh, boy. - My body tends to lose a lot of fluids when it's sick.
我的大脑在起火我要死了
My brain is on fire. I'm dying.
好吧你肯定是得流感了
Well, you definitely have the flu.
我的天
Oh, my God.
微芯片被击垮了
The microchip has been compromised.
Pierre Garcon是第六轮被选上的
Pierre Garcon was a sixth-round pick.
Collie是第四轮
Collie was the fourth round.
印第安纳波利斯小马队真的知道怎么选人
Indianapolis Colts know how to draft so well.
他们确实
They really do.
Andy 这也太好吃了
Andy, this was delicious.
这很棒吧哈
It's awesome, huh?
是一种全新的肉食系统
It's a whole new meat delivery system.
谢谢你孩子
Thank you, son.
你觉得我们去停车场
What do you say we go out to the parking lot,
传几个球烧掉热量如何
run a few pass plays to burn off the calories?
你就是个停不下来的好点子机器
You are an unstoppable good idea machine!
我喜欢Andy
I like Andy.
我在这个部门被一大群女人包围
I'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department.
其中还包括男性
And that includes the men.
哈哈哈
Hup, hup, hup!
Peyton Manning 防守积极 Reggie Wayne 小马队绕过防守
Peyton Manning reading the defense! Reggie Wayne, Colts corner!
Andy 等我
Andy, wait up!
嘿 April
Hey, April.
我看到你呼叫我了我能为你做什么
I saw that you called for me. What can I do for you?
我还需要感冒药
I need more flu medicine.
真正的请求啊
An actual request.
但不能给你那个药劲太大不能加量
Well, you can't have any. That stuff is powerful, no extra doses.
我都没吃
I didn't take any.
Leslie进来偷走了就离开了
Leslie came in here and stole it and left.
Leslie Leslie
Leslie? Leslie!
嘿你看见Leslie了吗
Hey, have you seen Leslie?